professor snootle
@naomifullbloom.bsky.social
The Kelly of your nightmares
Pinned
I just need to feel a man hold my face gently between his big rough hands before he bends down, violently shakes my head, and screams in my face “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU”
I think more people should be shot in the neck
December 11, 2025 at 5:39 PM
I think more people should be shot in the neck
Kind of a crazy coincidence that Jack Skellington’s last name was “skellington”. Because if you look at him he almost looks like a skeleton, which sounds similar.
December 11, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Kind of a crazy coincidence that Jack Skellington’s last name was “skellington”. Because if you look at him he almost looks like a skeleton, which sounds similar.
Where there’s a curd there’s a whey
December 2, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Where there’s a curd there’s a whey
Yesterday a lady at work told me I was cute and said that if anyone says different, they’re just haters. lol okay ma’am why do you think people are insulting my looks 😭
November 25, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Yesterday a lady at work told me I was cute and said that if anyone says different, they’re just haters. lol okay ma’am why do you think people are insulting my looks 😭
Ran out of alcohol so I’m cleaning my bong with Worcestershire
November 25, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Ran out of alcohol so I’m cleaning my bong with Worcestershire
They should make a Darth Vader origin story. Nobody knows anything about him and where he came from.
November 14, 2025 at 8:14 AM
They should make a Darth Vader origin story. Nobody knows anything about him and where he came from.
AI got me googling shit like “bunnies kissing REAL no AI please”
November 11, 2025 at 5:28 AM
AI got me googling shit like “bunnies kissing REAL no AI please”
Just realized I don’t know who the king or queen of England is right now. Probably not that important anyway.
October 29, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Just realized I don’t know who the king or queen of England is right now. Probably not that important anyway.
Need to do my makeup for work but I can’t stop crying this morning
October 28, 2025 at 11:44 AM
Need to do my makeup for work but I can’t stop crying this morning
I know I’m doing good in my brain when I’m literally not jealous of anyone for anything
October 21, 2025 at 4:22 AM
I know I’m doing good in my brain when I’m literally not jealous of anyone for anything
Bone Tomahawk is paced exactly like a DnD quest
October 16, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Bone Tomahawk is paced exactly like a DnD quest
You know that phrase that you have to choose a time to rest or your body will choose it for you? My body has chosen. Now I die.
October 16, 2025 at 4:21 AM
You know that phrase that you have to choose a time to rest or your body will choose it for you? My body has chosen. Now I die.
Why would I want my dog dewormed? The worms add value
October 12, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Why would I want my dog dewormed? The worms add value
Is it hard to get a prescription corndog? Do I have to see a specialist?
October 12, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Is it hard to get a prescription corndog? Do I have to see a specialist?
Considering resigning in disgrace
October 7, 2025 at 11:39 PM
Considering resigning in disgrace
Humans should have stopped innovating after we figured out indoor plumbing. That was the sweet spot.
October 7, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Humans should have stopped innovating after we figured out indoor plumbing. That was the sweet spot.
Really grateful I don’t know who Morgan Wallen is
October 4, 2025 at 6:58 AM
Really grateful I don’t know who Morgan Wallen is
Inside me there are no wolves. There is the pig from the Garfield and Friends cartoon show and also the entire Wikipedia article for Albert Fish.
October 3, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Inside me there are no wolves. There is the pig from the Garfield and Friends cartoon show and also the entire Wikipedia article for Albert Fish.
The body not tea. Face card has declined. And also I’m stupid.
October 1, 2025 at 5:26 AM
The body not tea. Face card has declined. And also I’m stupid.
Now that I don’t have a cat I want a BABY
September 24, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Now that I don’t have a cat I want a BABY
First date idea: I give you lice
September 14, 2025 at 4:52 PM
First date idea: I give you lice
I’ve lost 32 pounds this summer and literally no one has noticed. What the fuck man.
September 8, 2025 at 5:44 PM
I’ve lost 32 pounds this summer and literally no one has noticed. What the fuck man.
The REAL reason you don’t use your pets name as your password is because when your pet dies you have to type their name 400 times a day at your stupid retail job to fix payroll and do the store order and approve large returns and put in tickets and call IT and log in to the inventory devices
September 5, 2025 at 1:19 AM
The REAL reason you don’t use your pets name as your password is because when your pet dies you have to type their name 400 times a day at your stupid retail job to fix payroll and do the store order and approve large returns and put in tickets and call IT and log in to the inventory devices
Keep waking up crying
September 3, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Keep waking up crying