Mr Darcy walking toward me in the misty sunrise only he’s just three bags of peanut butter m&ms in a trench coat
November 17, 2025 at 6:23 AM
Mr Darcy walking toward me in the misty sunrise only he’s just three bags of peanut butter m&ms in a trench coat
“It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings” said Galadriel, an elf
November 14, 2025 at 8:17 PM
“It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings” said Galadriel, an elf
One of my special skills is waiting to eat until I get hangry that you’re not feeding me
October 18, 2025 at 8:12 PM
One of my special skills is waiting to eat until I get hangry that you’re not feeding me
Anybody can interact, but will anybody interact? One like = one prayer, say amen and get a squirrel to cross your path
October 7, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Anybody can interact, but will anybody interact? One like = one prayer, say amen and get a squirrel to cross your path
Idk man, if my mother was with apple cider vinegar idk if I’d BRAG about it
October 5, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Idk man, if my mother was with apple cider vinegar idk if I’d BRAG about it
A Hot Pocket is also a ravioli
October 5, 2025 at 1:26 AM
A Hot Pocket is also a ravioli
Talking to my nipples like “what is it, girl? What are you pointing at?”
September 8, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Talking to my nipples like “what is it, girl? What are you pointing at?”
I really don’t want to go to sleep in case it happens and I miss it
August 30, 2025 at 7:27 AM
I really don’t want to go to sleep in case it happens and I miss it
Based on what I know I just assume all British guys’ cum tastes like Worcestershire sauce
August 23, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Based on what I know I just assume all British guys’ cum tastes like Worcestershire sauce
I just swallowed my coffee wrong and basically died at this coffee shop and the guy next to me got up and left. Life hack!
P.S. new band name, Coughing! At the Coffee Shop
P.S. new band name, Coughing! At the Coffee Shop
August 19, 2025 at 9:11 AM
I just swallowed my coffee wrong and basically died at this coffee shop and the guy next to me got up and left. Life hack!
P.S. new band name, Coughing! At the Coffee Shop
P.S. new band name, Coughing! At the Coffee Shop
I hate being hungry in the middle of the night because I have to tell myself no, and myself really doesn’t like that
August 5, 2025 at 10:22 AM
I hate being hungry in the middle of the night because I have to tell myself no, and myself really doesn’t like that
My hobbies include adding items to an online shopping cart at 2am
July 30, 2025 at 9:28 AM
My hobbies include adding items to an online shopping cart at 2am
Just once I’d like to thrown down my enemy and smite his ruin upon the mountainside
July 28, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Just once I’d like to thrown down my enemy and smite his ruin upon the mountainside
In the Cars universe the reality tv show was called The Wheel World
July 24, 2025 at 7:21 AM
In the Cars universe the reality tv show was called The Wheel World
Going to the dispensary after therapy is another form of therapy
July 16, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Going to the dispensary after therapy is another form of therapy
I had a salad for lunch and then 16 handfuls of Cheetos for lunch dessert
July 15, 2025 at 8:38 PM
I had a salad for lunch and then 16 handfuls of Cheetos for lunch dessert
Omg what if Korg from Thor called Thor “Thorg”
Yes, I’m high
Yes, I’m high
July 12, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Omg what if Korg from Thor called Thor “Thorg”
Yes, I’m high
Yes, I’m high
I’m like a dog because I want love but I’m just out of reach
July 3, 2025 at 6:58 PM
I’m like a dog because I want love but I’m just out of reach
I fought the nap and the nap won
July 2, 2025 at 12:25 AM
I fought the nap and the nap won
If they’re so worried about a Muslim person in power, then they should be supporting the separation of church and state but lmao
June 27, 2025 at 4:56 PM
If they’re so worried about a Muslim person in power, then they should be supporting the separation of church and state but lmao
Just looked at the clock on the microwave. It’s 12 seconds o’clock
June 25, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Just looked at the clock on the microwave. It’s 12 seconds o’clock
Every yoga pose I see I’m like “I can totally do that” but lemme tell you I totally can no
June 25, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Every yoga pose I see I’m like “I can totally do that” but lemme tell you I totally can no
I’m American. If I want to go for a nice walk I driver there first
June 24, 2025 at 7:39 PM
I’m American. If I want to go for a nice walk I driver there first