Martin Ewen
@martinewen.bsky.social
CHAOS QUANTIFICATION,
PROVIDER OF SIMULATED FIXED POINT REALITY SYNTHESIS.
PERCEPTION PLUGINS AND DEHYDRATED COMEDY PRODUCED BY A PROFESSIONAL.
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PROVIDER OF SIMULATED FIXED POINT REALITY SYNTHESIS.
PERCEPTION PLUGINS AND DEHYDRATED COMEDY PRODUCED BY A PROFESSIONAL.
NOW WITH EXTRA VERBIAGE !!
ironic Chapelle milked that iconic 'Pimp' novel when all he ever wanted to be was a Saudi callgirl.
I'm sure Mark Twain is right at the end of the line to kiss Chapelles ass but is happy to wait
I'm sure Mark Twain is right at the end of the line to kiss Chapelles ass but is happy to wait
December 14, 2025 at 9:25 AM
ironic Chapelle milked that iconic 'Pimp' novel when all he ever wanted to be was a Saudi callgirl.
I'm sure Mark Twain is right at the end of the line to kiss Chapelles ass but is happy to wait
I'm sure Mark Twain is right at the end of the line to kiss Chapelles ass but is happy to wait
Billionares are the smallpox in humanities blankets.
December 8, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Billionares are the smallpox in humanities blankets.
the only differences between me and a ghost is that food goes missing and the toilet flushes intermittently.
October 28, 2025 at 5:33 AM
the only differences between me and a ghost is that food goes missing and the toilet flushes intermittently.
subreferential analogies
Fear, for instance, has a very sticky quality to it. It's very easy to become attached to the feeling of fear.
Fear, for instance, has a very sticky quality to it. It's very easy to become attached to the feeling of fear.
October 22, 2025 at 1:44 AM
subreferential analogies
Fear, for instance, has a very sticky quality to it. It's very easy to become attached to the feeling of fear.
Fear, for instance, has a very sticky quality to it. It's very easy to become attached to the feeling of fear.
But when the lights go down and he hits the stage I personally breath a sigh of relief because he shoulders some unfathomable burden for me. He's like an untrainable rat in a maze and his shows are like every known archetype has farted a different color and he is a swizzlestick.
October 16, 2025 at 10:10 AM
But when the lights go down and he hits the stage I personally breath a sigh of relief because he shoulders some unfathomable burden for me. He's like an untrainable rat in a maze and his shows are like every known archetype has farted a different color and he is a swizzlestick.
As far as I'm concerned I'm the best clown writer of my type since Heinrich Böll pretended to be one.
October 16, 2025 at 9:41 AM
As far as I'm concerned I'm the best clown writer of my type since Heinrich Böll pretended to be one.
Are any one of my liberal friends going to explain that my grandchildren dieing of measles is worth it because it annoys them?
October 8, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Are any one of my liberal friends going to explain that my grandchildren dieing of measles is worth it because it annoys them?
The Old Grey Lady is now a toothless addicted withered whore entirely dependent on kleptocrats piss for nutrients.
October 6, 2025 at 8:23 AM
The Old Grey Lady is now a toothless addicted withered whore entirely dependent on kleptocrats piss for nutrients.
Burr, 'comically' is the sound a bone-saw makes.
October 4, 2025 at 7:25 AM
Burr, 'comically' is the sound a bone-saw makes.
We are in the 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' Zone.
Where Nurse Rachet is 70 million americans.
Where Nurse Rachet is 70 million americans.
August 28, 2025 at 6:36 AM
We are in the 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' Zone.
Where Nurse Rachet is 70 million americans.
Where Nurse Rachet is 70 million americans.
You can bicker among yourselves but as someone who had a green card and put my years in I have to ask. Are Americans as aware as the rest of the world looking on, that they are full into a cold civil war?
August 8, 2025 at 8:35 AM
You can bicker among yourselves but as someone who had a green card and put my years in I have to ask. Are Americans as aware as the rest of the world looking on, that they are full into a cold civil war?
Can't wait until the united states finally comes to terms with the only way to preserve it's democratic statehood being a constantly televised orangutan and a dartboard.
July 20, 2025 at 6:52 AM
Can't wait until the united states finally comes to terms with the only way to preserve it's democratic statehood being a constantly televised orangutan and a dartboard.
