Moe Ottis
@moeottis.bsky.social
You cannot stop the Moe-mentum 🤘
When I was a marketing department lead for the Jeremy Renner App, I had an intern show up to work and shoot me point blank in the forehead just to cause some more interesting conversations at the water cooler. That place was so fucking boring.
November 9, 2025 at 5:57 AM
When I was a marketing department lead for the Jeremy Renner App, I had an intern show up to work and shoot me point blank in the forehead just to cause some more interesting conversations at the water cooler. That place was so fucking boring.
To the maintenance guy who left his frog fleshlight on my kitchen counter, your days are numbered.
November 8, 2025 at 2:11 AM
To the maintenance guy who left his frog fleshlight on my kitchen counter, your days are numbered.
I’m eating all of the mushrooms growing in the corners of my basement until something cool happens
November 6, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I’m eating all of the mushrooms growing in the corners of my basement until something cool happens
I really fucked up today. I used invisible shampoo on my dog and now he’s running amuck in the neighborhood. I’ve also been on hold with the invisible dog catchers for an hour.
#ItsOnlyTuesday
#ItsOnlyTuesday
November 4, 2025 at 9:44 PM
I really fucked up today. I used invisible shampoo on my dog and now he’s running amuck in the neighborhood. I’ve also been on hold with the invisible dog catchers for an hour.
#ItsOnlyTuesday
#ItsOnlyTuesday
Going to a Goblin party tonight.
If anyone wants to come, please inject yourself with the fluid inside a glow stick and drown yourself in the LA River.
When you come to, you will be in the Goblin Realm and I will be smiling at you with a big toothy grin
If anyone wants to come, please inject yourself with the fluid inside a glow stick and drown yourself in the LA River.
When you come to, you will be in the Goblin Realm and I will be smiling at you with a big toothy grin
November 4, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Going to a Goblin party tonight.
If anyone wants to come, please inject yourself with the fluid inside a glow stick and drown yourself in the LA River.
When you come to, you will be in the Goblin Realm and I will be smiling at you with a big toothy grin
If anyone wants to come, please inject yourself with the fluid inside a glow stick and drown yourself in the LA River.
When you come to, you will be in the Goblin Realm and I will be smiling at you with a big toothy grin
I’m the world’s first Male Lesbian
November 4, 2025 at 1:36 AM
I’m the world’s first Male Lesbian
Reposted by Moe Ottis
If the LA Dodgers win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
October 29, 2025 at 4:18 AM
If the LA Dodgers win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
Tonight, please tune into to my niece’s special Halloween twitch stream.
She will be creating witches stew inside an authentic witch cauldron! Unlike last year, she will unfortunately not be giving it out to trick-or-treaters due to the instant trench foot side effect issue. Thank you!
She will be creating witches stew inside an authentic witch cauldron! Unlike last year, she will unfortunately not be giving it out to trick-or-treaters due to the instant trench foot side effect issue. Thank you!
October 31, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Tonight, please tune into to my niece’s special Halloween twitch stream.
She will be creating witches stew inside an authentic witch cauldron! Unlike last year, she will unfortunately not be giving it out to trick-or-treaters due to the instant trench foot side effect issue. Thank you!
She will be creating witches stew inside an authentic witch cauldron! Unlike last year, she will unfortunately not be giving it out to trick-or-treaters due to the instant trench foot side effect issue. Thank you!
Every day is a new nightmare
October 31, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Every day is a new nightmare
Moe’s Wild Winery has seen record profits this quarter and as a treat to all my clones, I am giving them each an extra week of paid vacation as well as a magical mirror that shows the evil within.
October 31, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Moe’s Wild Winery has seen record profits this quarter and as a treat to all my clones, I am giving them each an extra week of paid vacation as well as a magical mirror that shows the evil within.
I am prepared to banish any and all malignant spirits that come to my door today to the Realm of Red. Do not fuck with me
October 31, 2025 at 5:55 PM
I am prepared to banish any and all malignant spirits that come to my door today to the Realm of Red. Do not fuck with me
You’ve Cat to be Kitten me!
