Ghost of Lloyd Schumner Sr.
@lloydschumner.bsky.social
Recovering consultant. Yacht rock enthusiast. Independent. More snark please.
Pinned
Capricorn - You will re-discover the Law of Morbid Stupidity that says if voters elect stupid people and those stupid people surround themselves with even stupider people, then society will end up with morbidly stupid outcomes.
Aquarius - Confusion will set in as you recall your own gov’t say that state-sponsored executions of peaceful protesters would trigger ‘strong action’ from your country. Oh wait, never mind, that was directed at some other regime, and not at the inept border enforcement agency in your own country.
January 25, 2026 at 1:42 PM
Aquarius - Confusion will set in as you recall your own gov’t say that state-sponsored executions of peaceful protesters would trigger ‘strong action’ from your country. Oh wait, never mind, that was directed at some other regime, and not at the inept border enforcement agency in your own country.
Pisces - As you look ahead to the new year, you will vow to replace the word ‘unprecedented’ from your vocabulary and will instead use words like ‘moronic’, ‘morbid’, and ‘sick’ to describe the same thing.
December 27, 2025 at 3:24 PM
Pisces - As you look ahead to the new year, you will vow to replace the word ‘unprecedented’ from your vocabulary and will instead use words like ‘moronic’, ‘morbid’, and ‘sick’ to describe the same thing.
Aquarius - Scandals, corruption, lies, in-fighting … meh … you’ll know things have really hit the skids when the doors and hallways of the White House all have labels, like some Richard Scarry Busytown children’s book.
November 17, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Aquarius - Scandals, corruption, lies, in-fighting … meh … you’ll know things have really hit the skids when the doors and hallways of the White House all have labels, like some Richard Scarry Busytown children’s book.
Cancer - Well, it’s official. You now live in a country where a teenage boy takes more precautions when covering up his online surfing activity than the highest ranking members of the regime take when discussing war plans.
March 25, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Cancer - Well, it’s official. You now live in a country where a teenage boy takes more precautions when covering up his online surfing activity than the highest ranking members of the regime take when discussing war plans.
Capricorn - You won’t let yourself be dejected this week by the dumb, dithering, delusional, diaper-wearing, dunderheaded, DOGE-enabling dipshit.
March 8, 2025 at 12:02 PM
Capricorn - You won’t let yourself be dejected this week by the dumb, dithering, delusional, diaper-wearing, dunderheaded, DOGE-enabling dipshit.
Sagittarius - You will have a vivid dream that the artists who created ‘Welcome to the Occupation’ and ‘Ignoreland’ agree to pause their retirement temporarily to make another masterpiece called ‘Welcome to the Kakistocracy’.
March 2, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Sagittarius - You will have a vivid dream that the artists who created ‘Welcome to the Occupation’ and ‘Ignoreland’ agree to pause their retirement temporarily to make another masterpiece called ‘Welcome to the Kakistocracy’.
Pisces - You will spontaneously wish that you could be transported back to the 1980s when your biggest challenges in life were discovering static cling in your laundry and coming to terms with the fact that the vice president couldn’t spell ‘potato’.
February 22, 2025 at 2:57 AM
Pisces - You will spontaneously wish that you could be transported back to the 1980s when your biggest challenges in life were discovering static cling in your laundry and coming to terms with the fact that the vice president couldn’t spell ‘potato’.
Scorpio - Sure, it’s been non-stop bad news all week. But, here’s the silver lining: your agent’s not going to call you to star in a commercial for an OTC remedy for diarrhea.
February 18, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Scorpio - Sure, it’s been non-stop bad news all week. But, here’s the silver lining: your agent’s not going to call you to star in a commercial for an OTC remedy for diarrhea.
Taurus - Sure, you’ve done a lot of stupid stuff in your life, but the one thing you won’t do this week is invest in crypto.
February 10, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Taurus - Sure, you’ve done a lot of stupid stuff in your life, but the one thing you won’t do this week is invest in crypto.
Aries - You will move on from saying ‘Elect a clown, expect a circus’ in favor of ‘Leave a presidential election up to a few thousand selfish, ignorant, hypocritical, and out-of-touch people in a few rural counties, expect an absolute shit-show’.
February 3, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Aries - You will move on from saying ‘Elect a clown, expect a circus’ in favor of ‘Leave a presidential election up to a few thousand selfish, ignorant, hypocritical, and out-of-touch people in a few rural counties, expect an absolute shit-show’.
Virgo - You will unconsciously change your mantra from ‘Thank you, I can handle this’ to ‘Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for this’.
January 26, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Virgo - You will unconsciously change your mantra from ‘Thank you, I can handle this’ to ‘Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for this’.
Gemini - You will feel as though you are trapped in a Groundhog Day scenario yet again as The Party That Cleans Up The Mess gives way to The Party That Makes A Mess.
January 18, 2025 at 11:15 AM
Gemini - You will feel as though you are trapped in a Groundhog Day scenario yet again as The Party That Cleans Up The Mess gives way to The Party That Makes A Mess.
