KalansPhantom 🍐🏴☠️🔞 🪢
@kalansphantomff.bsky.social
Pfp by CitrusSyndicate. Banner by SailorsRuin A little insane, a little chaotic, the horny half of Hingeless and Horny. 3 Million words and counting of gay pirates on A03 https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalansPhantom/works
Dances are danced, feelings are feelings, and featuring the absolutely INSANE artwork by @self-induljennt.bsky.social that I need you all to scream with me about. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
January 11, 2026 at 3:50 AM
Dances are danced, feelings are feelings, and featuring the absolutely INSANE artwork by @self-induljennt.bsky.social that I need you all to scream with me about. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
Okay, who's ready for over 15k leading up to the picture I've been staring at all day while writing this scene? Because.... it's coming. TONIGHT. 🍐🍐
January 11, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Okay, who's ready for over 15k leading up to the picture I've been staring at all day while writing this scene? Because.... it's coming. TONIGHT. 🍐🍐
TW: Pet loss.
I know this is a rough subject, but I want to seriously recommend Laps of Love if you're facing the hard decision to let your pet go. We've always gone to our vet (who is absolutely lovely) but this time we used an in home service. I have absolutely no words. 1/
I know this is a rough subject, but I want to seriously recommend Laps of Love if you're facing the hard decision to let your pet go. We've always gone to our vet (who is absolutely lovely) but this time we used an in home service. I have absolutely no words. 1/
January 11, 2026 at 1:06 AM
TW: Pet loss.
I know this is a rough subject, but I want to seriously recommend Laps of Love if you're facing the hard decision to let your pet go. We've always gone to our vet (who is absolutely lovely) but this time we used an in home service. I have absolutely no words. 1/
I know this is a rough subject, but I want to seriously recommend Laps of Love if you're facing the hard decision to let your pet go. We've always gone to our vet (who is absolutely lovely) but this time we used an in home service. I have absolutely no words. 1/
Might upload the next chapter of Tarte tonight, kinda feel like throwing something into the void to end this day on a better note.
January 9, 2026 at 9:52 PM
Might upload the next chapter of Tarte tonight, kinda feel like throwing something into the void to end this day on a better note.
Memorizing your stripes, your whiskers, the way your sides rise and fall. The green of your eyes and rasp of your purr. Seconds tick by tonight too quickly.
Sleep, I'll keep watch.
We'll see the sunrise together, one last time.
Sleep, I'll keep watch.
We'll see the sunrise together, one last time.
January 9, 2026 at 1:20 AM
Memorizing your stripes, your whiskers, the way your sides rise and fall. The green of your eyes and rasp of your purr. Seconds tick by tonight too quickly.
Sleep, I'll keep watch.
We'll see the sunrise together, one last time.
Sleep, I'll keep watch.
We'll see the sunrise together, one last time.
I've been a few places!
January 8, 2026 at 1:51 AM
I've been a few places!
My wife got me this framed print for my birthday, it's one of my most treasured possessions. Absolutely gorgeous tribute to writer that shaped my younger years and love of all things fantasy, scifi and dragons.
Years later, DRAGONWRITER, A TRIBUTE TO ANNE MCCAFFREY AND PERN seemed like the perfect time to realize the final painting from that promising concept set aside all those years ago–with the notable addition of my dear friend Anne on the video screen. 3/3
www.michaelwhelan.com/galleries/dr...
www.michaelwhelan.com/galleries/dr...
January 7, 2026 at 2:31 PM
My wife got me this framed print for my birthday, it's one of my most treasured possessions. Absolutely gorgeous tribute to writer that shaped my younger years and love of all things fantasy, scifi and dragons.
AHEM, this is your reminder that today is THE day. Please enjoy your kink responsibly. 😘
January 7, 2026 at 1:55 PM
AHEM, this is your reminder that today is THE day. Please enjoy your kink responsibly. 😘
Happy #WIPWednesday with a Tarte snippy! Everyone meet Vincent's mum, the character I was gonna kill off ass a plot point and then I loved her too much.
January 7, 2026 at 1:51 PM
Happy #WIPWednesday with a Tarte snippy! Everyone meet Vincent's mum, the character I was gonna kill off ass a plot point and then I loved her too much.
Haha I made myself cry writing Tarte. So, yinz have that to look forward too!!
January 7, 2026 at 12:35 PM
Haha I made myself cry writing Tarte. So, yinz have that to look forward too!!
#TakeTwoTuesday my first Reverse Big Bang archiveofourown.org/works/671539...
January 6, 2026 at 3:29 PM
#TakeTwoTuesday my first Reverse Big Bang archiveofourown.org/works/671539...
All my morning meetings were rescheduled or canceled. I COULD do some busy-work to catch up later OR I could write oodles of fanfic.
We all know what I'm choosing.
