Got my second hole in one recently. Not bad for an old broken man.

Today is 10 years of no alcohol for me. Never thought I'd get this far. To be able to stay sober with all that has happened the last decade, I deserve a fucking medal.

Cool. My kid is going to know how to suplex someone while yelling a slur before they know what 2 plus 2 is.

I mean, he kinda speaks to me

*Donald Trump writing a scathing review of The Constitution on Yelp*

The blue check mark on your Twitter account is the new scarlet letter to tell everyone that you're a walking septic tank.

Remember when Musk created a flame thrower that he wanted to sell to the general public and everyone was all lol what a quirky genius and now he's a fuckin nazi and maybe that was one of many red flags

This is what happens when you let a kitten be raised by a Kyle.