Libra - There is no way to sugarcoat it. After saying farewell to an honest and decent man who helped his fellow human beings until his last breath on this planet, you will then have to endure the second coronation of a convicted felon who has never helped another soul in his entire pampered life.
January 11, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Libra - There is no way to sugarcoat it. After saying farewell to an honest and decent man who helped his fellow human beings until his last breath on this planet, you will then have to endure the second coronation of a convicted felon who has never helped another soul in his entire pampered life.
Leo - They say that every journey begins with a first step. Unfortunately, this saying does not apply to your New Year’s resolutions which you’ll abandon before taking any first steps.
January 4, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Leo - They say that every journey begins with a first step. Unfortunately, this saying does not apply to your New Year’s resolutions which you’ll abandon before taking any first steps.
Aquarius - Just when you thought you’ve heard it all this year, you will be told that you looked better before you plucked the hair growing out of your nose and your ears.
December 28, 2024 at 1:30 PM
Aquarius - Just when you thought you’ve heard it all this year, you will be told that you looked better before you plucked the hair growing out of your nose and your ears.
Cancer - You will cherish New Year’s Day not because it offers a fresh start, but rather because it closes out yet another insufferable ‘holiday season’ filled with long lines, cringey holiday cards, traffic jams, empty calories, and awkward family interactions.
December 22, 2024 at 12:46 PM
Cancer - You will cherish New Year’s Day not because it offers a fresh start, but rather because it closes out yet another insufferable ‘holiday season’ filled with long lines, cringey holiday cards, traffic jams, empty calories, and awkward family interactions.
Capricorn - You will re-discover the Law of Morbid Stupidity that says if voters elect stupid people and those stupid people surround themselves with even stupider people, then society will end up with morbidly stupid outcomes.
December 13, 2024 at 11:55 PM
Capricorn - You will re-discover the Law of Morbid Stupidity that says if voters elect stupid people and those stupid people surround themselves with even stupider people, then society will end up with morbidly stupid outcomes.
Sagittarius - This week, you may find yourself chopping your left forearm with your right hand, and you may ask yourself, “My God, why is my life playing out, same as it ever was, exactly as described in the iconic song ‘Once in a Lifetime’?”
December 7, 2024 at 1:12 PM
Sagittarius - This week, you may find yourself chopping your left forearm with your right hand, and you may ask yourself, “My God, why is my life playing out, same as it ever was, exactly as described in the iconic song ‘Once in a Lifetime’?”
Pisces - Make no mistake, you will humiliate yourself at work, yet again, this week. This episode will quickly be eclipsed by a feeling of humiliation & horror of living in a country led by a corrupt, air-jerking dotard.
November 29, 2024 at 4:25 PM
Pisces - Make no mistake, you will humiliate yourself at work, yet again, this week. This episode will quickly be eclipsed by a feeling of humiliation & horror of living in a country led by a corrupt, air-jerking dotard.
Scorpio - You will learn the hard way that beef jerky does not have an infinite shelf life. After regaining consciousness, you will have an epiphany that perhaps an unregulated space program that permits billionaires to travel to Mars may not be a bad idea after all.
November 23, 2024 at 2:20 AM
Scorpio - You will learn the hard way that beef jerky does not have an infinite shelf life. After regaining consciousness, you will have an epiphany that perhaps an unregulated space program that permits billionaires to travel to Mars may not be a bad idea after all.
Reposted by Ghost of Lloyd Schumner Sr.
This is how elephants protect their babies..
November 20, 2024 at 6:37 AM
This is how elephants protect their babies..
Reposted by Ghost of Lloyd Schumner Sr.
The sky is blue.. 🦋
November 16, 2024 at 9:50 AM
The sky is blue.. 🦋
Reposted by Ghost of Lloyd Schumner Sr.
The Onion bought Infowars in bankruptcy and the universe feels like it came back into a bit of alignment.
November 14, 2024 at 3:13 PM
The Onion bought Infowars in bankruptcy and the universe feels like it came back into a bit of alignment.
Reposted by Ghost of Lloyd Schumner Sr.
NEW: The ONION just bough Alex Jones’ Info Wars. Not kidding. They really did.
November 14, 2024 at 2:18 PM
NEW: The ONION just bough Alex Jones’ Info Wars. Not kidding. They really did.
Reposted by Ghost of Lloyd Schumner Sr.
We are R.E.M. Lyrics and we deleted our twitter account because of the actions of Elon Musk.
We send out R.E.M. stuff and just try to be nice.
Follow me if you like
We send out R.E.M. stuff and just try to be nice.
Follow me if you like
November 14, 2024 at 12:03 AM
We are R.E.M. Lyrics and we deleted our twitter account because of the actions of Elon Musk.
We send out R.E.M. stuff and just try to be nice.
Follow me if you like
We send out R.E.M. stuff and just try to be nice.
Follow me if you like