I try and keep early onset at bay by being provocative enough that when I lose my mind no-one notices.
July 14, 2025 at 9:41 AM
I try and keep early onset at bay by being provocative enough that when I lose my mind no-one notices.
A Ted Cruise is a specific holiday defined by most of your hometown drowning while you're away.
July 9, 2025 at 5:12 AM
A Ted Cruise is a specific holiday defined by most of your hometown drowning while you're away.
Reposted by Martin Ewen
I did not edit this, this is the actual parade with the actual music being played.
CINEMATIC
CINEMATIC
June 14, 2025 at 11:32 PM
I did not edit this, this is the actual parade with the actual music being played.
CINEMATIC
CINEMATIC
Third hand umbrage and living vicariously via internet-agony-aunty-anism has reduced a significant online subset to inane Dear Abby shells chained to the worlds longest washingline carping like Hilda Ogden.
May 25, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Third hand umbrage and living vicariously via internet-agony-aunty-anism has reduced a significant online subset to inane Dear Abby shells chained to the worlds longest washingline carping like Hilda Ogden.
Reposted by Martin Ewen
Trump is a braindead approximation of truman capote pretending to be john wayne through the lens of Gomer pyle.
And he's the worlds most powerful elected representative. Homo Sapiens fundamental weakness was its inability to wipe its own ass.
And he's the worlds most powerful elected representative. Homo Sapiens fundamental weakness was its inability to wipe its own ass.
May 3, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Trump is a braindead approximation of truman capote pretending to be john wayne through the lens of Gomer pyle.
And he's the worlds most powerful elected representative. Homo Sapiens fundamental weakness was its inability to wipe its own ass.
And he's the worlds most powerful elected representative. Homo Sapiens fundamental weakness was its inability to wipe its own ass.
My typical response to the question of why I wear predominantly black socially is that I have both dandruff and a humiliation fetish. [added points if you get to flick a shoulder while explaining]
May 3, 2025 at 4:18 AM
My typical response to the question of why I wear predominantly black socially is that I have both dandruff and a humiliation fetish. [added points if you get to flick a shoulder while explaining]
Sometimes I internally bicker about whether making people laugh about otherwise sad things in public is a good or bad thing. The entirety of those sad things being themselves. Forty years of pondering lean towards kiss my melancholic asshole.
May 2, 2025 at 7:15 AM
Sometimes I internally bicker about whether making people laugh about otherwise sad things in public is a good or bad thing. The entirety of those sad things being themselves. Forty years of pondering lean towards kiss my melancholic asshole.
John Roberts is lynched
Poetic justice,
Trump is forgotten
Poetic justice,
Musk cleans windscreens at an intersection
Poetic justice,
The entire Maga movement both genders and everything in between chemically castrated.
The final solution
Poetic justice,
Poetic justice,
Trump is forgotten
Poetic justice,
Musk cleans windscreens at an intersection
Poetic justice,
The entire Maga movement both genders and everything in between chemically castrated.
The final solution
Poetic justice,
April 30, 2025 at 8:15 AM
John Roberts is lynched
Poetic justice,
Trump is forgotten
Poetic justice,
Musk cleans windscreens at an intersection
Poetic justice,
The entire Maga movement both genders and everything in between chemically castrated.
The final solution
Poetic justice,
Poetic justice,
Trump is forgotten
Poetic justice,
Musk cleans windscreens at an intersection
Poetic justice,
The entire Maga movement both genders and everything in between chemically castrated.
The final solution
Poetic justice,
America has really grown into it's own cliche. Like a cancerous parable with global implications. Nothing is beyond the imagination. Are there Vegas odds on America nuking one of its own cities in the next 3 years?
April 30, 2025 at 7:28 AM
America has really grown into it's own cliche. Like a cancerous parable with global implications. Nothing is beyond the imagination. Are there Vegas odds on America nuking one of its own cities in the next 3 years?
As far as republican vice presidents go Cheney shot a guy in the face but Vance killed the Pope. Someone should introduce Vance to world poverty.
April 22, 2025 at 6:10 AM
As far as republican vice presidents go Cheney shot a guy in the face but Vance killed the Pope. Someone should introduce Vance to world poverty.