The Nato Tomato
@natotomato.bsky.social
"15 minute city" "walkable neighborhood" you are a fool, I'm moving to the Writer's Block. All my coolest friends are there and they drink every night
December 17, 2025 at 12:00 PM
"15 minute city" "walkable neighborhood" you are a fool, I'm moving to the Writer's Block. All my coolest friends are there and they drink every night
"Does this media pander to my biases or is it objectively good?" is a question I never ask, due to my being immune to propaganda
December 16, 2025 at 3:11 PM
"Does this media pander to my biases or is it objectively good?" is a question I never ask, due to my being immune to propaganda
Absentmindedly pulling toilet paper fibers off my privates until I notice I finished my own bottom surgery
November 12, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Absentmindedly pulling toilet paper fibers off my privates until I notice I finished my own bottom surgery
New PB on my Any% All Glitches Speedcum! Ball clip and ejac RNG manip were ultimately what got me under the 3min mark. VOD incoming for anybody who missed the stream.
October 28, 2025 at 10:53 AM
New PB on my Any% All Glitches Speedcum! Ball clip and ejac RNG manip were ultimately what got me under the 3min mark. VOD incoming for anybody who missed the stream.
Kill me
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
September 12, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Kill me
In terms of aura, what is the difference between a chair in a clothing store for partners of shoppers and a cuck chair
August 24, 2025 at 7:48 PM
In terms of aura, what is the difference between a chair in a clothing store for partners of shoppers and a cuck chair
Listening to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social's episode on Mickey7, with one unanswered question burning in the back of my mind. What's the name of the dog snoring on mic??
August 22, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Listening to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social's episode on Mickey7, with one unanswered question burning in the back of my mind. What's the name of the dog snoring on mic??
Trying to start a business but my only assets are a decent yeast culture and a willingness to appropriate culture. All my friends tell me this idea is a naan-starter.
July 21, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Trying to start a business but my only assets are a decent yeast culture and a willingness to appropriate culture. All my friends tell me this idea is a naan-starter.
New position open near you!
Childcare Attendant
at Omelas, Inc.
Childcare Attendant
at Omelas, Inc.
July 6, 2025 at 3:54 PM
New position open near you!
Childcare Attendant
at Omelas, Inc.
Childcare Attendant
at Omelas, Inc.
They should invent a charger my cat doesn't want to eat
June 21, 2025 at 1:49 PM
They should invent a charger my cat doesn't want to eat
After hurling all my sci-fi short stories into the publishing ether, it's a coffeeshop AU that gets me in the door 😎.
Thanks again to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social for supporting this newborn author!
Thanks again to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social for supporting this newborn author!
Happy Solstice! Issue 3 of Solstitia, our biannual #zine celebrating all things genre, is out! Our theme this issue was “coffeeshop!AU”
You can buy the epub and pdf for $3 from our Patreon: www.patreon.com/fictionfansp...
#booksky 💙📚
You can buy the epub and pdf for $3 from our Patreon: www.patreon.com/fictionfansp...
#booksky 💙📚
Buy “Solstitia Issue 3” on Patreon | Fiction Fans
Check out Fiction Fans’s shop on Patreon
www.patreon.com
June 21, 2025 at 12:49 PM
After hurling all my sci-fi short stories into the publishing ether, it's a coffeeshop AU that gets me in the door 😎.
Thanks again to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social for supporting this newborn author!
Thanks again to @fictionfanspod.bsky.social for supporting this newborn author!
"You're only ever 4 seconds away from peeing your pants. Not many people think about that. Just 4 seconds between any normal day and a ruined week."
Tired Froyo employee - "Sir, both managers confirmed the machine doesn't have a 'Turbo Mode'."
Tired Froyo employee - "Sir, both managers confirmed the machine doesn't have a 'Turbo Mode'."
May 31, 2025 at 3:00 PM
"You're only ever 4 seconds away from peeing your pants. Not many people think about that. Just 4 seconds between any normal day and a ruined week."
Tired Froyo employee - "Sir, both managers confirmed the machine doesn't have a 'Turbo Mode'."
Tired Froyo employee - "Sir, both managers confirmed the machine doesn't have a 'Turbo Mode'."
Showing the cops my phone: so these are my funniest skeets, as you can see I get a ton of engagement from all my followers.
The cop sliding a note to his partner that just says "SCHIZO": Of course, kid. What did you say your dosage was again?
