John Kerans
@johnanthonyusa.bsky.social
RIMSHOT:
Attention Hibernians —
It's time again to celebrate the Feast of Saint Patrick, Patron of the Irish.
Remember him?
He's the fellow who drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into law school.
#SaintPatrick #Ireland #Hibernians
Attention Hibernians —
It's time again to celebrate the Feast of Saint Patrick, Patron of the Irish.
Remember him?
He's the fellow who drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into law school.
#SaintPatrick #Ireland #Hibernians
March 14, 2025 at 8:44 PM
RIMSHOT:
Attention Hibernians —
It's time again to celebrate the Feast of Saint Patrick, Patron of the Irish.
Remember him?
He's the fellow who drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into law school.
#SaintPatrick #Ireland #Hibernians
Attention Hibernians —
It's time again to celebrate the Feast of Saint Patrick, Patron of the Irish.
Remember him?
He's the fellow who drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into law school.
#SaintPatrick #Ireland #Hibernians
BUMPER STICKER:
As seen on a Foodie’s re-furbished VW Microbus ...
| Fight Lactose Intolerance! |
#Foodie #VWMicrobus #LactoseIntolerance
As seen on a Foodie’s re-furbished VW Microbus ...
| Fight Lactose Intolerance! |
#Foodie #VWMicrobus #LactoseIntolerance
March 10, 2025 at 9:28 AM
BUMPER STICKER:
As seen on a Foodie’s re-furbished VW Microbus ...
| Fight Lactose Intolerance! |
#Foodie #VWMicrobus #LactoseIntolerance
As seen on a Foodie’s re-furbished VW Microbus ...
| Fight Lactose Intolerance! |
#Foodie #VWMicrobus #LactoseIntolerance
QUESTION:
Can chocolate chip cookies cause skin cancer?
ANSWER:
Yes! Just ask Squamous Amos.
#FamousAmos #chocolatechip
#cookies
Can chocolate chip cookies cause skin cancer?
ANSWER:
Yes! Just ask Squamous Amos.
#FamousAmos #chocolatechip
#cookies
March 9, 2025 at 1:14 AM
QUESTION:
Can chocolate chip cookies cause skin cancer?
ANSWER:
Yes! Just ask Squamous Amos.
#FamousAmos #chocolatechip
#cookies
Can chocolate chip cookies cause skin cancer?
ANSWER:
Yes! Just ask Squamous Amos.
#FamousAmos #chocolatechip
#cookies
CELEBRITY NEWS:
Vanna White is taking a few weeks off from Wheel of Fortune.
It’s a medical issue ––
Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
#VannaWhite #WheelOfFortune
Vanna White is taking a few weeks off from Wheel of Fortune.
It’s a medical issue ––
Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
#VannaWhite #WheelOfFortune
March 8, 2025 at 2:38 AM
CELEBRITY NEWS:
Vanna White is taking a few weeks off from Wheel of Fortune.
It’s a medical issue ––
Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
#VannaWhite #WheelOfFortune
Vanna White is taking a few weeks off from Wheel of Fortune.
It’s a medical issue ––
Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
#VannaWhite #WheelOfFortune
RIMSHOT:
Kroger — the grocery chain — fired its CEO today.
He was caught trying to exceed the 10-item limit in the express lane.
#Kroger #Cincinnati
Kroger — the grocery chain — fired its CEO today.
He was caught trying to exceed the 10-item limit in the express lane.
#Kroger #Cincinnati
March 4, 2025 at 12:08 AM
RIMSHOT:
Kroger — the grocery chain — fired its CEO today.
He was caught trying to exceed the 10-item limit in the express lane.
#Kroger #Cincinnati
Kroger — the grocery chain — fired its CEO today.
He was caught trying to exceed the 10-item limit in the express lane.
#Kroger #Cincinnati
February 14, 2025 at 2:52 PM
QUESTION:
How does a cattle rancher determine the number of cows in a herd?
ANSWER:
He counts their legs and divides by four.
