John Soanes
@johnsoanes.bsky.social
He's like a pen: longer than he is wide, writes, runs... and as time goes on, will probably leak more often and need various of his original parts replaced.
If 'a finger of Fudge is just enough', then it follows that this is almost insultingly insufficient
January 8, 2026 at 9:18 PM
If 'a finger of Fudge is just enough', then it follows that this is almost insultingly insufficient
The Count of Au-delà Crypto: After being vilified and exiled for decades, Clippy reinvented himself and punished all who had scorned him, returning in the guise of AI
December 24, 2025 at 1:31 PM
The Count of Au-delà Crypto: After being vilified and exiled for decades, Clippy reinvented himself and punished all who had scorned him, returning in the guise of AI
As a tribute to Chris Rea, they should do a 'based on travel experience' Record Store Day double A-Side release: 'Driving Home For Christmas' / 'The Road To Hell'
December 22, 2025 at 7:15 PM
As a tribute to Chris Rea, they should do a 'based on travel experience' Record Store Day double A-Side release: 'Driving Home For Christmas' / 'The Road To Hell'
I know the forthcoming Amadeus TV show is supposed to be a new take on the story, so l guess it makes sense they decided to cast Robert Webb as Salieri
December 20, 2025 at 3:54 PM
I know the forthcoming Amadeus TV show is supposed to be a new take on the story, so l guess it makes sense they decided to cast Robert Webb as Salieri
That's really encouraging, but if we're honest it'll probably take a bit more effort to achieve that goal
October 15, 2025 at 7:32 PM
That's really encouraging, but if we're honest it'll probably take a bit more effort to achieve that goal
When actors look in the bathroom mirror, l guess they probably have flashbacks to scenes where they had to stare into a bathroom mirror and have a flashback
October 14, 2025 at 4:33 PM
When actors look in the bathroom mirror, l guess they probably have flashbacks to scenes where they had to stare into a bathroom mirror and have a flashback
Quite impressed that Sainsbury's have found a metric to show the price per use of toilet roll
October 12, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Quite impressed that Sainsbury's have found a metric to show the price per use of toilet roll
Is it deliberate that 'Tron: Ares' is such an easy anagram of 'Torn Arse'?
October 7, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Is it deliberate that 'Tron: Ares' is such an easy anagram of 'Torn Arse'?
Feels like Ed Sheeran's giving the critics and wags an easy target with his plan to name a future album 'Fast Forward'...
September 24, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Feels like Ed Sheeran's giving the critics and wags an easy target with his plan to name a future album 'Fast Forward'...
If I'm honest with myself, qualifying as a pilot is probably the fastest way for me to get to turn left when l board a plane
September 23, 2025 at 10:57 PM
If I'm honest with myself, qualifying as a pilot is probably the fastest way for me to get to turn left when l board a plane
"I've become a standard lamp by mistake"
September 22, 2025 at 6:49 PM
"I've become a standard lamp by mistake"
This looks like the sizzle reel for a filmed version of The Lion King musical which explains why they went with a live-action remake of the cartoon
Dario G - Sunchyme (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by Chrysalis Records
youtu.be
September 21, 2025 at 7:54 PM
This looks like the sizzle reel for a filmed version of The Lion King musical which explains why they went with a live-action remake of the cartoon
This must have happened for real - the only logical explanation why so many automated voicemail instructions include "when you have finished leaving your message, please hang up"
September 20, 2025 at 8:20 PM
This must have happened for real - the only logical explanation why so many automated voicemail instructions include "when you have finished leaving your message, please hang up"
That image makes it look like they're doing a TV version of the 1970s game Mastermind
September 19, 2025 at 10:45 PM
That image makes it look like they're doing a TV version of the 1970s game Mastermind
Social media posts, like many of us in our twenties, tend to date rather badly
September 18, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Social media posts, like many of us in our twenties, tend to date rather badly
Smooth and shiny and very malleable indeed, so l have no idea why they call them crisp packets.
September 17, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Smooth and shiny and very malleable indeed, so l have no idea why they call them crisp packets.
My homeopath friend gave me hassle today about the fact l don't get in contact with them very often - and was weirdly unreceptive when l said it means the time we do spend together is more powerful and potent as a result
September 16, 2025 at 9:26 PM
My homeopath friend gave me hassle today about the fact l don't get in contact with them very often - and was weirdly unreceptive when l said it means the time we do spend together is more powerful and potent as a result
In Germany, shouldn't Kinder chocolate be sold under the brand name 'Children'?
September 15, 2025 at 9:15 PM
In Germany, shouldn't Kinder chocolate be sold under the brand name 'Children'?
l turned on Closed Captions on my TV out of daft curiosity, and as a result l've seen the word "[scoffs]" more times in the past few weeks than l have in the entirety of my life
September 14, 2025 at 4:48 PM
l turned on Closed Captions on my TV out of daft curiosity, and as a result l've seen the word "[scoffs]" more times in the past few weeks than l have in the entirety of my life
Bit suspicious how we don't hear much from Derek Acorah these days, l'd say
September 13, 2025 at 7:13 AM
Bit suspicious how we don't hear much from Derek Acorah these days, l'd say
A friend of mine claims to have LinkedIn connections with over 18,000 experienced (or aged) shoemakers and heel repairers, but l think that's a load of old cobblers
September 12, 2025 at 6:31 AM
A friend of mine claims to have LinkedIn connections with over 18,000 experienced (or aged) shoemakers and heel repairers, but l think that's a load of old cobblers
Frankly, it's been years now, and I think it's high time l was allowed to graduate to eating Grands Filous
September 11, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Frankly, it's been years now, and I think it's high time l was allowed to graduate to eating Grands Filous
Rewatching Game of Thrones, l do think the White Walkers would have been less scary if they'd been the White Washers
September 10, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Rewatching Game of Thrones, l do think the White Walkers would have been less scary if they'd been the White Washers
Slightly odd choice of cover for a film star's biography, but I'm looking forward to reading all the gossip from his time playing Starbuck and the Faceman
September 9, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Slightly odd choice of cover for a film star's biography, but I'm looking forward to reading all the gossip from his time playing Starbuck and the Faceman
Lot of talk of carrot and stick as leadership types, I'm more 'the string'
September 8, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Lot of talk of carrot and stick as leadership types, I'm more 'the string'