October 30, 2025 at 5:04 PM
You’ve Cat to be Kitten me!
If the LA Dodgers win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
October 29, 2025 at 4:18 AM
If the LA Dodgers win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
If the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series, Toronto will be wiped clean off the map
Either way, the outlook doesn’t look too good for Toronto
I’m sitting on my porch right now with my 7th century iron sword just waiting for the HOA president to come by.
October 28, 2025 at 8:09 PM
I’m sitting on my porch right now with my 7th century iron sword just waiting for the HOA president to come by.
Today I’m going to drink 23 cans of dollar store bug spray because I am NOT afraid of trying new things
October 28, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Today I’m going to drink 23 cans of dollar store bug spray because I am NOT afraid of trying new things
There is a war going on in LA between the green aliens and the gray aliens and you won’t hear a fucking PEEP about it from legacy media.
October 26, 2025 at 5:15 PM
There is a war going on in LA between the green aliens and the gray aliens and you won’t hear a fucking PEEP about it from legacy media.
I’m secretly Turkish. Or I should say I WAS secretly Turkish, until the Cleansing happened. I’ve been living like a king ever since
October 25, 2025 at 2:56 AM
I’m secretly Turkish. Or I should say I WAS secretly Turkish, until the Cleansing happened. I’ve been living like a king ever since
Charlie Brown has at least 5 illegitimate children (including my nephew Sammy “The Schizo” Ottis) that he refuses to recognize despite all the threats and rat carcasses I have mailed to his house
For this reason I will once again be boycotting “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” this Halloween
For this reason I will once again be boycotting “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” this Halloween
October 23, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Charlie Brown has at least 5 illegitimate children (including my nephew Sammy “The Schizo” Ottis) that he refuses to recognize despite all the threats and rat carcasses I have mailed to his house
For this reason I will once again be boycotting “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” this Halloween
For this reason I will once again be boycotting “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” this Halloween
Yesterday I wore my child prosthetics and went undercover to the jubilee studio to help them film their new video coming out next week.
“1 Big Blue-Eyed 5 Year Old vs 20 pedophiles | Surrounded (ft. Moe Ottis)”
“1 Big Blue-Eyed 5 Year Old vs 20 pedophiles | Surrounded (ft. Moe Ottis)”
October 21, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Yesterday I wore my child prosthetics and went undercover to the jubilee studio to help them film their new video coming out next week.
“1 Big Blue-Eyed 5 Year Old vs 20 pedophiles | Surrounded (ft. Moe Ottis)”
“1 Big Blue-Eyed 5 Year Old vs 20 pedophiles | Surrounded (ft. Moe Ottis)”
They’ve got strawberry-kiwi flavoured toilet paper at Target now. It’s time to dig in 🍽️
October 19, 2025 at 8:05 PM
They’ve got strawberry-kiwi flavoured toilet paper at Target now. It’s time to dig in 🍽️
Drinking a beer made from eel slime and slug slime and frog slime. They call it the slime beer
October 19, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Drinking a beer made from eel slime and slug slime and frog slime. They call it the slime beer
I was just invited onto Jeff Bezos yacht. Should I do it?
October 19, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I was just invited onto Jeff Bezos yacht. Should I do it?
Been getting into a morning ritual where I mad-max my teeth with a can of bear mace every day.
I’m doing it so much, I bit a guy who cut in me in line at Dunkin’ and he had to get his blood replaced.
I’m doing it so much, I bit a guy who cut in me in line at Dunkin’ and he had to get his blood replaced.
October 17, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Been getting into a morning ritual where I mad-max my teeth with a can of bear mace every day.
I’m doing it so much, I bit a guy who cut in me in line at Dunkin’ and he had to get his blood replaced.
I’m doing it so much, I bit a guy who cut in me in line at Dunkin’ and he had to get his blood replaced.
I’ve got worm fever. I’ve got a fever for WORMS
October 17, 2025 at 9:52 PM
I’ve got worm fever. I’ve got a fever for WORMS
Met a guy named John Hotdog and another guy named Tom Hamburger yesterday
October 17, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Met a guy named John Hotdog and another guy named Tom Hamburger yesterday