#cattlerancher #cows #cattle #rancher
How does a cattle rancher determine the number of cows in a herd?
ANSWER:
He counts their legs and divides by four.
#cattlerancher #cows #cattle #rancher
February 14, 2025 at 10:36 AM
QUESTION:
How does a cattle rancher determine the number of cows in a herd?
ANSWER:
He counts their legs and divides by four.
#cattlerancher #cows #cattle #rancher
How does a cattle rancher determine the number of cows in a herd?
ANSWER:
He counts their legs and divides by four.
#cattlerancher #cows #cattle #rancher
RIMSHOT:
Disney just fired the company that provides all their telephones.
The new contract goes to an outfit called Tinker Bell.
#Disney
Disney just fired the company that provides all their telephones.
The new contract goes to an outfit called Tinker Bell.
#Disney
February 11, 2025 at 8:39 PM
RIMSHOT:
Disney just fired the company that provides all their telephones.
The new contract goes to an outfit called Tinker Bell.
#Disney
Disney just fired the company that provides all their telephones.
The new contract goes to an outfit called Tinker Bell.
#Disney
MISSING DOG:
Small, mixed-breed male, brown in color, afflicted with mange.
Missing a large piece of his left ear. Blind in the right eye. Walks with a pronounced limp.
Answers to the name of "Lucky."
#missingdog #mange
Small, mixed-breed male, brown in color, afflicted with mange.
Missing a large piece of his left ear. Blind in the right eye. Walks with a pronounced limp.
Answers to the name of "Lucky."
#missingdog #mange
February 6, 2025 at 7:23 AM
MISSING DOG:
Small, mixed-breed male, brown in color, afflicted with mange.
Missing a large piece of his left ear. Blind in the right eye. Walks with a pronounced limp.
Answers to the name of "Lucky."
#missingdog #mange
Small, mixed-breed male, brown in color, afflicted with mange.
Missing a large piece of his left ear. Blind in the right eye. Walks with a pronounced limp.
Answers to the name of "Lucky."
#missingdog #mange
QUESTION:
Where does Indiana Jones buy his automobiles?
ANSWER:
He’s a long-time customer at Harrison Ford.
#IndianaJones #HarrisonFord
Where does Indiana Jones buy his automobiles?
ANSWER:
He’s a long-time customer at Harrison Ford.
#IndianaJones #HarrisonFord
February 4, 2025 at 8:10 AM
QUESTION:
Where does Indiana Jones buy his automobiles?
ANSWER:
He’s a long-time customer at Harrison Ford.
#IndianaJones #HarrisonFord
Where does Indiana Jones buy his automobiles?
ANSWER:
He’s a long-time customer at Harrison Ford.
#IndianaJones #HarrisonFord
RIMSHOT:
My brother is concerned about his new girlfriend.
According to him, she can't tell the difference between Vaseline and putty.
A few days ago, all her windows fell out.
#Vaseline
My brother is concerned about his new girlfriend.
According to him, she can't tell the difference between Vaseline and putty.
A few days ago, all her windows fell out.
#Vaseline
February 4, 2025 at 2:14 AM
RIMSHOT:
My brother is concerned about his new girlfriend.
According to him, she can't tell the difference between Vaseline and putty.
A few days ago, all her windows fell out.
#Vaseline
My brother is concerned about his new girlfriend.
According to him, she can't tell the difference between Vaseline and putty.
A few days ago, all her windows fell out.
#Vaseline
RIMSHOT:
Celebrity news!
Dolly Parton has enrolled in graduate school at the University of Tennessee.
Word is, she'll be pursuing a Ph-double-D.
#DollyParton #graduateschool
#UniversityofTennessee
#Knoxville #PhD
Celebrity news!
Dolly Parton has enrolled in graduate school at the University of Tennessee.
Word is, she'll be pursuing a Ph-double-D.
#DollyParton #graduateschool
#UniversityofTennessee
#Knoxville #PhD
February 1, 2025 at 10:24 PM
RIMSHOT:
Celebrity news!
