Leon’s Existential Cafe
@leonscafe.bsky.social
Mental Health Counselor and writer, using ideas as medicine.
As is common in perfectionism, to Marty Bauser, the world was divided between the winners and losers, and he was going to do anything to become a winner. And that’s where the common person is superior to the arrogant Marty; they don’t sacrifice their soul. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
'Marty Supreme' and Perfectionism's Degradation of Spirit
Marty Mauser embodies the American Dream, causing us to look into the mirror to judge the sacrifices we make for success, status, and self-approval.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 28, 2025 at 1:44 PM
As is common in perfectionism, to Marty Bauser, the world was divided between the winners and losers, and he was going to do anything to become a winner. And that’s where the common person is superior to the arrogant Marty; they don’t sacrifice their soul. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
As a perfectionist, I easily saw myself in Marty: the inability to lose or take responsibility, the tantrums and pain of feeling inferior to anyone, the grandiosity in believing you’re special, and a sense that others in your life are secondary characters. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
'Marty Supreme' and Perfectionism's Degradation of Spirit
Marty Mauser embodies the American Dream, causing us to look into the mirror to judge the sacrifices we make for success, status, and self-approval.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 28, 2025 at 2:54 AM
As a perfectionist, I easily saw myself in Marty: the inability to lose or take responsibility, the tantrums and pain of feeling inferior to anyone, the grandiosity in believing you’re special, and a sense that others in your life are secondary characters. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Perfectionism, like any addiction, is full of excuses—“I’ll become a better person once I’m successful.” “I’ll make sure to take care of others when I’m able to.” “They’ll understand since this is for the best.” Marty lies, cheats, and degrades himself. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
'Marty Supreme' and Perfectionism's Degradation of Spirit
Marty Mauser embodies the American Dream, causing us to look into the mirror to judge the sacrifices we make for success, status, and self-approval.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 27, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Perfectionism, like any addiction, is full of excuses—“I’ll become a better person once I’m successful.” “I’ll make sure to take care of others when I’m able to.” “They’ll understand since this is for the best.” Marty lies, cheats, and degrades himself. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Like the gangster films of the past, Marty Supreme is a fantasy of what and who we could be if we had no shame, but he’s no hero. The childish perfectionist in me rooted for him, recalling my own excuses and unwillingness to concern myself with others. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
'Marty Supreme' and Perfectionism's Degradation of Spirit
Marty Mauser embodies the American Dream, causing us to look into the mirror to judge the sacrifices we make for success, status, and self-approval.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 27, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Like the gangster films of the past, Marty Supreme is a fantasy of what and who we could be if we had no shame, but he’s no hero. The childish perfectionist in me rooted for him, recalling my own excuses and unwillingness to concern myself with others. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
I pitied his stupidity in believing his achievements would make him love himself. I pitied him for allowing himself to be humiliated, for having no self-respect. And I pitied him for his inability to find value in who he was, rather than what he could do. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
'Marty Supreme' and Perfectionism's Degradation of Spirit
Marty Mauser embodies the American Dream, causing us to look into the mirror to judge the sacrifices we make for success, status, and self-approval.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 27, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I pitied his stupidity in believing his achievements would make him love himself. I pitied him for allowing himself to be humiliated, for having no self-respect. And I pitied him for his inability to find value in who he was, rather than what he could do. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
#MartySupreme is, at once, the embodiment of perfectionism, narcissism, greed, moxie, passion, genius, and cultural degradation. The protagonist, Marty Mauser, elicits all of your feelings because you can’t make sense of how you should feel about him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
'Marty Supreme' and Perfectionism's Degradation of Spirit
Marty Mauser embodies the American Dream, causing us to look into the mirror to judge the sacrifices we make for success, status, and self-approval.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 27, 2025 at 6:13 PM
#MartySupreme is, at once, the embodiment of perfectionism, narcissism, greed, moxie, passion, genius, and cultural degradation. The protagonist, Marty Mauser, elicits all of your feelings because you can’t make sense of how you should feel about him. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
In bipolar disorder, fighting, trying, and exerting go nowhere in any way that would matter. The exit is an illusion supported by the immense optimism gifted by the purportedly sublime pursuit of perfection. The reality is one can only learn to modulate. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Chasing Perfection in Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar II disorder prevents me from experiencing joy a lot of the time, and when I do, it's because I'm hoping for something better.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 27, 2025 at 2:28 PM
In bipolar disorder, fighting, trying, and exerting go nowhere in any way that would matter. The exit is an illusion supported by the immense optimism gifted by the purportedly sublime pursuit of perfection. The reality is one can only learn to modulate. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
December 27, 2025 at 12:59 AM
One can trace the obsessive need to always be the best back to one’s childhood, assigning blame to a demanding parent or one who wasn’t able to hide that they felt disappointed by their sensitive child. But this only tells us a partial story. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
The Perfectionist's Misguided Need to Always Be the Best
Perfectionists often fixate on becoming the best in some important domain, yet this is a misguided way to define oneself and feel secure in one's place in the world.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 27, 2025 at 12:11 AM
One can trace the obsessive need to always be the best back to one’s childhood, assigning blame to a demanding parent or one who wasn’t able to hide that they felt disappointed by their sensitive child. But this only tells us a partial story. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Anger, resentment, bitterness, and envyare sacrificed for an idyllic state as the perfectionist directs them inward, blaming themself for being a bad child, spouse, employee, or friend — for being ungrateful. The problem becomes oversimplified. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Am I a Bad Person for Having Bad Thoughts?
