Midsomer Murders plots
@moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
The continuing (and randomly generated) adventures of Britain's most murderous county.
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
Content created by @patrickstokes.com and Anonymous. Generate your own: midsomerplots.net
A new-weird novelist is found turned into a nice pair of human-skin trousers. Suspicion falls on Many Crooks’ barrister, frightened that Pizza Hut orders routed though Midsomer Mallow might threaten the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
November 15, 2025 at 3:05 AM
A new-weird novelist is found turned into a nice pair of human-skin trousers. Suspicion falls on Many Crooks’ barrister, frightened that Pizza Hut orders routed though Midsomer Mallow might threaten the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
A local historian is found devoured by wolves. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Morton’s chapter of the Ayn Rand society, deeply concerned that type-casting in otherwise stellar TV careers might threaten Geoff, the last surviving resident of Midsomer.
November 14, 2025 at 10:05 PM
A local historian is found devoured by wolves. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Morton’s chapter of the Ayn Rand society, deeply concerned that type-casting in otherwise stellar TV careers might threaten Geoff, the last surviving resident of Midsomer.
A secretarial student is found electrocuted by a fitbit that had been tampered with. Suspicion falls on Whitcombe Mallet’s tech startup, deeply concerned that a village fête to raise money for the new church roof might threaten pizza deliveries.
November 14, 2025 at 5:05 PM
A secretarial student is found electrocuted by a fitbit that had been tampered with. Suspicion falls on Whitcombe Mallet’s tech startup, deeply concerned that a village fête to raise money for the new church roof might threaten pizza deliveries.
A secretarial student is found as a skeleton chained to X HQ. Suspicion falls on Swarf End’s microbiologist, obsessed that the rise of Diarmuid Gavin-style landscaped gardens, with their fire pits and their tightly fenced perimeters, might threaten supplies of English breakfast tea.
November 14, 2025 at 12:05 PM
A secretarial student is found as a skeleton chained to X HQ. Suspicion falls on Swarf End’s microbiologist, obsessed that the rise of Diarmuid Gavin-style landscaped gardens, with their fire pits and their tightly fenced perimeters, might threaten supplies of English breakfast tea.
A retired American woman is found run over by a motorised bathtub. Suspicion falls on Marsh Wood’s newt collector, angry that a rogue peacock might threaten to reveal the secrets to books’ past lives.
November 14, 2025 at 7:05 AM
A retired American woman is found run over by a motorised bathtub. Suspicion falls on Marsh Wood’s newt collector, angry that a rogue peacock might threaten to reveal the secrets to books’ past lives.
A local archaeologist is found dead and covered with blue paint during a gender reveal party. Suspicion falls on Stratton-on-the-Fosse’s witch, frightened that a lack of concern for Midsomer’s high murder rate might threaten the end of floor malting.
November 14, 2025 at 2:05 AM
A local archaeologist is found dead and covered with blue paint during a gender reveal party. Suspicion falls on Stratton-on-the-Fosse’s witch, frightened that a lack of concern for Midsomer’s high murder rate might threaten the end of floor malting.
A local rose hybrid creator is found dead after drinking a cocktail contatining ancient bacteria fom glacier ice. Suspicion falls on Stratford-under-Avon’s teal shaman, frightened that shady goings on in condiments factories might threaten the closure of the pork futures warehouse.
November 13, 2025 at 9:05 PM
A local rose hybrid creator is found dead after drinking a cocktail contatining ancient bacteria fom glacier ice. Suspicion falls on Stratford-under-Avon’s teal shaman, frightened that shady goings on in condiments factories might threaten the closure of the pork futures warehouse.
An aspiring novelist is found flayed to death. Suspicion falls on Upton Snodsbury’s financially-embarrassed aristocrat, worried that a proposed change to the local custard recipe might threaten the closure of a celebrity-run surgery.
