Mike Turski
@miketurski.bsky.social
If you don’t think Moonlighting was one of the best tv shows ever, hit the bricks…
If you ever see a closed down Church's Chicken, you're somewhere you shouldn't be.
November 18, 2025 at 10:40 PM
If you ever see a closed down Church's Chicken, you're somewhere you shouldn't be.
Don't expect me to stop if your BMW is broken down by the side of the road. You were offered an extended car warranty several times.
November 17, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Don't expect me to stop if your BMW is broken down by the side of the road. You were offered an extended car warranty several times.
We should normalize sleeping with two separate blankets when you’re in a relationship.
November 16, 2025 at 10:09 PM
We should normalize sleeping with two separate blankets when you’re in a relationship.
To the 8 or so people liking my jokes, you guys want anything from 7-11?
November 15, 2025 at 10:46 PM
To the 8 or so people liking my jokes, you guys want anything from 7-11?
Any job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.
November 13, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Any job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.
Walked by a park and realized I haven't seen a Rollie Pollie since I was a kid. Where they at?
November 12, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Walked by a park and realized I haven't seen a Rollie Pollie since I was a kid. Where they at?
Instead of whining in the break room, I wish coworkers would fight in the bathroom like in Junior High.
November 12, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Instead of whining in the break room, I wish coworkers would fight in the bathroom like in Junior High.
Me: “I think I'Il open this kitchen drawer.”
Salad tongs: “No you fucking won’t…”
Salad tongs: “No you fucking won’t…”
November 10, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Me: “I think I'Il open this kitchen drawer.”
Salad tongs: “No you fucking won’t…”
Salad tongs: “No you fucking won’t…”
If this year hasn’t sucked enough, we now have to get ready for people putting those damn antlers on their cars.
November 9, 2025 at 9:57 PM
If this year hasn’t sucked enough, we now have to get ready for people putting those damn antlers on their cars.
I'm now at the point in my life where the hottest text I get is, "your prescription is ready for pick up.”
November 8, 2025 at 10:55 PM
I'm now at the point in my life where the hottest text I get is, "your prescription is ready for pick up.”
Where eagles dare…
November 8, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Where eagles dare…
If you’d don’t eat some grapes before paying for them at the grocery store, I don’t trust you.
November 7, 2025 at 3:06 AM
If you’d don’t eat some grapes before paying for them at the grocery store, I don’t trust you.
#wbw Found a pic from the S&S days with my friends Becky and Heat looking adorable with their spooky red eyes. An effect you could easily get from the crappy disposable camera I always used to carry with me.
November 6, 2025 at 3:33 AM
#wbw Found a pic from the S&S days with my friends Becky and Heat looking adorable with their spooky red eyes. An effect you could easily get from the crappy disposable camera I always used to carry with me.
Congrats on being born. Here's your social security card. It's paper and has to last you a lifetime. Don't laminate it.
Good luck.
Good luck.
November 4, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Congrats on being born. Here's your social security card. It's paper and has to last you a lifetime. Don't laminate it.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Me: “Hey! I sit in the back of this boring ass class for a reason. Save me some!”
November 3, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Me: “Hey! I sit in the back of this boring ass class for a reason. Save me some!”
I think wearing socks with sandals should affect your credit score.
November 2, 2025 at 9:55 PM
I think wearing socks with sandals should affect your credit score.
I wish my Detroit Tigers had made it past the playoffs and won it all, but that was easily the most exciting World Series I’ve seen in DECADES. Reminded me why I love baseball…
And Yamamoto and Ohtani deserve multi-billion dollar contracts.
They’re incredible.
And Yamamoto and Ohtani deserve multi-billion dollar contracts.
They’re incredible.
November 2, 2025 at 4:40 AM
I wish my Detroit Tigers had made it past the playoffs and won it all, but that was easily the most exciting World Series I’ve seen in DECADES. Reminded me why I love baseball…
And Yamamoto and Ohtani deserve multi-billion dollar contracts.
They’re incredible.
And Yamamoto and Ohtani deserve multi-billion dollar contracts.
They’re incredible.
How old am I?
I remember when math was called arithmetic.
I remember when math was called arithmetic.
November 1, 2025 at 10:09 PM
How old am I?
I remember when math was called arithmetic.
I remember when math was called arithmetic.
#fbf Since it’s Halloween, here’s a pic of me from back in the Liquid Kitty days as a deranged serial killer school bus driver with a drinking problem.
Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween!
October 31, 2025 at 10:27 PM
#fbf Since it’s Halloween, here’s a pic of me from back in the Liquid Kitty days as a deranged serial killer school bus driver with a drinking problem.
Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween!
Not a single job has ever asked to see my diploma. I could’ve just lied about it. I did not need that crap.
October 31, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Not a single job has ever asked to see my diploma. I could’ve just lied about it. I did not need that crap.
I weigh myself naked. If you have a problem with that, go to a different Walmart.
October 29, 2025 at 9:08 PM
I weigh myself naked. If you have a problem with that, go to a different Walmart.
Rest in peace to British comedy icon Prunella Scales… Fawlty Towers was one of my FAVORITE shows growing up.
#prunellascales #british #comedy #icon #fawltytowers #rip #restinpeace
#prunellascales #british #comedy #icon #fawltytowers #rip #restinpeace
October 29, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Rest in peace to British comedy icon Prunella Scales… Fawlty Towers was one of my FAVORITE shows growing up.
#prunellascales #british #comedy #icon #fawltytowers #rip #restinpeace
#prunellascales #british #comedy #icon #fawltytowers #rip #restinpeace
I know many have done this before, but I just yelled "REGULATORS!!!” at the Burbank Mall and nobody yelled "MOUNT UP!!!”
I hate it here.
I hate it here.
October 28, 2025 at 10:51 PM
I know many have done this before, but I just yelled "REGULATORS!!!” at the Burbank Mall and nobody yelled "MOUNT UP!!!”
I hate it here.
I hate it here.
You can get out of jury duty by asking “do I get paid more for a guilty or innocent verdict?”
October 27, 2025 at 10:42 PM
You can get out of jury duty by asking “do I get paid more for a guilty or innocent verdict?”