Forever you haunt my mind, these hallways seem neverending. I wander alone until finally I see you wandering too. I watch from a distance, yearning for nothing more than to be closer to you. Torturing myself from a distance.

As I lay uninterested in existence I feel my beating heart pull strings so tight it could strum the beautiful melody of our love

I guess it's time to retreat to the false forever prison of my mind.

Am I the definition of crazy? Too crazy? Do I disgust you? Do you see me for who I really want to be, the me that doesn't have to hide deep within the darkness of our own mindscape? Or am I to shut the door and lock it in fear one day you will find me repulsive.

I peer into the darkness of the yard wondering.. "Where are you?"

The minutes tick by and all I feel is the distance between us growing second by second yet rekindling for the next time we meet. I wonder, will I ever get to tell you the real truth of who I am?

I wonder if you think of me when you're alone. You're the most exhilarating drug I could ever be seduced by.

To understand someone so perfectly your pieces for their pieces and together it makes a utopian grade love that can't be broken.

So close I could walk. So close I could see. I could touch the grass on your property. I could feel the starlit dew on my fingertips. The cold chilled disguising night at my fingertips. Helping me to get ever closer to you. To see a small slice of your life I could never see before. Be close to you.

I wish that you were just obsessed with me the same level I'm obsessed with you.

I dream longingly for your eyes to gaze upon me while I sit here woefully fantasizing about you watching me from so close yet without line of sight.

Let me find me someone who wants me to look at you the same way Joe Goldberg looks at the love of his life.

Who wants to find their Joe Goldberg?

Hoping to find the fuck ups like me who like real sexy mental illness