November 13, 2025 at 4:05 PM
An aspiring novelist is found flayed to death. Suspicion falls on Upton Snodsbury’s financially-embarrassed aristocrat, worried that a proposed change to the local custard recipe might threaten the closure of a celebrity-run surgery.
A prolifically promiscuous plumber is found bled to death after being stabbed in the thigh with a Roman spear. Suspicion falls on Cooper Hill’s MILF, upset that another taxi rank in the village might threaten art supplies.
November 13, 2025 at 11:05 AM
A prolifically promiscuous plumber is found bled to death after being stabbed in the thigh with a Roman spear. Suspicion falls on Cooper Hill’s MILF, upset that another taxi rank in the village might threaten art supplies.
A roller skiing fanatic is found tortured to death with Beethoven’s 9th Symphony (Op. 125). Suspicion falls on Squirrel Leap’s teen computer hacker, deeply concerned that long queues might threaten nuclear annihilation.
November 13, 2025 at 6:05 AM
A roller skiing fanatic is found tortured to death with Beethoven’s 9th Symphony (Op. 125). Suspicion falls on Squirrel Leap’s teen computer hacker, deeply concerned that long queues might threaten nuclear annihilation.
A vestiphobic tailor is found killed by a vengeful grimalkin. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Chettham’s leaf-blower society, obsessed that fake news might threaten England's tea appreciation society.
November 13, 2025 at 1:05 AM
A vestiphobic tailor is found killed by a vengeful grimalkin. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Chettham’s leaf-blower society, obsessed that fake news might threaten England's tea appreciation society.
A candid globalist is found with an arrow inflicting a mortal wound on the left side of the belly. Suspicion falls on Lower Tooting’s Mosley appreciation society, frightened that a violent sub-culture might threaten the return of the Microsoft Office paperclip.
November 12, 2025 at 8:05 PM
A candid globalist is found with an arrow inflicting a mortal wound on the left side of the belly. Suspicion falls on Lower Tooting’s Mosley appreciation society, frightened that a violent sub-culture might threaten the return of the Microsoft Office paperclip.
Reposted by Midsomer Murders plots
The Midsomer Murders theme for slide guitar. Having a bit of fun with theme music to a favourite series. :)
Enjoy. @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
Enjoy. @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
November 11, 2025 at 5:28 AM
The Midsomer Murders theme for slide guitar. Having a bit of fun with theme music to a favourite series. :)
Enjoy. @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
Enjoy. @moremidsomerplots.bsky.social
A #NotAllMen mansplainer is found killed in a manner not specified in the TV guide this was copied from. Suspicion falls on Malham Cross’ suspicious out-of-towners, confused that a vicar’s choir banquet might threaten dairy yield.
November 12, 2025 at 3:05 PM
A #NotAllMen mansplainer is found killed in a manner not specified in the TV guide this was copied from. Suspicion falls on Malham Cross’ suspicious out-of-towners, confused that a vicar’s choir banquet might threaten dairy yield.
A Casualty actor is found compacted by a rubbish truck. Suspicion falls on Midsomer-in-the-Marsh’s romantically unlucky lumberjack, upset that white supremacists might threaten the world’s Bog snorkelling championship.
November 12, 2025 at 10:05 AM
A Casualty actor is found compacted by a rubbish truck. Suspicion falls on Midsomer-in-the-Marsh’s romantically unlucky lumberjack, upset that white supremacists might threaten the world’s Bog snorkelling championship.
An empathic microbiologist is found strangled with their own intestines. Suspicion falls on Giggleswick’s black death re-enactment society, worried that real estate agents might threaten deliveries of organic vegetables.
November 12, 2025 at 5:05 AM
An empathic microbiologist is found strangled with their own intestines. Suspicion falls on Giggleswick’s black death re-enactment society, worried that real estate agents might threaten deliveries of organic vegetables.
A local miller is found painfully sliced up by a knife disguised as a baguette. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Malham’s tapestry weaver, frightened that multiculturalism might threaten the last witch this side of Hadrian's Wall.
