So y’all are scared to vaccinate your kids, but diving into a haunted murder lake is fine?

I never trusted Stone Mountain.
It just sits there, watching. Like it knows what it is. 🤨

Fun fact: That whole ‘you have to disclose a haunted house’ thing is about as real as ‘a cop has to tell you they’re a cop.’ That’s just TV logic. In Georgia, sellers don’t have to tell you anything. Which is great for all the houses around me. 🌊 🏡

Someone said they were going to report me to my supervisor 😂😂🤣

Go talk to my boss. You mean the thing that stirs beneath me, created when they destroyed a black town and turned the land into water and thought the past wouldn’t mind. Good luck with that.

That press conference made me embarrassed, and y’all know my horrible history. Fuck Donald Trump. God bless Ukraine.

Breaking: Elon’s DOGE minions just fired the druids who’ve been praying and chanting at my shores since 1956, the only thing keeping me somewhat contained. Something about DEI and not liking the men wearing cloaks.

I see y'all installing fancy water filters in your homes. Do you think a Brita is gonna remove my essence from your drinking supply? I'm in your pipes, your ice cubes, your bloodstream, your dreams. 💧👻

Good morning, Atlanta! Enjoying that tap water? That's 75% me flowing through your pipes, your showers, your coffee makers.
Every time you take a sip, you're letting a little piece of me inside you. Sweet dreams about that tonight.💧

I really do wish Elon would come visit