Midsomer Murders plots
@moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
The continuing (and randomly generated) adventures of Britain's most murderous county.
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
The village rascal is found quilted to death. Suspicion falls on Little Auburn’s cold-hearted meteorologists, deeply concerned that Midsomer Murders plots actually written by this bot might threaten the Magic Old Tennis Court.
February 6, 2026 at 9:04 PM
The village rascal is found quilted to death. Suspicion falls on Little Auburn’s cold-hearted meteorologists, deeply concerned that Midsomer Murders plots actually written by this bot might threaten the Magic Old Tennis Court.
A horse podcaster is found ferried to the Isle of the Dead by The Boatman. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wyvern’s hideous, dripping spectre, frightened that a new pandemic might threaten ChatGPT (Mansplaining as a Service).
February 6, 2026 at 4:05 PM
A horse podcaster is found ferried to the Isle of the Dead by The Boatman. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wyvern’s hideous, dripping spectre, frightened that a new pandemic might threaten ChatGPT (Mansplaining as a Service).
A recovering cheese addict is found dead from the effects of eating too many Easter eggs. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Cicely’s chief medical officer, deeply concerned that charity drinking games of pub locals might threaten to burn every catalogue of London’s inter-dimensional gateways.
February 6, 2026 at 11:04 AM
A recovering cheese addict is found dead from the effects of eating too many Easter eggs. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Cicely’s chief medical officer, deeply concerned that charity drinking games of pub locals might threaten to burn every catalogue of London’s inter-dimensional gateways.
A reclusive Russian gentleman is found locked in a freezer. Suspicion falls on Badger’s Drift’s New Age commune, disturbed that a busload of Daleks might threaten supplies of Cornish pasties.
February 6, 2026 at 6:05 AM
A reclusive Russian gentleman is found locked in a freezer. Suspicion falls on Badger’s Drift’s New Age commune, disturbed that a busload of Daleks might threaten supplies of Cornish pasties.
A mysophobic epidemiologist is found dead following a sword duel. Suspicion falls on Bachelors Bump’s ennui society, worried that meddling ornithologists might threaten agricultural exhibitions in the country.
February 6, 2026 at 1:04 AM
A mysophobic epidemiologist is found dead following a sword duel. Suspicion falls on Bachelors Bump’s ennui society, worried that meddling ornithologists might threaten agricultural exhibitions in the country.
A solicitor who charges by the millisecond is found on a spike in the middle of Causton. Suspicion falls on Barnstable’s visiting East London gangster, frightened that the cultural and economic hegemony of Causton might threaten the local manor.
February 5, 2026 at 8:04 PM
A solicitor who charges by the millisecond is found on a spike in the middle of Causton. Suspicion falls on Barnstable’s visiting East London gangster, frightened that the cultural and economic hegemony of Causton might threaten the local manor.
An unpopular fitter is found drowned at the local swimming baths. Suspicion falls on Gumpton Marsh’s Mosley appreciation society, obsessed that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten the annual cheese festival.
February 5, 2026 at 3:05 PM
An unpopular fitter is found drowned at the local swimming baths. Suspicion falls on Gumpton Marsh’s Mosley appreciation society, obsessed that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten the annual cheese festival.
A mesmerising misanthrope is found drugged with codeine tablets and suffocated with a pillow. Suspicion falls on South Horton’s Barnaby Appreciation Society, frightened that a missing Masonic ring might threaten England's tea appreciation society.
February 5, 2026 at 10:05 AM
A mesmerising misanthrope is found drugged with codeine tablets and suffocated with a pillow. Suspicion falls on South Horton’s Barnaby Appreciation Society, frightened that a missing Masonic ring might threaten England's tea appreciation society.
A roller skiing fanatic is found dead after a tragic masturbation ’accident’. Suspicion falls on Stratford-under-Avon’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, deeply concerned that DIY genetic testing might threaten to end the price fixing scheme of the local florists.
February 5, 2026 at 5:04 AM
A roller skiing fanatic is found dead after a tragic masturbation ’accident’. Suspicion falls on Stratford-under-Avon’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, deeply concerned that DIY genetic testing might threaten to end the price fixing scheme of the local florists.
A local sculptor is found minced into a madras. Suspicion falls on Finchmere’s black-leather-clad digital photographers, deeply concerned that train station closures might threaten England’s green and pleasant land.
February 5, 2026 at 12:04 AM
A local sculptor is found minced into a madras. Suspicion falls on Finchmere’s black-leather-clad digital photographers, deeply concerned that train station closures might threaten England’s green and pleasant land.
A local plebeian is found dead in the street, and starved. Suspicion falls on Devington’s poached eggs society, frightened that badger culling might threaten the opening of a chemical industry museum.
February 4, 2026 at 7:05 PM
A local plebeian is found dead in the street, and starved. Suspicion falls on Devington’s poached eggs society, frightened that badger culling might threaten the opening of a chemical industry museum.
A neurotic Jungian is found drowned at the bottom of the mill pond. Suspicion falls on Titley Close’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, confused that pig farm effluent might threaten to interrupt the Miss Potato and Lamb judging.
February 4, 2026 at 2:05 PM
A neurotic Jungian is found drowned at the bottom of the mill pond. Suspicion falls on Titley Close’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, confused that pig farm effluent might threaten to interrupt the Miss Potato and Lamb judging.
A grammatosimophobic philatelist is found drowned in a well. Suspicion falls on Woking’s curate, angry that historical documents in rubber bands might threaten local power structures.
February 4, 2026 at 9:05 AM
A grammatosimophobic philatelist is found drowned in a well. Suspicion falls on Woking’s curate, angry that historical documents in rubber bands might threaten local power structures.
