I'm about to knock back a cold one
January 13, 2026 at 1:52 PM
I'm about to knock back a cold one
It's fine to just read headlines. They usually don't put important stuff in the articles.
January 13, 2026 at 1:32 AM
It's fine to just read headlines. They usually don't put important stuff in the articles.
If I was Doug Funnie's dad, I would have made sure that mf Mr. Dink stayed far the hell away from my kids. Grown man talking about "very expensive 😏" with an 11 year told boy
January 13, 2026 at 12:38 AM
If I was Doug Funnie's dad, I would have made sure that mf Mr. Dink stayed far the hell away from my kids. Grown man talking about "very expensive 😏" with an 11 year told boy
One of my favorite palindromes is "several suits sharing soups". Go ahead and try it for yourself
January 13, 2026 at 12:26 AM
One of my favorite palindromes is "several suits sharing soups". Go ahead and try it for yourself
2026 is the year of the 36 year old out of shape gym influencer
January 12, 2026 at 6:21 PM
2026 is the year of the 36 year old out of shape gym influencer
Yes I believe in the infinite love of the human heart. I've heard my 3 year old son ask for "basagna" for dinner
January 12, 2026 at 1:19 AM
Yes I believe in the infinite love of the human heart. I've heard my 3 year old son ask for "basagna" for dinner
Come over to bluesky. We got tun. Doop is here. And also prink posts there. But best of all? Jonk is on here as well
January 11, 2026 at 12:51 PM
Come over to bluesky. We got tun. Doop is here. And also prink posts there. But best of all? Jonk is on here as well
Our food is fully USDA inspected so there's not going to be any problems, believe me
January 10, 2026 at 11:44 PM
Our food is fully USDA inspected so there's not going to be any problems, believe me
All the kids at the park were calling me a peckerwood
January 10, 2026 at 6:36 PM
All the kids at the park were calling me a peckerwood
Bro you're off putting as hell and I just gotta say I frankly dig that
Let's hang out
Let's hang out
January 10, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Bro you're off putting as hell and I just gotta say I frankly dig that
Let's hang out
Let's hang out
You can't dm people on here to harass them so everyone else close your eyes
@jonk.bsky.social I'm running at top speed directly to your location
@jonk.bsky.social I'm running at top speed directly to your location
January 10, 2026 at 2:21 AM
You can't dm people on here to harass them so everyone else close your eyes
@jonk.bsky.social I'm running at top speed directly to your location
@jonk.bsky.social I'm running at top speed directly to your location
This is what they're doing to me at the doctor
January 9, 2026 at 7:19 PM
This is what they're doing to me at the doctor
This new trend of giving you a beer at the barbershop has to stop. It should be a hard boiled egg
January 9, 2026 at 1:26 PM
This new trend of giving you a beer at the barbershop has to stop. It should be a hard boiled egg
I'm going to use this website and not the other website now
January 9, 2026 at 3:38 AM
I'm going to use this website and not the other website now
They drove me around town in the Insane-O Bus. Sort of a misnomer, given that it's a van instead of a bus.
January 9, 2026 at 12:26 AM
They drove me around town in the Insane-O Bus. Sort of a misnomer, given that it's a van instead of a bus.
City passed an ordinance saying the mayor can use my hot tub anytime he wants, which I think is frankly bullshit but I guess the law is the law
December 7, 2025 at 7:44 PM
City passed an ordinance saying the mayor can use my hot tub anytime he wants, which I think is frankly bullshit but I guess the law is the law
I got a Christmas card today from a Mr. G. Rinch. It had on it a dozen or so pictures of me getting my ass kicked
December 5, 2025 at 1:32 PM
I got a Christmas card today from a Mr. G. Rinch. It had on it a dozen or so pictures of me getting my ass kicked
They put my ass in the slammer
December 4, 2025 at 1:43 PM
They put my ass in the slammer
They're euthanizing me tomorrow
November 29, 2025 at 2:40 AM
They're euthanizing me tomorrow
Thanksgiving diaorahea
November 27, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Thanksgiving diaorahea
The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff just took a huge four flusher here at this unattached Zales, which is weird because I thought they only had those in malls
November 26, 2025 at 10:13 PM
The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff just took a huge four flusher here at this unattached Zales, which is weird because I thought they only had those in malls
The witch on my street is going to cook my ass like a damn goose for Thanksgiving. I tried to tell her that it would be more traditional to cook my ass like a turkey, but the old hag wouldn't listen.
November 25, 2025 at 7:07 PM
The witch on my street is going to cook my ass like a damn goose for Thanksgiving. I tried to tell her that it would be more traditional to cook my ass like a turkey, but the old hag wouldn't listen.
I got caught in some acid rain yesterday with my acquaintance Claude and it melted the shit out of his metal ass
November 20, 2025 at 3:42 AM
I got caught in some acid rain yesterday with my acquaintance Claude and it melted the shit out of his metal ass
I just stuck a bag of 5000 steel ball bearings under my dipshit neighbor Greg's lawn mower. Let's see who's having Afghanistan flashbacks when you go to cut your grass next, asshole
November 13, 2025 at 2:29 AM
I just stuck a bag of 5000 steel ball bearings under my dipshit neighbor Greg's lawn mower. Let's see who's having Afghanistan flashbacks when you go to cut your grass next, asshole
There's this guy at work named James and he taps my damn sack every chance he gets. And the twist? I'm self-employed
November 5, 2025 at 2:13 PM
There's this guy at work named James and he taps my damn sack every chance he gets. And the twist? I'm self-employed