Moral perfectionism is the preoccupation with cultivating only good deeds and only good thoughts and feelings about others, stemming from an intense fear of punishment.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 26, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Anger, resentment, bitterness, and envyare sacrificed for an idyllic state as the perfectionist directs them inward, blaming themself for being a bad child, spouse, employee, or friend — for being ungrateful. The problem becomes oversimplified. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Shame shouldn’t serve us as much as the community. Feeling shame is mainly for the benefit of others. The perfectionist is implored to ask themself: How does shaming yourself for your thoughts affect others? Do they expect or even want perfection from you? www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Am I a Bad Person for Having Bad Thoughts?
Moral perfectionism is the preoccupation with cultivating only good deeds and only good thoughts and feelings about others, stemming from an intense fear of punishment.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 26, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Shame shouldn’t serve us as much as the community. Feeling shame is mainly for the benefit of others. The perfectionist is implored to ask themself: How does shaming yourself for your thoughts affect others? Do they expect or even want perfection from you? www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Maybe most importantly, even paradoxically: Just allowing yourself to feel anger toward another, not shaming yourself for it, may defuse your internal, emotional conflict, thus quieting your rage. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Am I a Bad Person for Having Bad Thoughts?
Moral perfectionism is the preoccupation with cultivating only good deeds and only good thoughts and feelings about others, stemming from an intense fear of punishment.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 25, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Maybe most importantly, even paradoxically: Just allowing yourself to feel anger toward another, not shaming yourself for it, may defuse your internal, emotional conflict, thus quieting your rage. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Schopenhauer’s life offers us another beautiful presentation of the exhilarating and inspiring myth of grit, perseverance, and, most importantly, self-assurance, also embodied in the new film, #MartySupreme. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Schopenhauer's Advice to Gifted Children
Arthur Schopenhauer's wisdom applies to gifted children and young adults, who often obsess over attaining external validation and finding objective meaning.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Schopenhauer’s life offers us another beautiful presentation of the exhilarating and inspiring myth of grit, perseverance, and, most importantly, self-assurance, also embodied in the new film, #MartySupreme. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
December 25, 2025 at 4:19 PM
While disdaining weakness, one’s goal here is often to rise above one’s circumstances, both internal and external. Anger, resentment, bitterness, and envyare sacrificed for an idyllic state as the perfectionist directs them inward, blaming themself. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Am I a Bad Person for Having Bad Thoughts?
Moral perfectionism is the preoccupation with cultivating only good deeds and only good thoughts and feelings about others, stemming from an intense fear of punishment.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 25, 2025 at 3:56 PM
While disdaining weakness, one’s goal here is often to rise above one’s circumstances, both internal and external. Anger, resentment, bitterness, and envyare sacrificed for an idyllic state as the perfectionist directs them inward, blaming themself. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
December 25, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Many of our perfectionist patients continue to live in fear of their negative thoughts and feelings, believing they are a bad son or daughter if, at times, hating a parent or a bad spouse when dreamingof a happier marriage with someone else. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Am I a Bad Person for Having Bad Thoughts?
Moral perfectionism is the preoccupation with cultivating only good deeds and only good thoughts and feelings about others, stemming from an intense fear of punishment.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Many of our perfectionist patients continue to live in fear of their negative thoughts and feelings, believing they are a bad son or daughter if, at times, hating a parent or a bad spouse when dreamingof a happier marriage with someone else. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
In small doses, shame can and should be potent; however, its excessive use may betray its communal purpose. Fundamentally, shame shouldn’t serve us as much as the broader community. Feeling shame is mainly for the benefit of others. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Am I a Bad Person for Having Bad Thoughts?