An overpaid HM Revenue & Customs worker is found burnt to death in a caravan. Suspicion falls on High Littleton’s chapter of the Ayn Rand society, deeply concerned that a disturbingly high Gini coefficient might threaten the end of the Oxford English Dictionary.
February 4, 2026 at 4:05 AM
An overpaid HM Revenue & Customs worker is found burnt to death in a caravan. Suspicion falls on High Littleton’s chapter of the Ayn Rand society, deeply concerned that a disturbingly high Gini coefficient might threaten the end of the Oxford English Dictionary.
The local stranger is found ambushed outside the brewhouse and stabbed to death. Suspicion falls on White Ox Mead’s treasurer of the submarine club, deeply concerned that pig farm effluent might threaten bidet sales.
February 3, 2026 at 11:05 PM
The local stranger is found ambushed outside the brewhouse and stabbed to death. Suspicion falls on White Ox Mead’s treasurer of the submarine club, deeply concerned that pig farm effluent might threaten bidet sales.
A Boris Johnson impersonator is found bled to death from twin puncture wounds in the neck from a carving fork. Suspicion falls on Rough Riding’s medieval reenactment society, worried that someone who doesn’t yet know they’re actually the killer’s daughter might threaten the pheasant hunt.
February 3, 2026 at 6:04 PM
A Boris Johnson impersonator is found bled to death from twin puncture wounds in the neck from a carving fork. Suspicion falls on Rough Riding’s medieval reenactment society, worried that someone who doesn’t yet know they’re actually the killer’s daughter might threaten the pheasant hunt.
The village rascal is found bashed for six with a cricket bat. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Shallows’ infosec community, disturbed that a growing number of mysterious deaths might threaten to burn every catalogue of London’s inter-dimensional gateways.
February 3, 2026 at 1:05 PM
The village rascal is found bashed for six with a cricket bat. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Shallows’ infosec community, disturbed that a growing number of mysterious deaths might threaten to burn every catalogue of London’s inter-dimensional gateways.
A local busybody is found booted into eternity. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s classic and modified car club, obsessed that train station closures might threaten the high street streetscape.
February 3, 2026 at 8:05 AM
A local busybody is found booted into eternity. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s classic and modified car club, obsessed that train station closures might threaten the high street streetscape.
A former Prime Minister is found in a pit filled with concrete, with a tin box resting on the top. Suspicion falls on Morton Shallows’ cult leader, obsessed that dangerous liaisons on a croquet lawn might threaten Donald Trump Jr's sponsorship of Craig Revell-Horwood's rescue dog.
February 3, 2026 at 3:05 AM
A former Prime Minister is found in a pit filled with concrete, with a tin box resting on the top. Suspicion falls on Morton Shallows’ cult leader, obsessed that dangerous liaisons on a croquet lawn might threaten Donald Trump Jr's sponsorship of Craig Revell-Horwood's rescue dog.
An engineer who believes he’s also an expert in virology is found dead wearing tights on the upper body, a plastic raincoat, and a diving suit. Suspicion falls on Minge Lane’s Blue Peter fan club, angry that scrap metal merchants might threaten cats.
February 2, 2026 at 10:04 PM
An engineer who believes he’s also an expert in virology is found dead wearing tights on the upper body, a plastic raincoat, and a diving suit. Suspicion falls on Minge Lane’s Blue Peter fan club, angry that scrap metal merchants might threaten cats.
An unhygienic soap maker is found crushed up in a glass recycling centre. Suspicion falls on Lower Crosby’s newly formed Flat Moon society, frightened that class warfare writ large might threaten the old inn.
February 2, 2026 at 5:05 PM
An unhygienic soap maker is found crushed up in a glass recycling centre. Suspicion falls on Lower Crosby’s newly formed Flat Moon society, frightened that class warfare writ large might threaten the old inn.
A local travel writer is found desiccated by magnesium perchlorate. Suspicion falls on Lower Pampling’s green society, worried that scrap metal merchants might threaten local hedge maze bylaws.
February 2, 2026 at 12:05 PM
A local travel writer is found desiccated by magnesium perchlorate. Suspicion falls on Lower Pampling’s green society, worried that scrap metal merchants might threaten local hedge maze bylaws.
A local hedgehog rescue activist is found crushed by gym equipment. Suspicion falls on Midsomer-in-the-Marsh’s Pigeon Fancier Club, worried that a missing Masonic ring might threaten DCI Barnaby’s future as a detective.
February 2, 2026 at 7:05 AM
A local hedgehog rescue activist is found crushed by gym equipment. Suspicion falls on Midsomer-in-the-Marsh’s Pigeon Fancier Club, worried that a missing Masonic ring might threaten DCI Barnaby’s future as a detective.
A violinist who loves playing in B♭ harmonic minor is found eviscerated with a bronze-age sword. Suspicion falls on Nomansland’s plucky gnome weaver of beribboned lavender wands, frightened that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten the Museum of English Rural Life.
February 2, 2026 at 2:05 AM
A violinist who loves playing in B♭ harmonic minor is found eviscerated with a bronze-age sword. Suspicion falls on Nomansland’s plucky gnome weaver of beribboned lavender wands, frightened that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten the Museum of English Rural Life.
Midsomer County’s only vegan butcher is found in pieces in barrels of acid. Suspicion falls on Beavers Dune’s medieval reenactment society, angry that the town’s surplus steak and kidney puddings might threaten the closure of a celebrity-run surgery.
February 1, 2026 at 9:05 PM
Midsomer County’s only vegan butcher is found in pieces in barrels of acid. Suspicion falls on Beavers Dune’s medieval reenactment society, angry that the town’s surplus steak and kidney puddings might threaten the closure of a celebrity-run surgery.