Hot "Elf" take.

Walter Hobbs should have been fired immediately after approving to ship a book with the friggin' ending missing.

"All kids do is look at pictures."

Dude, your whole job is making kids books that are good and people will want to buy. Having no ending in one of your books is insane.

Scully: It doesn't make any sense Mulder. It appears his heart suddenly grew three sizes. Killing him instantly.

Mulder: [tossing a manilla folder onto her desk] Ever hear of the Grinch Alien?

Me: Def Leppard is touring next year.

7 year old: A deaf Leopard is going on tour??

Doesn't matter how many Stanley Cups you buy, you're not allowed to touch it until you win one.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.... Santa punched out Grandpa... elves stole the tree, the whole family was blindsided.

It was a real scene man.

Grey Cup. It's kind of like Superbowl except the players need to call out of work.

People who post; "New to town, who wants to be friends??"

On social media sites are a level of insane my misanthropanic ass will never understand

My Jack O' Lantern is rotting, but I think it looks better?

“Excuse me sir, can you show me how to shit in this one here?”

If someone at the CDC offers you a muffin, SAY NO.

I must say this Truth Social App is much more left wing than I thought it'd be

Christmas is starting to creep earlier than Halloween. The goths can only hold the line for so long.

Soon it's gonna be Jack O' Lantern Santa's and skeleton elves.

Is that really what you want?

Never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right.