Midsomer Murders plots
@moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
The continuing (and randomly generated) adventures of Britain's most murderous county.
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
A controversial barrister is found thrown out of a double decker bus. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Newton’s Midsomer Murders castoffs, disturbed that private broadcaster bias might threaten to inform the Daily Fail that cancel culture is just criticism.
February 9, 2026 at 9:05 AM
A controversial barrister is found thrown out of a double decker bus. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Newton’s Midsomer Murders castoffs, disturbed that private broadcaster bias might threaten to inform the Daily Fail that cancel culture is just criticism.
A so-called comedian who thinks blackface was once funny and acceptable is found hanged from a beam in a barn whilst sedated with barbituates. Suspicion falls on Beavers Dune’s impetuous young heir, obsessed that owls might threaten guided tours of the local abattoir.
February 9, 2026 at 4:04 AM
A so-called comedian who thinks blackface was once funny and acceptable is found hanged from a beam in a barn whilst sedated with barbituates. Suspicion falls on Beavers Dune’s impetuous young heir, obsessed that owls might threaten guided tours of the local abattoir.
A local astronomer is found drowned in milkshakes. Suspicion falls on Binwell’s patron saint, confused that changes to the mix of botanicals in the local gin might threaten quacks in the supply chain of toy duck tea infusers.
February 8, 2026 at 11:04 PM
A local astronomer is found drowned in milkshakes. Suspicion falls on Binwell’s patron saint, confused that changes to the mix of botanicals in the local gin might threaten quacks in the supply chain of toy duck tea infusers.
A local sculptor is found murdered with bottles of frozen moisturiser hurled from a trebuchet. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Worthy’s Stitcher Society, disturbed that Latter-Day postwomen might threaten to alter the pudding recipe.
February 8, 2026 at 6:04 PM
A local sculptor is found murdered with bottles of frozen moisturiser hurled from a trebuchet. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Worthy’s Stitcher Society, disturbed that Latter-Day postwomen might threaten to alter the pudding recipe.
A Michelin chef who hates truffles is found beaten to death with a leg of pork. Suspicion falls on Milton’s Cross’ junior school teacher, obsessed that new vernacular might threaten workplace Anglo-Saxon literacy.
February 8, 2026 at 1:04 PM
A Michelin chef who hates truffles is found beaten to death with a leg of pork. Suspicion falls on Milton’s Cross’ junior school teacher, obsessed that new vernacular might threaten workplace Anglo-Saxon literacy.
An orphaned genealogist is found injected with deadly drugs. Suspicion falls on Acock Green’s two strange tattooed children found at the train station, confused that a new housing estate might threaten the biggest and most beautiful wisteria in the country.
February 8, 2026 at 8:04 AM
An orphaned genealogist is found injected with deadly drugs. Suspicion falls on Acock Green’s two strange tattooed children found at the train station, confused that a new housing estate might threaten the biggest and most beautiful wisteria in the country.
An elderly Batman fan is found with a three inches square piece of tripe blocking the wind-pipe. Suspicion falls on Nether Wallop’s bridge club, upset that lewd messages daubed in pigs blood inside a Tory peer’s house might threaten the lace tatting competition.
February 8, 2026 at 3:04 AM
An elderly Batman fan is found with a three inches square piece of tripe blocking the wind-pipe. Suspicion falls on Nether Wallop’s bridge club, upset that lewd messages daubed in pigs blood inside a Tory peer’s house might threaten the lace tatting competition.
The local viscount is found poisoned by an anthrax-laced IPA. Suspicion falls on Whitcombe Mallet’s shuttlecock appreciation society, confused that a nearby NATO airbase might threaten a rare plant found on the cricket pitch.
February 7, 2026 at 10:04 PM
The local viscount is found poisoned by an anthrax-laced IPA. Suspicion falls on Whitcombe Mallet’s shuttlecock appreciation society, confused that a nearby NATO airbase might threaten a rare plant found on the cricket pitch.
An undecided quantum information theorist is found chopped up and stuffed into a Conga drum. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Langley’s ice cream van driver, disturbed that Cuban music might threaten plans for a 24 hr murder mystery channel.
February 7, 2026 at 5:04 PM
An undecided quantum information theorist is found chopped up and stuffed into a Conga drum. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Langley’s ice cream van driver, disturbed that Cuban music might threaten plans for a 24 hr murder mystery channel.
A socially-inept Mastodon bot developer is found killed in a model village and tied down like Gulliver in Lilliput. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wellow’s cobblestone polisher, deeply concerned that badly-written antivirus software might threaten the closure of Midsomer’s largest artificial ski slope.
February 7, 2026 at 12:04 PM
A socially-inept Mastodon bot developer is found killed in a model village and tied down like Gulliver in Lilliput. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wellow’s cobblestone polisher, deeply concerned that badly-written antivirus software might threaten the closure of Midsomer’s largest artificial ski slope.
A local linguist is found dead in a manner inspired by macabre images on a medieval fresco. Suspicion falls on Broughton’s suspicious out-of-towners, upset that a rogue peacock might threaten to block harbour views.
February 7, 2026 at 7:04 AM
A local linguist is found dead in a manner inspired by macabre images on a medieval fresco. Suspicion falls on Broughton’s suspicious out-of-towners, upset that a rogue peacock might threaten to block harbour views.
A local plebeian is found dead and covered with blue paint during a gender reveal party. Suspicion falls on Binwell’s retired sunset watchers, deeply concerned that a lack of concern for Midsomer’s high murder rate might threaten to cover a Tory MP’s wife’s Land Rover with graffiti.
February 7, 2026 at 2:04 AM
A local plebeian is found dead and covered with blue paint during a gender reveal party. Suspicion falls on Binwell’s retired sunset watchers, deeply concerned that a lack of concern for Midsomer’s high murder rate might threaten to cover a Tory MP’s wife’s Land Rover with graffiti.
