Chris Swift
notsoswift.bsky.social
Chris Swift
@notsoswift.bsky.social
Tweet tweet how the fuck do I work this thing?
September 23, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Somehow ended up in a conversation about baseball and my only frame of reference for this sport is the homoerotic baseball number in High School Musical 2.
June 23, 2025 at 1:48 AM
I love talking to @naquicious.bsky.social because you get gems like “And those are my thoughts on cum for the evening.”
June 2, 2025 at 5:11 AM
My predictions for tonight’s Andor episode titles:

Episode 7: “Oui Oui”
Episode 8: “Ghormans Get Pasted Too, Eh?”
Episode 9: “Mon Mothma and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”
May 6, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Yes please.
May 3, 2025 at 1:42 AM
I’m so sick of the gays in Star Wars discourse. The only one with correct opinions on the matter is me.
May 3, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Sorry but this is all I have ever wanted in life.
May 2, 2025 at 1:34 PM
I thought death stroke was another name for auto-erotic asphyxiation but it turns out it’s a Batman villain.
April 29, 2025 at 3:46 AM
I can’t wait to get Luthen Rael’s backstory about how he was a drag queen before the Empire took over and outlawed it. That’s why his wig game is so good!
April 24, 2025 at 6:54 PM
April 24, 2025 at 2:43 AM
GoldDerby reported on Andor’s Emmy submissions and then ran an editorial saying Genevieve O’Reilly has almost no chance at a nomination so now I have a vendetta against them lol
April 23, 2025 at 8:39 PM
POE DAMERON HOT TOY INCOMING!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!
April 17, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Shoutout to last year when voice memos weren't working for me so I was straight up sending videos of myself singing terribly to people instead and one time my mother got home early and walked in on me singing Shrek: The Musical but I finished the song anyway because I'm not a bitch.
April 16, 2025 at 2:05 AM
I just finished the first season of Severance and HOLY SHIT
April 12, 2025 at 2:30 AM
April 10, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Depressive episodes and chronic suicidal ideation are so fun. I’m having a great time.
April 10, 2025 at 2:00 AM
My live reaction to episode 3 of Severance.
April 3, 2025 at 1:59 AM
April 1, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I just watched the Severance pilot and I get the hype.
April 1, 2025 at 3:46 AM
They’re doing The Force Awakens in concert here in May but it’s a two hour drive each way and none of my local friends care about Star Wars so I’m probably making the trip alone. Sucks. :/
March 31, 2025 at 9:07 PM
I LOVE HER MIND I LOVE HER HAIR I LOVE HER HALO
March 30, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Avengers Doomsday? More like Avengers Doomsgay am I right?
March 30, 2025 at 2:49 AM
The homoerotic baseball number in High School Musical 2 is the only time I’ve ever been interested in a sporting event.
March 30, 2025 at 2:19 AM
One month until Andor? More like One Monthma! (Is that anything?)
March 23, 2025 at 2:37 AM
March 15, 2025 at 3:01 AM