imattmypants
@okmattallen.bsky.social
somebody bring me some ham
To my Uber driver who, when I got in the car, turned the radio/streaming service to whatever is currently playing Oops!...I Did It Again while on my way to Thanksgiving in NJ really just set the mood for the rest of my day.
November 27, 2025 at 6:59 PM
To my Uber driver who, when I got in the car, turned the radio/streaming service to whatever is currently playing Oops!...I Did It Again while on my way to Thanksgiving in NJ really just set the mood for the rest of my day.
I left my apartment yesterday at 2:30 pm and just got back into said apartment for the first time because I somehow lost my keys while out playing pinball and seeing a show yesterday...
November 3, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I left my apartment yesterday at 2:30 pm and just got back into said apartment for the first time because I somehow lost my keys while out playing pinball and seeing a show yesterday...
The amount of enjoyment that I got from this production
November 3, 2025 at 3:04 AM
The amount of enjoyment that I got from this production
Out celebrating a friend's birthday a day early and just really feeling appreciative of the people in my circle💚
October 3, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Out celebrating a friend's birthday a day early and just really feeling appreciative of the people in my circle💚
I will be losing it come February
September 25, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I will be losing it come February
I'm crying watching the Downton Abbey Celebrates The Grand Finale retrospective on NBC — I haven't even seen any of the movies lol why do I love the people so much 😂😭
September 11, 2025 at 2:01 AM
I'm crying watching the Downton Abbey Celebrates The Grand Finale retrospective on NBC — I haven't even seen any of the movies lol why do I love the people so much 😂😭
To the (presumably straight) man driving the giant yellow moving truck that just drove past my apartment with the windows down BLASTING Lucky Star by Madonna... I see you, I hear you, and I appreciate everything you're doing.
September 10, 2025 at 5:02 PM
To the (presumably straight) man driving the giant yellow moving truck that just drove past my apartment with the windows down BLASTING Lucky Star by Madonna... I see you, I hear you, and I appreciate everything you're doing.
screaming crying throwing up
September 9, 2025 at 2:30 PM
screaming crying throwing up
there are few images that trigger me more than this screen
September 9, 2025 at 1:56 PM
there are few images that trigger me more than this screen
I like that I have friends who call me in the morning to ask "can I come over?" and then they do come over and we just act silly and gay the rest of the day 💚
August 29, 2025 at 2:40 PM
I like that I have friends who call me in the morning to ask "can I come over?" and then they do come over and we just act silly and gay the rest of the day 💚
goddamnit
Gloria Gaynor has donated nearly $22,000 to Republican politicians/groups since 2016, according to FEC filings.
The records resurfaced after the singer was invited to the Kennedy Center by Donald Trump.
The records resurfaced after the singer was invited to the Kennedy Center by Donald Trump.
August 27, 2025 at 2:19 AM
goddamnit
Everyone going crazy over the TS12 announcement and here I am barely able to focus on work because I can't stop thinking about the Alien: Earth premiere tonight
August 12, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Everyone going crazy over the TS12 announcement and here I am barely able to focus on work because I can't stop thinking about the Alien: Earth premiere tonight
I'm so so so happy I saw Weapons is a packed theater. Experiencing the audience reactions was perfection
August 8, 2025 at 4:16 AM
I'm so so so happy I saw Weapons is a packed theater. Experiencing the audience reactions was perfection
What's a job for someone who has worked extensively in the daytime TV world AND in food-related social media around celebrities — who has no real skills/abilities but is such an extraordinary "personality hire" that he would be an incredibly valuable employee to any organization? Asking for me.
August 7, 2025 at 5:22 PM
What's a job for someone who has worked extensively in the daytime TV world AND in food-related social media around celebrities — who has no real skills/abilities but is such an extraordinary "personality hire" that he would be an incredibly valuable employee to any organization? Asking for me.
Loooooove that this is the guy my parents chose to vote for instead of having a relationship with their son. Guess I should have taken the hint that they don't care about children 🤷♂️
Donald Trump says he wants to prosecute minors as adults starting at age 14 in Washington D.C.:
“If this continues, I am going to exert my powers, and FEDERALIZE this City. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”
“If this continues, I am going to exert my powers, and FEDERALIZE this City. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”
August 5, 2025 at 9:23 PM
Loooooove that this is the guy my parents chose to vote for instead of having a relationship with their son. Guess I should have taken the hint that they don't care about children 🤷♂️
Reposted by imattmypants
Nebraska Republican Mike Flood held a town hall that started with boos shortly after he took the stage and ended with chants of "vote him out!".
One audience member, asking about 'Alligator Alcatraz', pressed Flood: "How much do taxpayers have to pay for a fascist country?"
One audience member, asking about 'Alligator Alcatraz', pressed Flood: "How much do taxpayers have to pay for a fascist country?"
August 5, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Nebraska Republican Mike Flood held a town hall that started with boos shortly after he took the stage and ended with chants of "vote him out!".
One audience member, asking about 'Alligator Alcatraz', pressed Flood: "How much do taxpayers have to pay for a fascist country?"
One audience member, asking about 'Alligator Alcatraz', pressed Flood: "How much do taxpayers have to pay for a fascist country?"
Pinball Sunday has kind of become my favorite day
August 4, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Pinball Sunday has kind of become my favorite day
Reposted by imattmypants
I need Alien: Earth to be good. My mental health is at stake.
July 20, 2025 at 1:48 PM
I need Alien: Earth to be good. My mental health is at stake.
Flights (finally) booked for Vegas — next week I get to spend with two of my favorite friends who I haven't seen in far too long AND I will be seeing Lady Gaga opening night of the Mayhem tour
a black and white cat is crying and covering its face with its hand .
ALT: a black and white cat is crying and covering its face with its hand .
media.tenor.com
July 8, 2025 at 3:30 AM
Flights (finally) booked for Vegas — next week I get to spend with two of my favorite friends who I haven't seen in far too long AND I will be seeing Lady Gaga opening night of the Mayhem tour
this brought me much joy
July 3, 2025 at 3:16 PM
this brought me much joy
Leaving my apartment to get popsicles — pray I'm not vaporized upon opening the front door.
June 24, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Leaving my apartment to get popsicles — pray I'm not vaporized upon opening the front door.