Jon Bean Hastings
@jonbeanhastings.bsky.social
I draw comic books and illustrate stuff and write words and take pictures and design things graphically and sometimes people actually pay me to do it. I live near Santa Cruz, California, home of Lost Boys, Killer Klowns, banana slugs, and Mystery Spots.
When you "high five" someone, it's actually a high ten, but y'all ain't ready to hear that.
November 20, 2025 at 3:50 PM
When you "high five" someone, it's actually a high ten, but y'all ain't ready to hear that.
Time to do a bunch of cocaine in celebration!
November 17, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Time to do a bunch of cocaine in celebration!
Francis Lawrence "The Long Walk"-ed so Edgar Wright could "The Running Man".
November 15, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Francis Lawrence "The Long Walk"-ed so Edgar Wright could "The Running Man".
I'm going to start doing Pontius Pilates and wash my hands of exercise.
November 3, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I'm going to start doing Pontius Pilates and wash my hands of exercise.
I wish you a happy, formal Samuelhain.
October 31, 2025 at 6:19 PM
I wish you a happy, formal Samuelhain.
28 years ago today, the two goofball in the middle got married...
October 31, 2025 at 5:56 PM
28 years ago today, the two goofball in the middle got married...
#9: Deadstream
YouTube idiot-man spends the night in a house made of Evil Dead movies.
It takes real balls to try to emulate the Evil Dead films, but this one does it brilliantly.
YouTube idiot-man spends the night in a house made of Evil Dead movies.
It takes real balls to try to emulate the Evil Dead films, but this one does it brilliantly.
October 29, 2025 at 5:45 PM
#9: Deadstream
YouTube idiot-man spends the night in a house made of Evil Dead movies.
It takes real balls to try to emulate the Evil Dead films, but this one does it brilliantly.
YouTube idiot-man spends the night in a house made of Evil Dead movies.
It takes real balls to try to emulate the Evil Dead films, but this one does it brilliantly.
Movie #8: Final Destination: Bloodlines
Slightly better than the rest. Some actual character development and dialog that felt more natural.
The highlight: Tony Todd explained why the hell his character was always so nonchalant about all the Death doings and he got to say farewell to his fans.
Slightly better than the rest. Some actual character development and dialog that felt more natural.
The highlight: Tony Todd explained why the hell his character was always so nonchalant about all the Death doings and he got to say farewell to his fans.
October 23, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Movie #8: Final Destination: Bloodlines
Slightly better than the rest. Some actual character development and dialog that felt more natural.
The highlight: Tony Todd explained why the hell his character was always so nonchalant about all the Death doings and he got to say farewell to his fans.
Slightly better than the rest. Some actual character development and dialog that felt more natural.
The highlight: Tony Todd explained why the hell his character was always so nonchalant about all the Death doings and he got to say farewell to his fans.
The Vexing Menageries are here! The Vexing Menageries are here!
October 22, 2025 at 1:47 AM
The Vexing Menageries are here! The Vexing Menageries are here!
Movie #7: “Final Destination 5”
Stupid blah stupid bridge blah blah blah.
Five fuckin’ movies in and I haven’t cared about one single character. They’re all so willfully bland (or I instantly hate them and want them to die).
Stupid blah stupid bridge blah blah blah.
Five fuckin’ movies in and I haven’t cared about one single character. They’re all so willfully bland (or I instantly hate them and want them to die).
October 17, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Movie #7: “Final Destination 5”
Stupid blah stupid bridge blah blah blah.
Five fuckin’ movies in and I haven’t cared about one single character. They’re all so willfully bland (or I instantly hate them and want them to die).
Stupid blah stupid bridge blah blah blah.
Five fuckin’ movies in and I haven’t cared about one single character. They’re all so willfully bland (or I instantly hate them and want them to die).
6: Final Destination 4
Stupid Death at Stupid NASCAR.
Here's how absolutely interchangeable all the characters are; the titles are X-ray skeleton versions of previous character deaths in the first three movies. Not the characters themselves, their skeletons.
Stupid Death at Stupid NASCAR.
Here's how absolutely interchangeable all the characters are; the titles are X-ray skeleton versions of previous character deaths in the first three movies. Not the characters themselves, their skeletons.
October 15, 2025 at 1:54 PM
6: Final Destination 4
Stupid Death at Stupid NASCAR.
Here's how absolutely interchangeable all the characters are; the titles are X-ray skeleton versions of previous character deaths in the first three movies. Not the characters themselves, their skeletons.
