Fine example of a local newspaper headline from the Basingstoke Gazette here

Me when I’m waiting for the codes on the authenticator app to change so I can log onto some bullshit website

I present the cultural highlights of Basingstoke

Why do they not remove the evil tomato from the pack before they sell it to you?

Luna realising that jumping on Shadow’s head would have consequences

Me when I’m at the entrance to the supermarket and I need to pick up some frozen cookie dough:

Tempted to get this in the hope it’s accurate purely for the look of disdain on the cats’ faces as they have to share less than 3 grams of food I’ve paid nearly £20 for.

If a New York minute is the time it takes the driver behind to honk from when the lights change I’d like to propose a Southampton minute as the time it takes us to concede from when I realise I should place a bet on the opposition. Both are somewhat shorter than an actual minute.

Me: Does our pet insurance cover injuries from head-butting a wall while trying to catch a giant projected hamster running through a Mario level?

Wife: What? Why are you asking?

Me: Oh, no reason.

Righto, for the first meeting of the tautological hobby club has everyone had a go at a cross stitch cross stitch?

One of the downsides of bluesky compared to twitter is the lack of football updates.

As a Southampton fan it is also one of its key advantages.

If anyone asks what’s bothering me I’m just going to show them this and avoid any attempts at explanation

Just seen a bloke sat in a costa, wearing a Burger King crown while eating a Greggs.