Dolly Parton has enrolled in graduate school at the University of Tennessee.
Word is, she'll be pursuing a Ph-double-D.
#DollyParton #graduateschool
#UniversityofTennessee
#Knoxville #PhD
Celebrity news!
Dolly Parton has enrolled in graduate school at the University of Tennessee.
Word is, she'll be pursuing a Ph-double-D.
#DollyParton #graduateschool
#UniversityofTennessee
#Knoxville #PhD
HISTORY LESSON:
On this date in 1841, John Hampson of New Orleans, La. was issued a U.S. patent for 'Venetian Blinds.'
Thank goodness for that.
Otherwise, it would have been curtains for all of us.
#NewOrleans #venetianblinds
On this date in 1841, John Hampson of New Orleans, La. was issued a U.S. patent for 'Venetian Blinds.'
Thank goodness for that.
Otherwise, it would have been curtains for all of us.
#NewOrleans #venetianblinds
February 1, 2025 at 8:28 PM
HISTORY LESSON:
On this date in 1841, John Hampson of New Orleans, La. was issued a U.S. patent for 'Venetian Blinds.'
Thank goodness for that.
Otherwise, it would have been curtains for all of us.
#NewOrleans #venetianblinds
On this date in 1841, John Hampson of New Orleans, La. was issued a U.S. patent for 'Venetian Blinds.'
Thank goodness for that.
Otherwise, it would have been curtains for all of us.
#NewOrleans #venetianblinds
FAMOUS QUOTATIONS:
Friends, Romans, Countrymen …
Lend me your ears!
I come not to bury Caesar, but to eat his salad.
— Marc Antony
#JuliusCaesar #WilliamShakespeare #CaesarSalad
Friends, Romans, Countrymen …
Lend me your ears!
I come not to bury Caesar, but to eat his salad.
— Marc Antony
#JuliusCaesar #WilliamShakespeare #CaesarSalad
February 1, 2025 at 3:16 AM
FAMOUS QUOTATIONS:
Friends, Romans, Countrymen …
Lend me your ears!
I come not to bury Caesar, but to eat his salad.
— Marc Antony
#JuliusCaesar #WilliamShakespeare #CaesarSalad
Friends, Romans, Countrymen …
Lend me your ears!
I come not to bury Caesar, but to eat his salad.
— Marc Antony
#JuliusCaesar #WilliamShakespeare #CaesarSalad
Holy cow! Have you checked the prices lately for Hallmark Cards?
Like, for Valentine's Day.
I guess their slogan says it all —
"When you care enough to spend the very best."
#HallmarkCards #Valentine'sDay
Like, for Valentine's Day.
I guess their slogan says it all —
"When you care enough to spend the very best."
#HallmarkCards #Valentine'sDay
January 30, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Holy cow! Have you checked the prices lately for Hallmark Cards?
Like, for Valentine's Day.
I guess their slogan says it all —
"When you care enough to spend the very best."
#HallmarkCards #Valentine'sDay
Like, for Valentine's Day.
I guess their slogan says it all —
"When you care enough to spend the very best."
#HallmarkCards #Valentine'sDay
RIMSHOT:
My nephew just got back from Army basic training.
Ten weeks of sweat and agony.
To make it worse, he got a 'Dear John' letter from his girlfriend in week six.
But at least she let him down easy.
"I've found somebody else," she wrote.
"But I hope we can still be cousins."
#Army
My nephew just got back from Army basic training.
Ten weeks of sweat and agony.
To make it worse, he got a 'Dear John' letter from his girlfriend in week six.
But at least she let him down easy.
"I've found somebody else," she wrote.
"But I hope we can still be cousins."
#Army
January 29, 2025 at 7:22 PM
RIMSHOT:
My nephew just got back from Army basic training.
Ten weeks of sweat and agony.
To make it worse, he got a 'Dear John' letter from his girlfriend in week six.
But at least she let him down easy.
"I've found somebody else," she wrote.
"But I hope we can still be cousins."
#Army
My nephew just got back from Army basic training.
