at the new year’s after party i had a complete meltdown after taking an accidentally huge portion of ketamine and the extended club mix of “good for me” by above & beyond came up in the spotify playlist we were listening to through the night. i lost control of my emotions so quickly and reflected

the only thing i ate yesterday were 12 grapes and garnishes from new year’s cocktails. starting the year off strong.

I made the mistake of using dog shampoo & now I feel like such a good girl…

having a very “your soulmate is at the afters” moment

my mom calls me on her way home from the barn and i know it’s the only way to prevent her from actively using her phone while she drives

nothing makes me feel more powerful when the people around me adopt my vocal stims.

medicated bipolar means i get mania lite and it’s great for starting home improvement projects and social obligations, self loathing and anxiety is great for finishing home improvement projects.

something about the weather dropping below 65 degrees makes my body need a hug as direly as needing air to breathe and food to eat and water to drink.

the short of it is the company i keep won’t make me feel excluded or make me feel like i’m a burden.

while i’m procrastinating getting ready, i lay on the couch just wanting some comfort. for my head to be pat. to be given permission to put off getting ready just a little bit longer.