We all know what I'm choosing.
a man in a pirate costume is standing on a sandy beach
ALT: a man in a pirate costume is standing on a sandy beach
media.tenor.com
January 6, 2026 at 2:33 PM
All my morning meetings were rescheduled or canceled. I COULD do some busy-work to catch up later OR I could write oodles of fanfic.
We all know what I'm choosing.
We all know what I'm choosing.
Who in the crew is buying this for who? I'm going with Pete buying it for Lucius.
January 6, 2026 at 2:55 AM
Who in the crew is buying this for who? I'm going with Pete buying it for Lucius.
Guess who just said shit instead of shipped in a work zoom call?
a man wearing a white shirt and tie smiles in front of a window
ALT: a man wearing a white shirt and tie smiles in front of a window
media.tenor.com
January 5, 2026 at 8:09 PM
Guess who just said shit instead of shipped in a work zoom call?
Reposted by KalansPhantom 🍐🏴☠️🔞 🪢
Stede's heartbeat follows Ed into his happiest dreams. They'll wake up with a chorus of popped joints and stretch groans, but it's their beat. Their harmony. #OurFlagMeansDeath #ofmd
January 5, 2026 at 6:32 AM
Stede's heartbeat follows Ed into his happiest dreams. They'll wake up with a chorus of popped joints and stretch groans, but it's their beat. Their harmony. #OurFlagMeansDeath #ofmd
Acts snippy
January 4, 2026 at 1:56 PM
Acts snippy
🍐🍐 This week, and the art that's been living as my desktop background for AGES. Im so excited.
January 4, 2026 at 1:26 PM
🍐🍐 This week, and the art that's been living as my desktop background for AGES. Im so excited.
AU idea: Ed's always up for a good time, finds it easy to pick up a partner for a night and knows he leaves them satisfied. And it's... you know, FINE, gets him off, scratches the itch. Until he starts having hookups that all have one thing in common, they met a guy who absolutely blew their mind.
January 4, 2026 at 2:28 AM
AU idea: Ed's always up for a good time, finds it easy to pick up a partner for a night and knows he leaves them satisfied. And it's... you know, FINE, gets him off, scratches the itch. Until he starts having hookups that all have one thing in common, they met a guy who absolutely blew their mind.
Reposted by KalansPhantom 🍐🏴☠️🔞 🪢
Part 3 of mine and @dimplyowl.bsky.social Hunger Games Au has officially begun. Ed now has to be the face of the revolution, and he'll do anything to get Stede back
. #ofmdfanfic
archiveofourown.org/works/769563...
. #ofmdfanfic
archiveofourown.org/works/769563...
January 2, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Part 3 of mine and @dimplyowl.bsky.social Hunger Games Au has officially begun. Ed now has to be the face of the revolution, and he'll do anything to get Stede back
. #ofmdfanfic
archiveofourown.org/works/769563...
. #ofmdfanfic
archiveofourown.org/works/769563...
Can confirm, my cousins and I had INSANE plots for dolls when we played with them. There was more than one poisoning at tea time.
January 3, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Can confirm, my cousins and I had INSANE plots for dolls when we played with them. There was more than one poisoning at tea time.
Why do I think this is a Jack AU somehow.
January 3, 2026 at 2:46 AM
Why do I think this is a Jack AU somehow.
Someone gave me the neatest Christmas tree!
January 2, 2026 at 11:06 PM
Someone gave me the neatest Christmas tree!
Friday afternoon boost!
Chapter 15 is now LIVE complete with NSFW from @artsy-outsider.bsky.social Go scream in their general direction!!
Ed and Stede talk things through, do more than talk, and Stede finds out what really brought Ed to Montana. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
Ed and Stede talk things through, do more than talk, and Stede finds out what really brought Ed to Montana. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
January 2, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Friday afternoon boost!
Rue bringing my horny boys to life
#ofmd #nsfw
Alpha ed sucking down that alpha stede hog, brought to you by @kalansphantomff.bsky.social 's incredible omegaverse fic, Tarte Tatin
Alpha ed sucking down that alpha stede hog, brought to you by @kalansphantomff.bsky.social 's incredible omegaverse fic, Tarte Tatin
January 2, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Rue bringing my horny boys to life
Chapter 15 is now LIVE complete with NSFW from @artsy-outsider.bsky.social Go scream in their general direction!!
Ed and Stede talk things through, do more than talk, and Stede finds out what really brought Ed to Montana. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
Ed and Stede talk things through, do more than talk, and Stede finds out what really brought Ed to Montana. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
January 2, 2026 at 3:16 AM
Chapter 15 is now LIVE complete with NSFW from @artsy-outsider.bsky.social Go scream in their general direction!!
Ed and Stede talk things through, do more than talk, and Stede finds out what really brought Ed to Montana. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...
Ed and Stede talk things through, do more than talk, and Stede finds out what really brought Ed to Montana. archiveofourown.org/works/656799...