The cop sliding a note to his partner that just says "SCHIZO": Of course, kid. What did you say your dosage was again?
May 28, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Showing the cops my phone: so these are my funniest skeets, as you can see I get a ton of engagement from all my followers.
The cop sliding a note to his partner that just says "SCHIZO": Of course, kid. What did you say your dosage was again?
The cop sliding a note to his partner that just says "SCHIZO": Of course, kid. What did you say your dosage was again?
Trans man who feels like he can't fully transition until he kills a big enough fish. Call him Captain AFAB. Is that anything
May 13, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Trans man who feels like he can't fully transition until he kills a big enough fish. Call him Captain AFAB. Is that anything
Coworker - Oh yeah, and dental. Gotta have dental.
Me, changing my title to "Vibe Manager" in our union contract - Don't worry, it's all in there.
Me, changing my title to "Vibe Manager" in our union contract - Don't worry, it's all in there.
April 15, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Coworker - Oh yeah, and dental. Gotta have dental.
Me, changing my title to "Vibe Manager" in our union contract - Don't worry, it's all in there.
Me, changing my title to "Vibe Manager" in our union contract - Don't worry, it's all in there.
Whenever somebody complains about my attention span I pull a little laminated card out of my wallet that just says "sunk cost fallacy"
April 3, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Whenever somebody complains about my attention span I pull a little laminated card out of my wallet that just says "sunk cost fallacy"
My only regret is that I have but one ban to earn from this discord server
April 3, 2025 at 1:55 AM
My only regret is that I have but one ban to earn from this discord server
Why do Reese's have that little wrapper lingerie on under the foil. I do not want foreplay, get in my mouth
April 1, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Why do Reese's have that little wrapper lingerie on under the foil. I do not want foreplay, get in my mouth
"But black people couldn't ___ back then, it's historically inaccurate"
And? Why would we let the discrimination of the past affect our media today? Have you heard of this thing called a better world?
And? Why would we let the discrimination of the past affect our media today? Have you heard of this thing called a better world?
March 18, 2025 at 11:15 AM
"But black people couldn't ___ back then, it's historically inaccurate"
And? Why would we let the discrimination of the past affect our media today? Have you heard of this thing called a better world?
And? Why would we let the discrimination of the past affect our media today? Have you heard of this thing called a better world?
Listen, I'm not upset. No, really, it's all good. Oh, that healthbar filling up? I'm just cold, that's not about you. We're all good. Idk where that music is coming from. Let's just talk about this. That door closes on its own, that's not me
February 23, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Listen, I'm not upset. No, really, it's all good. Oh, that healthbar filling up? I'm just cold, that's not about you. We're all good. Idk where that music is coming from. Let's just talk about this. That door closes on its own, that's not me
My cat, GPT, finishes his breakfast and pukes on the floor. He
doesn’t consult the blockchain, so my Ethereum-mining Roomba
has trouble finding it. He ignores his auto-petter and AI-generated images of mice, coming to me for attention instead. Doesn’t he know
that this is the worst it’ll ever be?
doesn’t consult the blockchain, so my Ethereum-mining Roomba
has trouble finding it. He ignores his auto-petter and AI-generated images of mice, coming to me for attention instead. Doesn’t he know
that this is the worst it’ll ever be?
February 13, 2025 at 8:01 PM
My cat, GPT, finishes his breakfast and pukes on the floor. He
doesn’t consult the blockchain, so my Ethereum-mining Roomba
has trouble finding it. He ignores his auto-petter and AI-generated images of mice, coming to me for attention instead. Doesn’t he know
that this is the worst it’ll ever be?
doesn’t consult the blockchain, so my Ethereum-mining Roomba
has trouble finding it. He ignores his auto-petter and AI-generated images of mice, coming to me for attention instead. Doesn’t he know
that this is the worst it’ll ever be?
CEO of Sweetgreen: You know every food a North American has eaten in their life?
Me, a simple rube: yeah?
CEO: we don't have that. Pick a keen-wah
Me, a simple rube: yeah?
CEO: we don't have that. Pick a keen-wah
February 2, 2025 at 3:06 AM
CEO of Sweetgreen: You know every food a North American has eaten in their life?
Me, a simple rube: yeah?
CEO: we don't have that. Pick a keen-wah
Me, a simple rube: yeah?
CEO: we don't have that. Pick a keen-wah