Ten weeks of sweat and agony.
To make it worse, he got a 'Dear John' letter from his girlfriend in week six.
But at least she let him down easy.
"I've found somebody else," she wrote.
"But I hope we can still be cousins."
#Army
QUESTION:
What is the favorite hymn of tequila drinkers?
ANSWER:
That would be Franz Schubert's 'Agave Maria.'
#tequila #FranzSchubert #churchhymn
What is the favorite hymn of tequila drinkers?
ANSWER:
That would be Franz Schubert's 'Agave Maria.'
#tequila #FranzSchubert #churchhymn
January 28, 2025 at 6:08 AM
QUESTION:
What is the favorite hymn of tequila drinkers?
ANSWER:
That would be Franz Schubert's 'Agave Maria.'
#tequila #FranzSchubert #churchhymn
What is the favorite hymn of tequila drinkers?
ANSWER:
That would be Franz Schubert's 'Agave Maria.'
#tequila #FranzSchubert #churchhymn
RIMSHOT:
The lunch lady in the CIA cafeteria at Langley is packing ‘em in.
Everybody wants to get a taste of her top-secret sauce.
#CIA #secretsauce #Langley #espionage #securityclearance
The lunch lady in the CIA cafeteria at Langley is packing ‘em in.
Everybody wants to get a taste of her top-secret sauce.
#CIA #secretsauce #Langley #espionage #securityclearance
January 27, 2025 at 9:17 PM
RIMSHOT:
The lunch lady in the CIA cafeteria at Langley is packing ‘em in.
Everybody wants to get a taste of her top-secret sauce.
#CIA #secretsauce #Langley #espionage #securityclearance
The lunch lady in the CIA cafeteria at Langley is packing ‘em in.
Everybody wants to get a taste of her top-secret sauce.
#CIA #secretsauce #Langley #espionage #securityclearance
RIMSHOT:
Every four years, Greenland issues a postage stamp to honor the new American president.
It's a tradition that began with Hoover in 1928.
But, this time, the stamp was issued, and then withdrawn.
Problem was, it wouldn't stick.
People were spitting on the wrong side.
#Greenland
Every four years, Greenland issues a postage stamp to honor the new American president.
It's a tradition that began with Hoover in 1928.
But, this time, the stamp was issued, and then withdrawn.
Problem was, it wouldn't stick.
People were spitting on the wrong side.
#Greenland
January 27, 2025 at 1:42 AM
RIMSHOT:
Every four years, Greenland issues a postage stamp to honor the new American president.
It's a tradition that began with Hoover in 1928.
But, this time, the stamp was issued, and then withdrawn.
Problem was, it wouldn't stick.
People were spitting on the wrong side.
#Greenland
Every four years, Greenland issues a postage stamp to honor the new American president.
It's a tradition that began with Hoover in 1928.
But, this time, the stamp was issued, and then withdrawn.
Problem was, it wouldn't stick.
People were spitting on the wrong side.
#Greenland
RIMSHOT:
I was making a smoothie this afternoon when my pet monkey fell into the blender.
No smoothie for me.
I had to settle for Rhesus Pieces.
#smoothie #monkey #Reese'sPieces #blender
I was making a smoothie this afternoon when my pet monkey fell into the blender.
No smoothie for me.
I had to settle for Rhesus Pieces.
#smoothie #monkey #Reese'sPieces #blender
January 26, 2025 at 11:52 PM
RIMSHOT:
I was making a smoothie this afternoon when my pet monkey fell into the blender.
No smoothie for me.
I had to settle for Rhesus Pieces.
#smoothie #monkey #Reese'sPieces #blender
I was making a smoothie this afternoon when my pet monkey fell into the blender.
No smoothie for me.
I had to settle for Rhesus Pieces.
#smoothie #monkey #Reese'sPieces #blender
QUESTION:
What famous jazz pianist was convicted of capital crimes?
ANSWER:
That would be Felonious Monk.
#TheloniousMonk #jazz
What famous jazz pianist was convicted of capital crimes?