Stupid Death at Stupid NASCAR.
Here's how absolutely interchangeable all the characters are; the titles are X-ray skeleton versions of previous character deaths in the first three movies. Not the characters themselves, their skeletons.
#5: Final Destination 3
Stupid Death on a roller coaster.
You know what you’re never going to see? A “Final Destination” costume at Spirit Halloween. It’s a serial killer movie too lazy to give you an actual serial killer. Whatta gonna go as, wind? A growling downed powerline? A puddle? A log?
Stupid Death on a roller coaster.
You know what you’re never going to see? A “Final Destination” costume at Spirit Halloween. It’s a serial killer movie too lazy to give you an actual serial killer. Whatta gonna go as, wind? A growling downed powerline? A puddle? A log?
October 10, 2025 at 3:47 PM
#5: Final Destination 3
Stupid Death on a roller coaster.
You know what you’re never going to see? A “Final Destination” costume at Spirit Halloween. It’s a serial killer movie too lazy to give you an actual serial killer. Whatta gonna go as, wind? A growling downed powerline? A puddle? A log?
Stupid Death on a roller coaster.
You know what you’re never going to see? A “Final Destination” costume at Spirit Halloween. It’s a serial killer movie too lazy to give you an actual serial killer. Whatta gonna go as, wind? A growling downed powerline? A puddle? A log?
Last chance to jump on board... late pledges end today!
The Vexing Menagerie: an ABC Book of Preposterous Poems
A 100th birthday tribute to Edward Gorey presenting 26 amusing animals ideally inhabiting the pictured pages of this bizarre book.
www.kickstarter.com
October 9, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Last chance to jump on board... late pledges end today!
#4: Final Destination 2
Stupid Death is still a stupid dick, now with even more stupid.
Why did I care even less about these walking clichés? (Oh, because none of them were given the courtesy of having any character development. They’re just pre-corpses who have yet to be rent asunder.)
Stupid Death is still a stupid dick, now with even more stupid.
Why did I care even less about these walking clichés? (Oh, because none of them were given the courtesy of having any character development. They’re just pre-corpses who have yet to be rent asunder.)
October 9, 2025 at 2:01 PM
#4: Final Destination 2
Stupid Death is still a stupid dick, now with even more stupid.
Why did I care even less about these walking clichés? (Oh, because none of them were given the courtesy of having any character development. They’re just pre-corpses who have yet to be rent asunder.)
Stupid Death is still a stupid dick, now with even more stupid.
Why did I care even less about these walking clichés? (Oh, because none of them were given the courtesy of having any character development. They’re just pre-corpses who have yet to be rent asunder.)
#3 “Final Destination”
When this came out, I was excited to see it, since it's by Morgan and Wong, two of the creative powerhouses that made "The X-Files" one of my favorite shows.
Then I saw this rejected X-Files script and it's been on my "worst horror movies" for the last 25 years. Still is.
When this came out, I was excited to see it, since it's by Morgan and Wong, two of the creative powerhouses that made "The X-Files" one of my favorite shows.
Then I saw this rejected X-Files script and it's been on my "worst horror movies" for the last 25 years. Still is.
October 7, 2025 at 1:52 PM
#3 “Final Destination”
When this came out, I was excited to see it, since it's by Morgan and Wong, two of the creative powerhouses that made "The X-Files" one of my favorite shows.
Then I saw this rejected X-Files script and it's been on my "worst horror movies" for the last 25 years. Still is.
When this came out, I was excited to see it, since it's by Morgan and Wong, two of the creative powerhouses that made "The X-Files" one of my favorite shows.
Then I saw this rejected X-Files script and it's been on my "worst horror movies" for the last 25 years. Still is.
Takes the goofy spirit of the original and mutates it with a more coherent plot.
Dinklage brings a surprising amount of depth to Toxie. Kevin Bacon has a grand time as The Villain, Elijah Wood delights as His Creepy Brother.
A solid job of evoking nostalgia without it overwhelming everything.
Dinklage brings a surprising amount of depth to Toxie. Kevin Bacon has a grand time as The Villain, Elijah Wood delights as His Creepy Brother.
A solid job of evoking nostalgia without it overwhelming everything.
October 3, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Takes the goofy spirit of the original and mutates it with a more coherent plot.