Moral perfectionism is the preoccupation with cultivating only good deeds and only good thoughts and feelings about others, stemming from an intense fear of punishment.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 24, 2025 at 8:02 PM
In small doses, shame can and should be potent; however, its excessive use may betray its communal purpose. Fundamentally, shame shouldn’t serve us as much as the broader community. Feeling shame is mainly for the benefit of others. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Often raised in an environment that demands pure harmony, perfectionism may be reinforced by the imparted belief that “bad” thoughts are as bad as bad actions, especially by a parent who can’t handle an upset or even an ungrateful child. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Am I a Bad Person for Having Bad Thoughts?
Moral perfectionism is the preoccupation with cultivating only good deeds and only good thoughts and feelings about others, stemming from an intense fear of punishment.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 24, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Often raised in an environment that demands pure harmony, perfectionism may be reinforced by the imparted belief that “bad” thoughts are as bad as bad actions, especially by a parent who can’t handle an upset or even an ungrateful child. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Therapy is, in large part, a way of owning your part in your struggles. For the perfectionist, it may mean challenging your excessive need for status, control, and success and your tendency to overemphasize their value. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
The Perfectionist's Misguided Need to Always Be the Best
Perfectionists often fixate on becoming the best in some important domain, yet this is a misguided way to define oneself and feel secure in one's place in the world.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 24, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Therapy is, in large part, a way of owning your part in your struggles. For the perfectionist, it may mean challenging your excessive need for status, control, and success and your tendency to overemphasize their value. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
The euphoria stems, for the most part, from hope. So, the reality, regardless of form, is secondary—little more than a means to an end. As someone with bipolar II disorder, I can tell you that it’s difficult to enjoy much of anything for its own sake. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Chasing Perfection in Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar II disorder prevents me from experiencing joy a lot of the time, and when I do, it's because I'm hoping for something better.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 24, 2025 at 1:55 AM
The euphoria stems, for the most part, from hope. So, the reality, regardless of form, is secondary—little more than a means to an end. As someone with bipolar II disorder, I can tell you that it’s difficult to enjoy much of anything for its own sake. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Jonathan Shedler wrote, “While it may seem to be about the other person, the guilty person’s focus is really themselves. Remorse is relational.” Moral perfectionism is less about connecting and more about self-preservation and, as importantly, pride. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Moral Perfectionism and the Selfishness of Shame
Moral perfectionism is associated with excessive pride, which often blinds us from others' needs while making us falsely believe that we're good and thoughtful people.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 24, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Jonathan Shedler wrote, “While it may seem to be about the other person, the guilty person’s focus is really themselves. Remorse is relational.” Moral perfectionism is less about connecting and more about self-preservation and, as importantly, pride. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Simple but true: We have to accept that we’ll sometimes be a “burden” when we’re feeling weak. When viewed only at the extreme ends of the spectrum, identity will feel black and white, so needing help or not knowing something can make us feel useless. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
The Perfectionist's Misguided Need to Always Be the Best
Perfectionists often fixate on becoming the best in some important domain, yet this is a misguided way to define oneself and feel secure in one's place in the world.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 23, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Simple but true: We have to accept that we’ll sometimes be a “burden” when we’re feeling weak. When viewed only at the extreme ends of the spectrum, identity will feel black and white, so needing help or not knowing something can make us feel useless. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Giving up hope for a better past means giving up hope of proving you’re special and giving up hope of finding an explanation of your past that has you at its center, as though suffering is always founded on a benevolent (at least sensical) grander plan. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
You Must Give Up Hope for a Better Past
Perfectionism often involves a preoccupation with cultivating emotional security while trying to comprehend and make up for childhood trauma.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 23, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Giving up hope for a better past means giving up hope of proving you’re special and giving up hope of finding an explanation of your past that has you at its center, as though suffering is always founded on a benevolent (at least sensical) grander plan. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Grief symbolizes honesty, maturity, hope, and gratitude; it symbolizes that we cared and how much we can continue to. Grief is difficult to acknowledge and bear, but it’s the real medicine, not the fantasy of what should have been. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...
Perfectionism Is a Misguided Way to Avoid Grief
Perfectionists tend to believe they can make up for lost opportunities and failures, yet grieving them is the better way to find meaning and happiness in the present.
www.psychologytoday.com
December 23, 2025 at 7:08 PM
Grief symbolizes honesty, maturity, hope, and gratitude; it symbolizes that we cared and how much we can continue to. Grief is difficult to acknowledge and bear, but it’s the real medicine, not the fantasy of what should have been. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/perf...