November 12, 2025 at 12:04 AM
A local miller is found painfully sliced up by a knife disguised as a baguette. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Malham’s tapestry weaver, frightened that multiculturalism might threaten the last witch this side of Hadrian's Wall.
A self-described “fair and balanced citizen” is found dead beneath a sabotaged parachute. Suspicion falls on Drooping Point’s chamber of commerce, upset that Midsomer Murders plots actually written by this bot might threaten centuries of ultimately pointless tradition.
November 11, 2025 at 7:05 PM
A self-described “fair and balanced citizen” is found dead beneath a sabotaged parachute. Suspicion falls on Drooping Point’s chamber of commerce, upset that Midsomer Murders plots actually written by this bot might threaten centuries of ultimately pointless tradition.
A local undertaker is found poisoned with orange tanning chemicals. Suspicion falls on Weedon’s green society, frightened that fake news might threaten the closure of the local discotheque.
November 11, 2025 at 2:05 PM
A local undertaker is found poisoned with orange tanning chemicals. Suspicion falls on Weedon’s green society, frightened that fake news might threaten the closure of the local discotheque.
A local travel writer is found quite armless erected as the Venus de Milo. Suspicion falls on Morton Fendle’s church warden and magician, obsessed that efforts to curb industrial pollution in the town might threaten to reveal that Midsomer is not actually a real place.
November 11, 2025 at 9:04 AM
A local travel writer is found quite armless erected as the Venus de Milo. Suspicion falls on Morton Fendle’s church warden and magician, obsessed that efforts to curb industrial pollution in the town might threaten to reveal that Midsomer is not actually a real place.
A mute castrato is found crushed by a trained rhinoceros. Suspicion falls on Lower Warden’s netball team, angry that a new wind farm might threaten a complete meltdown of the comments section.
November 11, 2025 at 4:04 AM
A mute castrato is found crushed by a trained rhinoceros. Suspicion falls on Lower Warden’s netball team, angry that a new wind farm might threaten a complete meltdown of the comments section.
A local owl breeder is found immured. Suspicion falls on Scratchy Bottom’s angry old-age pensioner, angry that a shortage of hand sanitisers might threaten a rare plant found on the cricket pitch.
November 10, 2025 at 11:04 PM
A local owl breeder is found immured. Suspicion falls on Scratchy Bottom’s angry old-age pensioner, angry that a shortage of hand sanitisers might threaten a rare plant found on the cricket pitch.
A local computer programmer is found hanging from a church weathercock. Suspicion falls on Matching Trousers’ company of morris dancers, obsessed that sinister clown sightings might threaten TV reception during the World Cup.
November 10, 2025 at 6:05 PM
A local computer programmer is found hanging from a church weathercock. Suspicion falls on Matching Trousers’ company of morris dancers, obsessed that sinister clown sightings might threaten TV reception during the World Cup.
A poor county employee is found sliced paper-thin and published as an avant-garde novel. Suspicion falls on Nob End’s infosec community, confused that private broadcaster bias might threaten the closure of increasingly-needed food banks.
November 10, 2025 at 1:05 PM
A poor county employee is found sliced paper-thin and published as an avant-garde novel. Suspicion falls on Nob End’s infosec community, confused that private broadcaster bias might threaten the closure of increasingly-needed food banks.
An overwrought iron distributor is found dead aboard the LNER Class A3 No. 4472 steam locomotive. Suspicion falls on Great Snoring’s Cat Sanctuary owner, angry that the imminent increase in postage rates might threaten old-fashioned family partnerships.
November 10, 2025 at 8:05 AM
An overwrought iron distributor is found dead aboard the LNER Class A3 No. 4472 steam locomotive. Suspicion falls on Great Snoring’s Cat Sanctuary owner, angry that the imminent increase in postage rates might threaten old-fashioned family partnerships.