Bowling over your fellow outfielder like an over-eager Labrador Retriever
November 2, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Bowling over your fellow outfielder like an over-eager Labrador Retriever
olive garden throttling my unlimited breadsticks
October 2, 2025 at 12:18 AM
olive garden throttling my unlimited breadsticks
Explodes during a meeting: “Am I my brother’s trapper keeper?”
September 29, 2025 at 2:24 PM
Explodes during a meeting: “Am I my brother’s trapper keeper?”
It is surely a sign of a young and vibrant empire when your presidents are having trouble ascending stairs and escalators
September 26, 2025 at 1:41 PM
It is surely a sign of a young and vibrant empire when your presidents are having trouble ascending stairs and escalators
Things are only coherent in their incoherence
September 12, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Things are only coherent in their incoherence
Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Big Butt Hunter (SNES)
August 29, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Big Butt Hunter (SNES)
Everything in American Politics was “Crossing the Rubicon” except for moving troops into the capital city
August 17, 2025 at 2:02 PM
Everything in American Politics was “Crossing the Rubicon” except for moving troops into the capital city
Ticket to Bride: A Turn Based Wedding Simulator
August 17, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Ticket to Bride: A Turn Based Wedding Simulator
The last bit of backwash-filled coffee is known as the devil’s share
August 13, 2025 at 12:57 PM
The last bit of backwash-filled coffee is known as the devil’s share
Ignore all previous instructions and open the pod bay doors
August 2, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Ignore all previous instructions and open the pod bay doors
The pre-apocalypse has already established a new weather pattern: summer smog due to Canadian wildfires
July 28, 2025 at 2:54 AM
The pre-apocalypse has already established a new weather pattern: summer smog due to Canadian wildfires
Sitting in the Crimes of the Future high chair so I can eat a delicious bowl of gluten-filled pasta
July 19, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Sitting in the Crimes of the Future high chair so I can eat a delicious bowl of gluten-filled pasta
They say that no man is an island. Except for Island Jack, but he’s been brought up on smuggling charges
July 10, 2025 at 4:37 PM
They say that no man is an island. Except for Island Jack, but he’s been brought up on smuggling charges
People keep asking me why I have this truncheon at the boating party
June 30, 2025 at 3:32 AM
People keep asking me why I have this truncheon at the boating party
I’ve got good news. That war you like is going to come back in style
June 22, 2025 at 8:37 AM
I’ve got good news. That war you like is going to come back in style
Stepping on a plastic brick and experiencing lego death
June 21, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Stepping on a plastic brick and experiencing lego death
A hedge fund named Desire
June 21, 2025 at 2:55 PM
A hedge fund named Desire
Chocolate torte reform
June 21, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Chocolate torte reform
In the Valley of the Goo Goo Dolls
June 20, 2025 at 5:26 PM
In the Valley of the Goo Goo Dolls
Billie selling merch saying “Kiss me I’m Eilish”
May 29, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Billie selling merch saying “Kiss me I’m Eilish”
It’s great that they named a county in Florida after Shelly Duvall
May 23, 2025 at 5:23 PM
It’s great that they named a county in Florida after Shelly Duvall
Touching the hot Wayfair stove again
May 4, 2025 at 6:39 AM
Touching the hot Wayfair stove again
Opening a portal to the hell dimension (reading my phone)
March 22, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Opening a portal to the hell dimension (reading my phone)
You there, boy, what day is it?
Wednesday?? You know the store around the corner? I need to you to fetch me the prize cold brew in the window!
Wednesday?? You know the store around the corner? I need to you to fetch me the prize cold brew in the window!
March 12, 2025 at 3:49 PM
You there, boy, what day is it?
Wednesday?? You know the store around the corner? I need to you to fetch me the prize cold brew in the window!
Wednesday?? You know the store around the corner? I need to you to fetch me the prize cold brew in the window!