Anyone want to go in with me on a seaside Gaza timeshare?

LIFE HACK! Bring a fanny pack for air travel, so after you get through security you can have your Ativan, mini booze bottles, and handiwipes within reach at all times! (And the sartorial allure of the fanny pack will likely lead to meeting many new friends; especially the ladies.)

DON’T JUDGE ME

How come y’all didn’t tell me the Willy Wonka movie is INSANE?!!

Hey if the Menendez bros get out of prison, who wants to make signs with me and greet them at the gates?

What TV ads would you rather avoid when watching sports?
A) gambling apps
B) men’s deodorant for their genitals

What kind of medal do I earn for making sure I don’t go more than a week before washing my water bottle?

Hey Instagram, it’s “WHOM” you might know…