Dinklage brings a surprising amount of depth to Toxie. Kevin Bacon has a grand time as The Villain, Elijah Wood delights as His Creepy Brother.
A solid job of evoking nostalgia without it overwhelming everything.
Dinklage brings a surprising amount of depth to Toxie. Kevin Bacon has a grand time as The Villain, Elijah Wood delights as His Creepy Brother.
A solid job of evoking nostalgia without it overwhelming everything.
#2 Frankie Freako
As a fan of Astron-6 (the filmmakers behind “Psycho Goreman”), I was hoping their riff on 80’s puppet monster movies would be as good as their tribute to Italian giallo horror, “The Editor”.
It wasn’t. They squandered the premise's potential.
As a fan of Astron-6 (the filmmakers behind “Psycho Goreman”), I was hoping their riff on 80’s puppet monster movies would be as good as their tribute to Italian giallo horror, “The Editor”.
It wasn’t. They squandered the premise's potential.
October 2, 2025 at 8:35 PM
#2 Frankie Freako
As a fan of Astron-6 (the filmmakers behind “Psycho Goreman”), I was hoping their riff on 80’s puppet monster movies would be as good as their tribute to Italian giallo horror, “The Editor”.
It wasn’t. They squandered the premise's potential.
As a fan of Astron-6 (the filmmakers behind “Psycho Goreman”), I was hoping their riff on 80’s puppet monster movies would be as good as their tribute to Italian giallo horror, “The Editor”.
It wasn’t. They squandered the premise's potential.
Movie #1: “Get Away”
Picked this because of Nick Frost and Asiling Bea. Like most horror comedies, logic tends to go out the window in service to the story. Still, it manages to be entertaining enough to recommend as Sunday matinee popcorn muncher.
Picked this because of Nick Frost and Asiling Bea. Like most horror comedies, logic tends to go out the window in service to the story. Still, it manages to be entertaining enough to recommend as Sunday matinee popcorn muncher.
October 1, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Movie #1: “Get Away”
Picked this because of Nick Frost and Asiling Bea. Like most horror comedies, logic tends to go out the window in service to the story. Still, it manages to be entertaining enough to recommend as Sunday matinee popcorn muncher.
Picked this because of Nick Frost and Asiling Bea. Like most horror comedies, logic tends to go out the window in service to the story. Still, it manages to be entertaining enough to recommend as Sunday matinee popcorn muncher.
Sooooo close to 500% but, you know what, I'll take it... delightfully so!
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the success of the campaign (and if you missed it, you can still Late Pledge for rewards through October)!
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the success of the campaign (and if you missed it, you can still Late Pledge for rewards through October)!
October 1, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Sooooo close to 500% but, you know what, I'll take it... delightfully so!
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the success of the campaign (and if you missed it, you can still Late Pledge for rewards through October)!
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the success of the campaign (and if you missed it, you can still Late Pledge for rewards through October)!
Last day of the Kickstarter campaign, folks! Get 'em while they're hot! Get 'em while their weird!
The Vexing Menagerie: an ABC Book of Preposterous Poems
A 100th birthday tribute to Edward Gorey presenting 26 amusing animals ideally inhabiting the pictured pages of this bizarre book.
www.kickstarter.com
September 30, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Last day of the Kickstarter campaign, folks! Get 'em while they're hot! Get 'em while their weird!
One week left on my Kickstarter! Get 'em while they're weird!
The Vexing Menagerie: an ABC Book of Preposterous Poems
A 100th birthday tribute to Edward Gorey presenting 26 amusing animals ideally inhabiting the pictured pages of this bizarre book.
www.kickstarter.com
September 23, 2025 at 10:45 PM
One week left on my Kickstarter! Get 'em while they're weird!
"Why everything?!" -I just commented to no one, about everything.
September 23, 2025 at 5:28 PM
"Why everything?!" -I just commented to no one, about everything.
ONLY 271 DAYS UNTIL SUMMER!!!!
September 23, 2025 at 2:07 PM
ONLY 271 DAYS UNTIL SUMMER!!!!
"The Vexing Zoologist" level on my Kickstarter strikes again! This time Robin's aqua-buddy, the Juck, a piranha/octopus hybrid ! (This one enjoys posing like the little mermaid!)
September 22, 2025 at 11:38 PM
"The Vexing Zoologist" level on my Kickstarter strikes again! This time Robin's aqua-buddy, the Juck, a piranha/octopus hybrid ! (This one enjoys posing like the little mermaid!)