Midsomer Murders plots
@moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
The continuing (and randomly generated) adventures of Britain's most murderous county.
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
A wildlife reserve volunteer is found sliced into pieces with a bread knife. Suspicion falls on Weston-lesser-Mare’s rusted on Labour supporter, deeply concerned that redevelopment on the land of a down-on-his-luck aristocrat might threaten to expose a secret network of WWII tunnels under Causton.
February 13, 2026 at 6:04 PM
A wildlife reserve volunteer is found sliced into pieces with a bread knife. Suspicion falls on Weston-lesser-Mare’s rusted on Labour supporter, deeply concerned that redevelopment on the land of a down-on-his-luck aristocrat might threaten to expose a secret network of WWII tunnels under Causton.
A Blairite with long term memory loss is found with the innards sucked out by a vacuum juice evaporator. Suspicion falls on Little Coxton’s misunderstood mailman, confused that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten to make the village do the time warp again.
February 13, 2026 at 1:04 PM
A Blairite with long term memory loss is found with the innards sucked out by a vacuum juice evaporator. Suspicion falls on Little Coxton’s misunderstood mailman, confused that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten to make the village do the time warp again.
A chilled out yoga instructor is found flattened by a giant toadstool. Suspicion falls on Broughton’s exclusive Fish Finger Society, worried that the decline in furniture manufacture might threaten the end of privacy online.
February 13, 2026 at 8:04 AM
A chilled out yoga instructor is found flattened by a giant toadstool. Suspicion falls on Broughton’s exclusive Fish Finger Society, worried that the decline in furniture manufacture might threaten the end of privacy online.
A local homeopath is found sliced into small pieces with a jigsaw. Suspicion falls on Bishop’s Itchington’s Neighbourhood Watch Alliance, confused that BBC casting directors might threaten local power structures.
February 13, 2026 at 3:04 AM
A local homeopath is found sliced into small pieces with a jigsaw. Suspicion falls on Bishop’s Itchington’s Neighbourhood Watch Alliance, confused that BBC casting directors might threaten local power structures.
A tychophobic statistician is found with a knitting needle placed expertly through the carotid artery. Suspicion falls on Kingswood Country’s angry old-age pensioner, obsessed that off-peak bus services might threaten to call Cthulhu from the depths.
February 12, 2026 at 10:04 PM
A tychophobic statistician is found with a knitting needle placed expertly through the carotid artery. Suspicion falls on Kingswood Country’s angry old-age pensioner, obsessed that off-peak bus services might threaten to call Cthulhu from the depths.
A local DJ is found cancelled. Suspicion falls on High Littleton’s black-leather-clad digital photographers, worried that the theft of a Burmese bell might threaten the weightlifting regime of local ministers.
February 12, 2026 at 5:05 PM
A local DJ is found cancelled. Suspicion falls on High Littleton’s black-leather-clad digital photographers, worried that the theft of a Burmese bell might threaten the weightlifting regime of local ministers.
A mute castrato is found as the life of the party despite being dead several days. Suspicion falls on Minge Lane’s cold-hearted meteorologists, obsessed that off-peak bus services might threaten to turn England into a nation of coffee drinkers.
February 12, 2026 at 12:05 PM
A mute castrato is found as the life of the party despite being dead several days. Suspicion falls on Minge Lane’s cold-hearted meteorologists, obsessed that off-peak bus services might threaten to turn England into a nation of coffee drinkers.
The disinherited son of a Marquess is found strangled with the cord of his own metal detector. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Hollow’s chief medical officer, disturbed that sea level rise might threaten to dredge up events from twenty-five years ago.
February 12, 2026 at 7:04 AM
The disinherited son of a Marquess is found strangled with the cord of his own metal detector. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Hollow’s chief medical officer, disturbed that sea level rise might threaten to dredge up events from twenty-five years ago.
The second reviewer of a philosophy paper is found bored to death by formulaic TV series. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Pastures’ community-spirited verger, deeply concerned that Latter-Day postwomen might threaten to interrupt a performance of John Cage's 4'33".
February 12, 2026 at 2:04 AM
The second reviewer of a philosophy paper is found bored to death by formulaic TV series. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Pastures’ community-spirited verger, deeply concerned that Latter-Day postwomen might threaten to interrupt a performance of John Cage's 4'33".
A popular marine biologist is found strangled with the cord of his own metal detector. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wyvern’s scarecrows, frightened that low vitamin D levels in vampires might threaten to turn a slightly neurotic Sykes into a savage killer terrier.
February 11, 2026 at 9:05 PM
A popular marine biologist is found strangled with the cord of his own metal detector. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wyvern’s scarecrows, frightened that low vitamin D levels in vampires might threaten to turn a slightly neurotic Sykes into a savage killer terrier.
A local mushroom hunter is found pushed into a drier and spun to death. Suspicion falls on Little Malton’s ennui society, frightened that rising flood levels might threaten cats.
February 11, 2026 at 4:05 PM
A local mushroom hunter is found pushed into a drier and spun to death. Suspicion falls on Little Malton’s ennui society, frightened that rising flood levels might threaten cats.
A popular marine biologist is found with a gunshot wound on Porlock Hill. Suspicion falls on Midsomer St. Claire’s daguerreotype club, worried that all-encompassing whiteness might threaten to reveal that the moon is not made of cheese.
February 11, 2026 at 11:04 AM
A popular marine biologist is found with a gunshot wound on Porlock Hill. Suspicion falls on Midsomer St. Claire’s daguerreotype club, worried that all-encompassing whiteness might threaten to reveal that the moon is not made of cheese.
