the end goal of climate change is mosquitoes everywhere all the time
November 4, 2025 at 3:33 AM
the end goal of climate change is mosquitoes everywhere all the time
(returning the sexually repressed nasa engineer i time traveled to present day from the 1950s back home after a life-changing adventure)
nasa scientist: by golly! these newfangled techniques got me…gooning?
me: nods
50s nerd: more buckets than ever!
nasa scientist: by golly! these newfangled techniques got me…gooning?
me: nods
50s nerd: more buckets than ever!
November 3, 2025 at 11:29 AM
(returning the sexually repressed nasa engineer i time traveled to present day from the 1950s back home after a life-changing adventure)
nasa scientist: by golly! these newfangled techniques got me…gooning?
me: nods
50s nerd: more buckets than ever!
nasa scientist: by golly! these newfangled techniques got me…gooning?
me: nods
50s nerd: more buckets than ever!
getting hit with the “you look like you’ve lost weight again are you doing ok” 9-17 drinks into the monster mash bash and immediately reaching for the gun i illegally conceal carry
November 2, 2025 at 9:37 PM
getting hit with the “you look like you’ve lost weight again are you doing ok” 9-17 drinks into the monster mash bash and immediately reaching for the gun i illegally conceal carry
i'm bringing serfdom back in a big way
October 29, 2025 at 6:12 AM
i'm bringing serfdom back in a big way
serfdom is coming back in a big way
October 29, 2025 at 6:12 AM
serfdom is coming back in a big way
My perpetual stew has started talking to me.
October 28, 2025 at 11:23 PM
My perpetual stew has started talking to me.
they’re putting sour cream in things that never had sour cream before
October 28, 2025 at 11:20 PM
they’re putting sour cream in things that never had sour cream before
i’ve been shunned by local nuns for my knavish lifestyle
October 28, 2025 at 11:15 PM
i’ve been shunned by local nuns for my knavish lifestyle
margaret thatcher can get it
October 28, 2025 at 11:14 PM
margaret thatcher can get it
they’ve got eighth graders with binkies now. it’s over for america
October 28, 2025 at 11:14 PM
they’ve got eighth graders with binkies now. it’s over for america
they put the cloth monkey in my friend’s sixth grade classroom and every single one of them folded instantly
October 28, 2025 at 11:13 PM
they put the cloth monkey in my friend’s sixth grade classroom and every single one of them folded instantly
grandma&s on the comeback—with her new hip and monday-wednesday morning salsa classes .):/she’s hitting the senior dating scene like a runaway train!
October 28, 2025 at 11:12 PM
grandma&s on the comeback—with her new hip and monday-wednesday morning salsa classes .):/she’s hitting the senior dating scene like a runaway train!
i have $30 mil in the bank but can’t use any of it bc it’s all offshore and dirty and idk how to clean it bc my pedophile mentor died from a tragic viagra overdose before my training arc was complete
October 28, 2025 at 11:05 PM
i have $30 mil in the bank but can’t use any of it bc it’s all offshore and dirty and idk how to clean it bc my pedophile mentor died from a tragic viagra overdose before my training arc was complete
pulling a home alone style homicide prank on the well-meaning mormon teenager at my front door
October 28, 2025 at 11:01 PM
pulling a home alone style homicide prank on the well-meaning mormon teenager at my front door
every night i disembowel myself over thoughts of past inactions and then die in my bed and then every morning i wake up no worse for wear and remember that i am in hell forever repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat
October 28, 2025 at 11:00 PM
every night i disembowel myself over thoughts of past inactions and then die in my bed and then every morning i wake up no worse for wear and remember that i am in hell forever repeat repeat repeat repeat repeat
(trying to not kill myself voice) i’m going to kill myself
October 28, 2025 at 10:53 PM
(trying to not kill myself voice) i’m going to kill myself
teeth grinding sounded like laughter
October 10, 2025 at 9:37 AM
teeth grinding sounded like laughter
i'm not even given the grace of having a normal reaction to sleep deprivation, it just jacks up the insanity meter and slaps my ass on the way out
October 10, 2025 at 8:32 AM
i'm not even given the grace of having a normal reaction to sleep deprivation, it just jacks up the insanity meter and slaps my ass on the way out
euthanizing my chud son because i hate him
September 25, 2025 at 7:06 PM
euthanizing my chud son because i hate him
“billions must die” except when it’s me “of the plague” if my thorat gets sore i will kill m.yself
September 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
“billions must die” except when it’s me “of the plague” if my thorat gets sore i will kill m.yself
for the past week i have been abusing a yellowbook mishap to resell dominos pizzas to drunken college students at an outrageous markup
September 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
for the past week i have been abusing a yellowbook mishap to resell dominos pizzas to drunken college students at an outrageous markup
the carfucker from that one reality television program parking illegally and waiting patiently in his to-go foldable cuck chair for the tow truck
September 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
the carfucker from that one reality television program parking illegally and waiting patiently in his to-go foldable cuck chair for the tow truck
there are maybe 7 miuntes of decent filmmaking in this season of chicago fire
September 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
there are maybe 7 miuntes of decent filmmaking in this season of chicago fire
the venue has a fold-out table right outside the mouth of the warehouse where they are selling miller lite for $18 a can. It’s an hour of my life down the drain for every one I buy. In total, I waste 6 hours.
September 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
the venue has a fold-out table right outside the mouth of the warehouse where they are selling miller lite for $18 a can. It’s an hour of my life down the drain for every one I buy. In total, I waste 6 hours.
i'm getting a call. big money is on the line .the only thing you have to do is meet him at these coordinates:
43.06507498339642, -88.04407248965808
bring debit card
43.06507498339642, -88.04407248965808
bring debit card
September 24, 2025 at 12:05 PM
i'm getting a call. big money is on the line .the only thing you have to do is meet him at these coordinates:
43.06507498339642, -88.04407248965808
bring debit card
43.06507498339642, -88.04407248965808
bring debit card