MKB
@matthewkbegbie.bsky.social
TV writer, playwright, and future ghost
Currently: ELSBETH on CBS
Previously: Gossip Girl & Schmigadoon
Currently: ELSBETH on CBS
Previously: Gossip Girl & Schmigadoon
I fear I'm in a dark place. I'm considering catching up on Dexter.
August 23, 2025 at 3:17 AM
I fear I'm in a dark place. I'm considering catching up on Dexter.
I do NOT need AI to explain to me what Tracy Turnblad already has!!!
August 6, 2025 at 12:03 AM
I do NOT need AI to explain to me what Tracy Turnblad already has!!!
Someone give their casting director a Nobel Prize.
July 17, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Someone give their casting director a Nobel Prize.
Tamra, my AI girlfriend who I programmed to only say nice things about me, agrees that my bitch wife and three annoying kids are having a negative impact on my mental health.
July 9, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Tamra, my AI girlfriend who I programmed to only say nice things about me, agrees that my bitch wife and three annoying kids are having a negative impact on my mental health.
Yapped my heart out at the gay bar.
I think I found my calling.
I think I found my calling.
June 27, 2025 at 8:04 AM
Yapped my heart out at the gay bar.
I think I found my calling.
I think I found my calling.
I think whatever loyalty (if any) I have toward JetBlue comes from how grateful I am that they flew Elle Woods to her Harvard personal essay performance.
June 22, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I think whatever loyalty (if any) I have toward JetBlue comes from how grateful I am that they flew Elle Woods to her Harvard personal essay performance.
I honestly almost witnessed a mutiny when the DJ on the pride boat party wearing a name tag that said "ALLY" started playing Monster and changed the song before Nicki's verse.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
June 21, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I honestly almost witnessed a mutiny when the DJ on the pride boat party wearing a name tag that said "ALLY" started playing Monster and changed the song before Nicki's verse.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
Genuinely almost watched that man go overboard.
They said WALK THE PLANK.
You know you can trust a woman named Maureen.
June 21, 2025 at 10:25 PM
You know you can trust a woman named Maureen.
Paul King, the obvious casting is RIGHT THERE.
June 21, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Paul King, the obvious casting is RIGHT THERE.
Me on a pride party boat tomorrow:
June 21, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Me on a pride party boat tomorrow:
Reposted by MKB
"I asked ChatGPT" Okay well I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought me down.
June 21, 2025 at 4:12 AM
"I asked ChatGPT" Okay well I took my love, I took it down, climbed a mountain and I turned around, and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought me down.
One day I will return to Twitter and I will fully understand how Norma Desmond felt walking back onto the Paramount lot.
June 19, 2025 at 4:32 AM
One day I will return to Twitter and I will fully understand how Norma Desmond felt walking back onto the Paramount lot.
I'm here today to give you permission to unfollow your happy ex! You don't need to see that!
June 18, 2025 at 6:18 PM
I'm here today to give you permission to unfollow your happy ex! You don't need to see that!
A dear friend trusted me with a secret that becomes public information tomorrow and I'm thrilled that none of the dozens of people I've told have ruined this for me yet!
June 18, 2025 at 2:08 AM
A dear friend trusted me with a secret that becomes public information tomorrow and I'm thrilled that none of the dozens of people I've told have ruined this for me yet!
Your twink is lovely, Hubble.
June 17, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Your twink is lovely, Hubble.
Another photo of me smirking with a martini in hand. Groundbreaking stuff over here.
June 17, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Another photo of me smirking with a martini in hand. Groundbreaking stuff over here.
I have a genuine question. Why do commercials for iPhone games I've never heard of have higher budgets than most televisions shows?
The biggest celebrities in the world are doing ads for Galaxy Invader Mobile and Kwazy Cupcakes.
The biggest celebrities in the world are doing ads for Galaxy Invader Mobile and Kwazy Cupcakes.
June 17, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I have a genuine question. Why do commercials for iPhone games I've never heard of have higher budgets than most televisions shows?
The biggest celebrities in the world are doing ads for Galaxy Invader Mobile and Kwazy Cupcakes.
The biggest celebrities in the world are doing ads for Galaxy Invader Mobile and Kwazy Cupcakes.
Reposted by MKB
first the tony and now this
June 11, 2025 at 9:14 PM
first the tony and now this
I was worried I was going to have to storm the capitol...
June 9, 2025 at 2:15 AM
I was worried I was going to have to storm the capitol...
Reposted by MKB
Here's how Boop! could still win 🧵
June 8, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Here's how Boop! could still win 🧵