Lapsed Academic
@lapsedacademic.bsky.social
Well-meaning curmudgeon, dreamer of dreams, more muppet than man. Trained in the Academy, living in reality. INFP-T. #runningpunks #straightedge
If someone gave me $500 for a date night with my wife I would…
Make ramen and pay the electricity bill.
Make ramen and pay the electricity bill.
July 17, 2025 at 11:35 AM
If someone gave me $500 for a date night with my wife I would…
Make ramen and pay the electricity bill.
Make ramen and pay the electricity bill.
I only cook fusilli so I can tell people I’m feeling “fu-silly”.
June 4, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I only cook fusilli so I can tell people I’m feeling “fu-silly”.
How rainy has it been this month?
They closed the football (soccer) pitches for 4 days proactively due to water buildup.
4 days.
Football pitches.
Can you even play dry?
They closed the football (soccer) pitches for 4 days proactively due to water buildup.
4 days.
Football pitches.
Can you even play dry?
May 23, 2025 at 2:02 PM
How rainy has it been this month?
They closed the football (soccer) pitches for 4 days proactively due to water buildup.
4 days.
Football pitches.
Can you even play dry?
They closed the football (soccer) pitches for 4 days proactively due to water buildup.
4 days.
Football pitches.
Can you even play dry?
Fellow unemployed people…I’m still newish to this…but…
How many times a day is it ok to cry?
How many times a day is it ok to cry?
May 22, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Fellow unemployed people…I’m still newish to this…but…
How many times a day is it ok to cry?
How many times a day is it ok to cry?
Some days I’m convinced I can do a standing front flip…
Then I remember that I’ve never been able to do that and I’m 40 and I hurt my back sneezing the other day.
Then I remember that I’ve never been able to do that and I’m 40 and I hurt my back sneezing the other day.
May 11, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Some days I’m convinced I can do a standing front flip…
Then I remember that I’ve never been able to do that and I’m 40 and I hurt my back sneezing the other day.
Then I remember that I’ve never been able to do that and I’m 40 and I hurt my back sneezing the other day.
Just a reminder, birds aren’t real.
May 7, 2025 at 11:58 AM
Just a reminder, birds aren’t real.
Russian Assets = Canadian Liabilities.
April 20, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Russian Assets = Canadian Liabilities.
I’m only medium depressed.
Baseline depressed.
No big deal.
Baseline depressed.
No big deal.
April 14, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I’m only medium depressed.
Baseline depressed.
No big deal.
Baseline depressed.
No big deal.
Happy Rex Manning Day!
April 8, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Happy Rex Manning Day!
Sooo…I guess I feel vindicated now for not investing all these years?
Glad I enjoyed all that avocado toast and espresso drinks.
Glad I enjoyed all that avocado toast and espresso drinks.
April 8, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Sooo…I guess I feel vindicated now for not investing all these years?
Glad I enjoyed all that avocado toast and espresso drinks.
Glad I enjoyed all that avocado toast and espresso drinks.
Wait…I thought Russell Brand was already a sex offender…
April 5, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Wait…I thought Russell Brand was already a sex offender…
This is the 7th consecutive week that I’ve been sick.
I know that I’ve exceeded the average male life expectancy from 1800…but middle age sucks.
I know that I’ve exceeded the average male life expectancy from 1800…but middle age sucks.
April 1, 2025 at 3:20 PM
This is the 7th consecutive week that I’ve been sick.
I know that I’ve exceeded the average male life expectancy from 1800…but middle age sucks.
I know that I’ve exceeded the average male life expectancy from 1800…but middle age sucks.
6 year old: “who’s that guy again? Donny Llama?”
Me: “the Dalai Lama?”
6 year old: “yea that it”
Me: “the Dalai Lama?”
6 year old: “yea that it”
March 25, 2025 at 11:13 PM
6 year old: “who’s that guy again? Donny Llama?”
Me: “the Dalai Lama?”
6 year old: “yea that it”
Me: “the Dalai Lama?”
6 year old: “yea that it”
Just found out about the Impractical Jokers…
Who are they?
Why didn’t people get the ick from them the moment they saw them?
Who are they?
Why didn’t people get the ick from them the moment they saw them?
March 24, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Just found out about the Impractical Jokers…
Who are they?
Why didn’t people get the ick from them the moment they saw them?
Who are they?
Why didn’t people get the ick from them the moment they saw them?
I am chaotic neutral, leaning chaotic good, but mostly chaotic.
March 23, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I am chaotic neutral, leaning chaotic good, but mostly chaotic.
Just hit my 200 day streak of Reddit activity.
I’m 40.
Ugh, this is not the life I dreamed of.
I’m 40.
Ugh, this is not the life I dreamed of.
March 19, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Just hit my 200 day streak of Reddit activity.
I’m 40.
Ugh, this is not the life I dreamed of.
I’m 40.
Ugh, this is not the life I dreamed of.
I trust gas station sushi way more than I trust Pierre Poilievre, but I’m still not buying it.
March 15, 2025 at 7:00 PM
I trust gas station sushi way more than I trust Pierre Poilievre, but I’m still not buying it.
Reposted by Lapsed Academic
Welp, sold out in 30min
March 13, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Welp, sold out in 30min
What do you call it when you find social situations so overwhelming that you’d rather awkwardly walk around the block pretending to be on the phone than going in and talking to people?
March 13, 2025 at 11:50 PM
What do you call it when you find social situations so overwhelming that you’d rather awkwardly walk around the block pretending to be on the phone than going in and talking to people?
Things I hate:
Meeting new people.
Social situations.
Meeting new people in social situations.
Meeting new people.
Social situations.
Meeting new people in social situations.
March 13, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Things I hate:
Meeting new people.
Social situations.
Meeting new people in social situations.
Meeting new people.
Social situations.
Meeting new people in social situations.
Reposted by Lapsed Academic
Evening Blueskyers.
Spelling is important. 😂😂😂
Spelling is important. 😂😂😂
March 12, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Evening Blueskyers.
Spelling is important. 😂😂😂
Spelling is important. 😂😂😂
I have two morning states:
1) Grumpy Prick
2) Toxic Positivity
Not sure which my family hates more.
1) Grumpy Prick
2) Toxic Positivity
Not sure which my family hates more.
March 13, 2025 at 10:52 AM
I have two morning states:
1) Grumpy Prick
2) Toxic Positivity
Not sure which my family hates more.
1) Grumpy Prick
2) Toxic Positivity
Not sure which my family hates more.
It’s not lost on me that my coffee pot clock always runs about 10 minutes fast.
March 13, 2025 at 10:49 AM
It’s not lost on me that my coffee pot clock always runs about 10 minutes fast.