An embattled councillor is found painfully sliced up by a knife disguised as a baguette. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Magna’s chief medical officer, angry that a bitter feud between local academics might threaten deliveries of organic vegetables.
February 11, 2026 at 6:04 AM
An embattled councillor is found painfully sliced up by a knife disguised as a baguette. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Magna’s chief medical officer, angry that a bitter feud between local academics might threaten deliveries of organic vegetables.
A grower of trophy-sized onions is found crushed in a wine press. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Blighty’s New Age commune, angry that a proposed zoo might threaten the village’s remaining sourdough starter.
February 11, 2026 at 1:04 AM
A grower of trophy-sized onions is found crushed in a wine press. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Blighty’s New Age commune, angry that a proposed zoo might threaten the village’s remaining sourdough starter.
A geeky soprano singer is found thrown naked into a 200-degree sterilizer. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s spotted dick baker’s society, confused that the decline in furniture manufacture might threaten to overshadow the sheepdog trials.
February 10, 2026 at 8:04 PM
A geeky soprano singer is found thrown naked into a 200-degree sterilizer. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s spotted dick baker’s society, confused that the decline in furniture manufacture might threaten to overshadow the sheepdog trials.
A pharmaceutical company CEO is found minced into a madras. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s curate, upset that the new deer sanctuary might threaten to ruin Joyce Barnaby’s casserole from one of Delia’s cookbooks.
February 10, 2026 at 3:04 PM
A pharmaceutical company CEO is found minced into a madras. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s curate, upset that the new deer sanctuary might threaten to ruin Joyce Barnaby’s casserole from one of Delia’s cookbooks.
The local magistrate is found dead in the garage of a local public house. Suspicion falls on Lower Warden’s misunderstood mailman, confused that red signage on a tool shop might threaten a sticky end to Causton’s jam festival.
February 10, 2026 at 10:04 AM
The local magistrate is found dead in the garage of a local public house. Suspicion falls on Lower Warden’s misunderstood mailman, confused that red signage on a tool shop might threaten a sticky end to Causton’s jam festival.
A software developer who deploys changes on a Friday is found oozing out of a cash dispenser. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Chettham’s Mebyon Kernow members, upset that bad takes by Quillette might threaten otters.
February 10, 2026 at 5:04 AM
A software developer who deploys changes on a Friday is found oozing out of a cash dispenser. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Chettham’s Mebyon Kernow members, upset that bad takes by Quillette might threaten otters.
A #QAnon conspiracy theorist is found crushed by gym equipment. Suspicion falls on Monks Barton’s ghost, confused that failure to wear face masks might threaten Europe’s most radical meat-based marketing board.
February 10, 2026 at 12:04 AM
A #QAnon conspiracy theorist is found crushed by gym equipment. Suspicion falls on Monks Barton’s ghost, confused that failure to wear face masks might threaten Europe’s most radical meat-based marketing board.
A local mayor is found mauled by a rabid badger. Suspicion falls on Ferne Basset’s retired sunset watchers, angry that Japanese knotweed might threaten nuclear annihilation.
February 9, 2026 at 7:05 PM
A local mayor is found mauled by a rabid badger. Suspicion falls on Ferne Basset’s retired sunset watchers, angry that Japanese knotweed might threaten nuclear annihilation.
A pornography baron is found stabbed during a brothel scuffle. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s genetics society, disturbed that a high turnover of diving judging board members might threaten the Midsomer Luxury Villas.
February 9, 2026 at 2:04 PM
A pornography baron is found stabbed during a brothel scuffle. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s genetics society, disturbed that a high turnover of diving judging board members might threaten the Midsomer Luxury Villas.
A controversial barrister is found thrown out of a double decker bus. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Newton’s Midsomer Murders castoffs, disturbed that private broadcaster bias might threaten to inform the Daily Fail that cancel culture is just criticism.
February 9, 2026 at 9:05 AM
A controversial barrister is found thrown out of a double decker bus. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Newton’s Midsomer Murders castoffs, disturbed that private broadcaster bias might threaten to inform the Daily Fail that cancel culture is just criticism.
A so-called comedian who thinks blackface was once funny and acceptable is found hanged from a beam in a barn whilst sedated with barbituates. Suspicion falls on Beavers Dune’s impetuous young heir, obsessed that owls might threaten guided tours of the local abattoir.
February 9, 2026 at 4:04 AM
A so-called comedian who thinks blackface was once funny and acceptable is found hanged from a beam in a barn whilst sedated with barbituates. Suspicion falls on Beavers Dune’s impetuous young heir, obsessed that owls might threaten guided tours of the local abattoir.
A local astronomer is found drowned in milkshakes. Suspicion falls on Binwell’s patron saint, confused that changes to the mix of botanicals in the local gin might threaten quacks in the supply chain of toy duck tea infusers.
February 8, 2026 at 11:04 PM
A local astronomer is found drowned in milkshakes. Suspicion falls on Binwell’s patron saint, confused that changes to the mix of botanicals in the local gin might threaten quacks in the supply chain of toy duck tea infusers.
A local sculptor is found murdered with bottles of frozen moisturiser hurled from a trebuchet. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Worthy’s Stitcher Society, disturbed that Latter-Day postwomen might threaten to alter the pudding recipe.
February 8, 2026 at 6:04 PM
A local sculptor is found murdered with bottles of frozen moisturiser hurled from a trebuchet. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Worthy’s Stitcher Society, disturbed that Latter-Day postwomen might threaten to alter the pudding recipe.