burnt toast
@notetoself9.bsky.social
I swear I'm cooler in person.
Pinned
burnt toast
@notetoself9.bsky.social
· Feb 23
Apparently we're introducing ourselves with a book, a movie, a show, and an album now? Anyway here's mine.
everyone always asks who was phone but no one ever asks how was phone
November 23, 2025 at 1:27 AM
everyone always asks who was phone but no one ever asks how was phone
there's an Anne Rice thing happening in NOLA tonight and I'm not there
FML
FML
November 2, 2025 at 1:20 AM
there's an Anne Rice thing happening in NOLA tonight and I'm not there
FML
FML
my favorite thing is complaining about being cold while refusing to wear shoes
October 31, 2025 at 1:23 AM
my favorite thing is complaining about being cold while refusing to wear shoes
yes, dear, I am aware that he hung from the rafters and ate a handful of cigarettes
I think that's kinda his thing
I think that's kinda his thing
October 16, 2025 at 1:29 AM
yes, dear, I am aware that he hung from the rafters and ate a handful of cigarettes
I think that's kinda his thing
I think that's kinda his thing
I'm sad that Peacemaker is over but I'm not sad that I don't have to hear my spouse's "I saw Foxy Shazam live before they were cool" story on a weekly basis anymore
October 16, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I'm sad that Peacemaker is over but I'm not sad that I don't have to hear my spouse's "I saw Foxy Shazam live before they were cool" story on a weekly basis anymore
if you make videos with your head and pointing finger floating in another video please know I hate you and I hope you drop your phone in a public toilet
October 10, 2025 at 1:05 AM
if you make videos with your head and pointing finger floating in another video please know I hate you and I hope you drop your phone in a public toilet
but the pearl clutching over it makes me want to throw myself off a fucking cliff
October 4, 2025 at 2:17 AM
but the pearl clutching over it makes me want to throw myself off a fucking cliff
that being said I don't plan to watch the Ryan Murphy show because his stuff kinda sucks these days
October 4, 2025 at 2:16 AM
that being said I don't plan to watch the Ryan Murphy show because his stuff kinda sucks these days
he was a casual murder enthusiast with a taxidermy hobby
October 4, 2025 at 2:11 AM
he was a casual murder enthusiast with a taxidermy hobby
jesus christ does my eye twitch every time I see some dumb redditor call Ed Gein a serial killer
October 4, 2025 at 2:06 AM
jesus christ does my eye twitch every time I see some dumb redditor call Ed Gein a serial killer
and you gotta buy the expensive rice
September 28, 2025 at 11:56 PM
and you gotta buy the expensive rice
the secret is patience and caramelized onions
September 28, 2025 at 11:52 PM
the secret is patience and caramelized onions
who needs drugs when you can spend an afternoon making an excellent risotto?
September 28, 2025 at 11:49 PM
who needs drugs when you can spend an afternoon making an excellent risotto?
is it just me or does the shitty opera singer from IWTV S1 look like his catchphrase should be super easy, barely an inconvenience?
September 26, 2025 at 1:44 AM
is it just me or does the shitty opera singer from IWTV S1 look like his catchphrase should be super easy, barely an inconvenience?
inside me there are two wolves
one is dying to see the eyeball monster burrow into this guy's head
the other panics when he is in peril because they are enchanted by his vibes
one is dying to see the eyeball monster burrow into this guy's head
the other panics when he is in peril because they are enchanted by his vibes
September 25, 2025 at 1:10 AM
inside me there are two wolves
one is dying to see the eyeball monster burrow into this guy's head
the other panics when he is in peril because they are enchanted by his vibes
one is dying to see the eyeball monster burrow into this guy's head
the other panics when he is in peril because they are enchanted by his vibes
stop screaming, Lorraine, we all know you've seen this shit before
August 29, 2025 at 2:11 AM
stop screaming, Lorraine, we all know you've seen this shit before
at this point in their career the Warrens should not be afraid of ghosts anymore
August 29, 2025 at 2:10 AM
at this point in their career the Warrens should not be afraid of ghosts anymore
currently watching Nathan For You with pure intentions and zero lust in my heart for this strange little man
a man in a suit and red tie making a funny face
ALT: a man in a suit and red tie making a funny face
media.tenor.com
August 29, 2025 at 1:49 AM
currently watching Nathan For You with pure intentions and zero lust in my heart for this strange little man
if Cracker Barrel changed its logo before the internet went to shit:
"does the Cracker Barrel sign look different or is it just me?"
"I dunno"
"I think it used to have a guy on it or something"
"yeah I think there was a guy at some point"
"huh"
"yup"
"does the Cracker Barrel sign look different or is it just me?"
"I dunno"
"I think it used to have a guy on it or something"
"yeah I think there was a guy at some point"
"huh"
"yup"
August 28, 2025 at 2:20 AM
if Cracker Barrel changed its logo before the internet went to shit:
"does the Cracker Barrel sign look different or is it just me?"
"I dunno"
"I think it used to have a guy on it or something"
"yeah I think there was a guy at some point"
"huh"
"yup"
"does the Cracker Barrel sign look different or is it just me?"
"I dunno"
"I think it used to have a guy on it or something"
"yeah I think there was a guy at some point"
"huh"
"yup"
my cat probably gets tired of me saying "hey fat guy where's your little coat?" every time I see him but that's his problem because he hasn't learned how to talk yet
August 21, 2025 at 1:29 AM
my cat probably gets tired of me saying "hey fat guy where's your little coat?" every time I see him but that's his problem because he hasn't learned how to talk yet
me when I start a movie and see the Bloody Disgusting logo
a woman in a blue shirt is looking at a man in a suit .
ALT: a woman in a blue shirt is looking at a man in a suit .
media.tenor.com
August 21, 2025 at 12:50 AM
me when I start a movie and see the Bloody Disgusting logo
I'd like to take a moment to voice my appreciation for Ryan Kruger's Street Trash remake
August 21, 2025 at 12:47 AM
I'd like to take a moment to voice my appreciation for Ryan Kruger's Street Trash remake
me: did you see the pic of the Toxic Avenger's dong!?
spouse: no
me: do you wanna?
spouse: no
spouse: no
me: do you wanna?
spouse: no
August 16, 2025 at 1:26 AM
me: did you see the pic of the Toxic Avenger's dong!?
spouse: no
me: do you wanna?
spouse: no
spouse: no
me: do you wanna?
spouse: no
people who make TV shows, I am begging you to bump up the brightness by like 6%
August 15, 2025 at 12:17 AM
people who make TV shows, I am begging you to bump up the brightness by like 6%