The village rascal is found quilted to death. Suspicion falls on Little Auburn’s cold-hearted meteorologists, deeply concerned that Midsomer Murders plots actually written by this bot might threaten the Magic Old Tennis Court.
February 6, 2026 at 9:04 PM
The village rascal is found quilted to death. Suspicion falls on Little Auburn’s cold-hearted meteorologists, deeply concerned that Midsomer Murders plots actually written by this bot might threaten the Magic Old Tennis Court.
A horse podcaster is found ferried to the Isle of the Dead by The Boatman. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wyvern’s hideous, dripping spectre, frightened that a new pandemic might threaten ChatGPT (Mansplaining as a Service).
February 6, 2026 at 4:05 PM
A horse podcaster is found ferried to the Isle of the Dead by The Boatman. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wyvern’s hideous, dripping spectre, frightened that a new pandemic might threaten ChatGPT (Mansplaining as a Service).
A recovering cheese addict is found dead from the effects of eating too many Easter eggs. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Cicely’s chief medical officer, deeply concerned that charity drinking games of pub locals might threaten to burn every catalogue of London’s inter-dimensional gateways.
February 6, 2026 at 11:04 AM
A recovering cheese addict is found dead from the effects of eating too many Easter eggs. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Cicely’s chief medical officer, deeply concerned that charity drinking games of pub locals might threaten to burn every catalogue of London’s inter-dimensional gateways.
A reclusive Russian gentleman is found locked in a freezer. Suspicion falls on Badger’s Drift’s New Age commune, disturbed that a busload of Daleks might threaten supplies of Cornish pasties.
February 6, 2026 at 6:05 AM
A reclusive Russian gentleman is found locked in a freezer. Suspicion falls on Badger’s Drift’s New Age commune, disturbed that a busload of Daleks might threaten supplies of Cornish pasties.
A mysophobic epidemiologist is found dead following a sword duel. Suspicion falls on Bachelors Bump’s ennui society, worried that meddling ornithologists might threaten agricultural exhibitions in the country.
February 6, 2026 at 1:04 AM
A mysophobic epidemiologist is found dead following a sword duel. Suspicion falls on Bachelors Bump’s ennui society, worried that meddling ornithologists might threaten agricultural exhibitions in the country.
A solicitor who charges by the millisecond is found on a spike in the middle of Causton. Suspicion falls on Barnstable’s visiting East London gangster, frightened that the cultural and economic hegemony of Causton might threaten the local manor.
February 5, 2026 at 8:04 PM
A solicitor who charges by the millisecond is found on a spike in the middle of Causton. Suspicion falls on Barnstable’s visiting East London gangster, frightened that the cultural and economic hegemony of Causton might threaten the local manor.
An unpopular fitter is found drowned at the local swimming baths. Suspicion falls on Gumpton Marsh’s Mosley appreciation society, obsessed that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten the annual cheese festival.
February 5, 2026 at 3:05 PM
An unpopular fitter is found drowned at the local swimming baths. Suspicion falls on Gumpton Marsh’s Mosley appreciation society, obsessed that a giant, runaway inflatable duck might threaten the annual cheese festival.
A mesmerising misanthrope is found drugged with codeine tablets and suffocated with a pillow. Suspicion falls on South Horton’s Barnaby Appreciation Society, frightened that a missing Masonic ring might threaten England's tea appreciation society.
February 5, 2026 at 10:05 AM
A mesmerising misanthrope is found drugged with codeine tablets and suffocated with a pillow. Suspicion falls on South Horton’s Barnaby Appreciation Society, frightened that a missing Masonic ring might threaten England's tea appreciation society.
A roller skiing fanatic is found dead after a tragic masturbation ’accident’. Suspicion falls on Stratford-under-Avon’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, deeply concerned that DIY genetic testing might threaten to end the price fixing scheme of the local florists.
February 5, 2026 at 5:04 AM
A roller skiing fanatic is found dead after a tragic masturbation ’accident’. Suspicion falls on Stratford-under-Avon’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, deeply concerned that DIY genetic testing might threaten to end the price fixing scheme of the local florists.
A local sculptor is found minced into a madras. Suspicion falls on Finchmere’s black-leather-clad digital photographers, deeply concerned that train station closures might threaten England’s green and pleasant land.
February 5, 2026 at 12:04 AM
A local sculptor is found minced into a madras. Suspicion falls on Finchmere’s black-leather-clad digital photographers, deeply concerned that train station closures might threaten England’s green and pleasant land.
A local plebeian is found dead in the street, and starved. Suspicion falls on Devington’s poached eggs society, frightened that badger culling might threaten the opening of a chemical industry museum.
February 4, 2026 at 7:05 PM
A local plebeian is found dead in the street, and starved. Suspicion falls on Devington’s poached eggs society, frightened that badger culling might threaten the opening of a chemical industry museum.
A neurotic Jungian is found drowned at the bottom of the mill pond. Suspicion falls on Titley Close’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, confused that pig farm effluent might threaten to interrupt the Miss Potato and Lamb judging.
February 4, 2026 at 2:05 PM
A neurotic Jungian is found drowned at the bottom of the mill pond. Suspicion falls on Titley Close’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, confused that pig farm effluent might threaten to interrupt the Miss Potato and Lamb judging.
A grammatosimophobic philatelist is found drowned in a well. Suspicion falls on Woking’s curate, angry that historical documents in rubber bands might threaten local power structures.
February 4, 2026 at 9:05 AM
A grammatosimophobic philatelist is found drowned in a well. Suspicion falls on Woking’s curate, angry that historical documents in rubber bands might threaten local power structures.