Lora Bites ✨
@lorabites.bsky.social
Starting to date again and it's so exhausting. When is the best time to tell the other person that I'm a demon from hell?
February 18, 2026 at 8:58 PM
Starting to date again and it's so exhausting. When is the best time to tell the other person that I'm a demon from hell?
Me to my wife: Hey we should write an album that's all hits since our last album was a noisy mess. It would be funny!
My wife: Sure. Why not?
Me, months later: ummm i dont know how to make music 😬
My wife: Sure. Why not?
Me, months later: ummm i dont know how to make music 😬
February 17, 2026 at 9:20 PM
Me to my wife: Hey we should write an album that's all hits since our last album was a noisy mess. It would be funny!
My wife: Sure. Why not?
Me, months later: ummm i dont know how to make music 😬
My wife: Sure. Why not?
Me, months later: ummm i dont know how to make music 😬
I'll never be as cool as the dudes that do wheelies on their bicycle all the way down my street.
February 17, 2026 at 8:25 PM
I'll never be as cool as the dudes that do wheelies on their bicycle all the way down my street.
It makes no sense that people buy equipment to do exercise when they could just be having sex with me instead.
February 17, 2026 at 7:07 PM
It makes no sense that people buy equipment to do exercise when they could just be having sex with me instead.
It's annoying when someone is against lying a little bit. Like you don't have to bail on ppl by saying "oh im going to hang with someone i like more instead." Have some decency and just say you have diarrhea like a normal person.
February 17, 2026 at 2:11 AM
It's annoying when someone is against lying a little bit. Like you don't have to bail on ppl by saying "oh im going to hang with someone i like more instead." Have some decency and just say you have diarrhea like a normal person.
They should let me do Bill Maher's podcast. I would blow his mind by showing him the band Tool and we would never hear from him again.
February 16, 2026 at 11:21 PM
They should let me do Bill Maher's podcast. I would blow his mind by showing him the band Tool and we would never hear from him again.
I dont care if it's frowned upon. I think it's okay to fuck your twin.
February 16, 2026 at 11:17 PM
I dont care if it's frowned upon. I think it's okay to fuck your twin.
Me and my wife are celebrating gay trans love today by smoke weed, eat sandwich and watch movie ♥️
February 14, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Me and my wife are celebrating gay trans love today by smoke weed, eat sandwich and watch movie ♥️
Every time i plan a road trip i forget that between cities I have to drive through the twilight zone. Not good!
February 13, 2026 at 11:49 PM
Every time i plan a road trip i forget that between cities I have to drive through the twilight zone. Not good!
If anyone wants to beat me up and turn me into a whimpering mess today, that would be chill.
February 13, 2026 at 6:07 PM
If anyone wants to beat me up and turn me into a whimpering mess today, that would be chill.
I've got a small dick but a HUGE personality (c-ptsd)
February 11, 2026 at 12:29 AM
I've got a small dick but a HUGE personality (c-ptsd)
Flirting with communists: "oh you want to own the means of production? What else do you want to own?" (Twirls hair)
February 10, 2026 at 11:32 PM
Flirting with communists: "oh you want to own the means of production? What else do you want to own?" (Twirls hair)
I'm showing some friends the movie D.E.B.S tonight. I hope no one thinks im a (whisper voice) 𝘓𝘌𝘚𝘉𝘐𝘈𝘕!!
February 10, 2026 at 6:31 PM
I'm showing some friends the movie D.E.B.S tonight. I hope no one thinks im a (whisper voice) 𝘓𝘌𝘚𝘉𝘐𝘈𝘕!!
It's embarrassing to have a kink for feeling embarrassed which works out pretty well actually.
February 9, 2026 at 7:22 PM
It's embarrassing to have a kink for feeling embarrassed which works out pretty well actually.
I watched Lord of the Rings on acid once and all i could think was "omg these pouty twinks are so hot."
February 8, 2026 at 11:53 PM
I watched Lord of the Rings on acid once and all i could think was "omg these pouty twinks are so hot."
At the party sitting on the fridge to feel more confident like a cat in a cat-tree.
February 8, 2026 at 10:47 PM
At the party sitting on the fridge to feel more confident like a cat in a cat-tree.
Reposted by Lora Bites ✨
the time has come for lesbian austin powers
February 8, 2026 at 9:47 PM
the time has come for lesbian austin powers
Stumbled into a gay bar last night and now i cant stop thinking about how somewhere out there, there is a picture of me surrounded by shirtless gay guys in pup masks lol
February 7, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Stumbled into a gay bar last night and now i cant stop thinking about how somewhere out there, there is a picture of me surrounded by shirtless gay guys in pup masks lol
I watched the movie Pillion and i was fine with all the raunchy gay sex scenes but i think them being British is taking it too far. We live in a society.
February 6, 2026 at 9:26 PM
I watched the movie Pillion and i was fine with all the raunchy gay sex scenes but i think them being British is taking it too far. We live in a society.
I feel like we all should've noticed the economy was going downhill when there started being so many restaurants that would market themselves as "we're a lil different cuz we put the food in a bowl."
February 6, 2026 at 4:29 PM
I feel like we all should've noticed the economy was going downhill when there started being so many restaurants that would market themselves as "we're a lil different cuz we put the food in a bowl."
I meet a lot of ppl and have a bad memory so my phone contacts are filled with stuff like:
Sarah - spat in my face at party
Melissa - domme with split tongue
Spazz - did K in parking lot
Grandma
Sarah - spat in my face at party
Melissa - domme with split tongue
Spazz - did K in parking lot
Grandma
February 5, 2026 at 10:18 PM
I meet a lot of ppl and have a bad memory so my phone contacts are filled with stuff like:
Sarah - spat in my face at party
Melissa - domme with split tongue
Spazz - did K in parking lot
Grandma
Sarah - spat in my face at party
Melissa - domme with split tongue
Spazz - did K in parking lot
Grandma
Love opening onlyfans and seeing 55 notifications but they're all from just 1 guy liking all my posts but not buying anything lol
February 2, 2026 at 6:40 PM
Love opening onlyfans and seeing 55 notifications but they're all from just 1 guy liking all my posts but not buying anything lol
Im judging ppl that care about the Emmys and Grammys the way other ppl like to make fun of football fans by calling it sports-ball. If you care about award ceremonies, you're a freakin nerd!
February 2, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Im judging ppl that care about the Emmys and Grammys the way other ppl like to make fun of football fans by calling it sports-ball. If you care about award ceremonies, you're a freakin nerd!
In retrospect, i think the conspiracy theories about lizard people controlling the world was more right than it was wrong.
February 1, 2026 at 9:46 PM
In retrospect, i think the conspiracy theories about lizard people controlling the world was more right than it was wrong.
Ive been developing a new humiliation kink where i just lose to my girlfriend at Scrabble everytime we meet.
January 31, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Ive been developing a new humiliation kink where i just lose to my girlfriend at Scrabble everytime we meet.