Stuff Ordinands Say
@ordinandssay.bsky.social
Overheard at theological college (mk II) . Our DMs are open for submissions.
"If you can bless the rains down in Africa, you can bless a river."
May 2, 2025 at 10:03 AM
"If you can bless the rains down in Africa, you can bless a river."
'We're going to say a hail Mary.'
'Ah yes, the injection song.'
'Ah yes, the injection song.'
March 10, 2025 at 9:33 PM
'We're going to say a hail Mary.'
'Ah yes, the injection song.'
'Ah yes, the injection song.'
"It's a violation of my human rights! I am trapped in a room, forced to talk about theology and... feelings!"
"That's just ministry?"
"That's just ministry?"
February 20, 2025 at 10:51 PM
"It's a violation of my human rights! I am trapped in a room, forced to talk about theology and... feelings!"
"That's just ministry?"
"That's just ministry?"
"I think I've sprained my ankle from genuflecting too much."
February 12, 2025 at 4:04 PM
"I think I've sprained my ankle from genuflecting too much."
(at the pizza night)
"Is it rude to double dip?"
"Well we share a chalice."
"Though we are many we are one body because we all share in one dip."
"Is it rude to double dip?"
"Well we share a chalice."
"Though we are many we are one body because we all share in one dip."
February 8, 2025 at 7:04 PM
(at the pizza night)
"Is it rude to double dip?"
"Well we share a chalice."
"Though we are many we are one body because we all share in one dip."
"Is it rude to double dip?"
"Well we share a chalice."
"Though we are many we are one body because we all share in one dip."
"The hypostatic union is like a bra, it holds Christ's divinity and humanity together"
February 6, 2025 at 10:18 AM
"The hypostatic union is like a bra, it holds Christ's divinity and humanity together"
"If they say all protestants are going to burn in hell, that's extreme, but not radicalising."
"But if they say let's set fire to all the protestants on their beds -"
"That's radicalising!"
"But if they say let's set fire to all the protestants on their beds -"
"That's radicalising!"
January 31, 2025 at 6:14 PM
"If they say all protestants are going to burn in hell, that's extreme, but not radicalising."
"But if they say let's set fire to all the protestants on their beds -"
"That's radicalising!"
"But if they say let's set fire to all the protestants on their beds -"
"That's radicalising!"
*in a discussion of clerical headgear*
"I could wear a Canterbury cap, I have that early modernist swag."
"I could wear a Canterbury cap, I have that early modernist swag."
January 29, 2025 at 8:28 AM
*in a discussion of clerical headgear*
"I could wear a Canterbury cap, I have that early modernist swag."
"I could wear a Canterbury cap, I have that early modernist swag."
We have arrived (in time to celebrate Charles, King and Martyr, later in the week).
Our DMs are open for your funny and non-libellous submissions.
Our DMs are open for your funny and non-libellous submissions.
January 28, 2025 at 5:20 PM
We have arrived (in time to celebrate Charles, King and Martyr, later in the week).
Our DMs are open for your funny and non-libellous submissions.
Our DMs are open for your funny and non-libellous submissions.
"I know you can't put God in a box - but I'm trying to!"
January 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
"I know you can't put God in a box - but I'm trying to!"
“Look, I just don’t understand how Charles is a martyr”
“Because he had his head cut off?”
“Lots of people had their head cut off.”
“Because he had his head cut off?”
“Lots of people had their head cut off.”
January 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
“Look, I just don’t understand how Charles is a martyr”
“Because he had his head cut off?”
“Lots of people had their head cut off.”
“Because he had his head cut off?”
“Lots of people had their head cut off.”
*Is given a candle to share with another parishioner for Candlemas*
"Are we in a Covenanted Friendship now?"
"Are we in a Covenanted Friendship now?"
January 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
*Is given a candle to share with another parishioner for Candlemas*
"Are we in a Covenanted Friendship now?"
"Are we in a Covenanted Friendship now?"
"Wait, why am I defending the Catholics?"
"Only you can know that."
"Only you can know that."
January 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
"Wait, why am I defending the Catholics?"
"Only you can know that."
"Only you can know that."
"When does this class end?"
"With the Second Coming. Or 3 p.m., whichever arrives first."
"With the Second Coming. Or 3 p.m., whichever arrives first."
January 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
"When does this class end?"
"With the Second Coming. Or 3 p.m., whichever arrives first."
"With the Second Coming. Or 3 p.m., whichever arrives first."
"What's the Silmarillion?"
"To the Lord of the Rings it's the Old Testam-"
"Shush, you!"
"To the Lord of the Rings it's the Old Testam-"
"Shush, you!"
January 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
"What's the Silmarillion?"
"To the Lord of the Rings it's the Old Testam-"
"Shush, you!"
"To the Lord of the Rings it's the Old Testam-"
"Shush, you!"
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
“You’d think that hymn books would leave out number 666”
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
“You’d think that hymn books would leave out number 666”
Anglican ordinand, entering St Peter’s: “Ok, into the belly of the beast”
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Anglican ordinand, entering St Peter’s: “Ok, into the belly of the beast”
In a discussion about universalism: "Don't deprive me of my hope of everlasting damnation!"
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
In a discussion about universalism: "Don't deprive me of my hope of everlasting damnation!"
[Raises hands in the air] I squirm for God!
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
[Raises hands in the air] I squirm for God!
“Welcome to middle England: we don’t have convictions, we have tea and queuing”
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
“Welcome to middle England: we don’t have convictions, we have tea and queuing”
On reading the Bible: “the text is inspired, not the footnotes.”
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
On reading the Bible: “the text is inspired, not the footnotes.”
"We don't try enough people for heresy these days."
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
"We don't try enough people for heresy these days."
“I like Eucharistic prayers A-C, but the rest should be cast into outer darkness”
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
“I like Eucharistic prayers A-C, but the rest should be cast into outer darkness”
"... turn the other cheek. And if someone makes fun of you with one meme, send them another!"
January 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
"... turn the other cheek. And if someone makes fun of you with one meme, send them another!"