ANSWER:
That would be Felonious Monk.
#TheloniousMonk #jazz
January 26, 2025 at 6:56 PM
QUESTION:
What famous jazz pianist was convicted of capital crimes?
ANSWER:
That would be Felonious Monk.
#TheloniousMonk #jazz
What famous jazz pianist was convicted of capital crimes?
ANSWER:
That would be Felonious Monk.
#TheloniousMonk #jazz
RIMSHOT:
Big news today from the NFL.
Three teams — Browns, Titans, Giants — have all expressed an interest in relocating to the Philippines for next season.
Details are sketchy but this much is certain —
No matter which team is chosen, it will be renamed as the 'Manila Folders.'
#NFL
Big news today from the NFL.
Three teams — Browns, Titans, Giants — have all expressed an interest in relocating to the Philippines for next season.
Details are sketchy but this much is certain —
No matter which team is chosen, it will be renamed as the 'Manila Folders.'
#NFL
January 25, 2025 at 3:24 AM
RIMSHOT:
Big news today from the NFL.
Three teams — Browns, Titans, Giants — have all expressed an interest in relocating to the Philippines for next season.
Details are sketchy but this much is certain —
No matter which team is chosen, it will be renamed as the 'Manila Folders.'
#NFL
Big news today from the NFL.
Three teams — Browns, Titans, Giants — have all expressed an interest in relocating to the Philippines for next season.
Details are sketchy but this much is certain —
No matter which team is chosen, it will be renamed as the 'Manila Folders.'
#NFL
RIMSHOT:
The Federal government has dumped all its DEI initiatives.
But, other institutions have decided to stay the course.
For example, the Mafia now says it's open to members of any sexual persuasion.
So — from now on — the 'kiss of death' might also include dinner and dancing.
#DEI #Mafia
The Federal government has dumped all its DEI initiatives.
But, other institutions have decided to stay the course.
For example, the Mafia now says it's open to members of any sexual persuasion.
So — from now on — the 'kiss of death' might also include dinner and dancing.
#DEI #Mafia
January 24, 2025 at 9:52 PM
RIMSHOT:
Sad news from the pulpit last Sunday.
Our pastor has admitted to a drinking problem and entered rehab.
We knew something was amiss at Christmas.
Instead of the traditional “Peace be with you,” his annual letter was signed “Bottoms up.”
#drinkingproblem #rehab #pastor
Sad news from the pulpit last Sunday.
Our pastor has admitted to a drinking problem and entered rehab.
We knew something was amiss at Christmas.
Instead of the traditional “Peace be with you,” his annual letter was signed “Bottoms up.”
#drinkingproblem #rehab #pastor
January 22, 2025 at 4:46 AM
RIMSHOT:
Sad news from the pulpit last Sunday.
Our pastor has admitted to a drinking problem and entered rehab.
We knew something was amiss at Christmas.
Instead of the traditional “Peace be with you,” his annual letter was signed “Bottoms up.”
#drinkingproblem #rehab #pastor
Sad news from the pulpit last Sunday.
Our pastor has admitted to a drinking problem and entered rehab.
We knew something was amiss at Christmas.
Instead of the traditional “Peace be with you,” his annual letter was signed “Bottoms up.”
#drinkingproblem #rehab #pastor
FAMOUS QUOTATIONS:
Now, a reading from Psalm 118.
As interpreted by an Irish intellectual —
"This is the day the Lord has made.
“Let us read Joyce and be glad."
#JamesJoyce #Irish #IrishBluesky
Now, a reading from Psalm 118.
As interpreted by an Irish intellectual —
"This is the day the Lord has made.
“Let us read Joyce and be glad."
#JamesJoyce #Irish #IrishBluesky
January 20, 2025 at 8:10 AM
FAMOUS QUOTATIONS:
Now, a reading from Psalm 118.
As interpreted by an Irish intellectual —
"This is the day the Lord has made.
“Let us read Joyce and be glad."
#JamesJoyce #Irish #IrishBluesky
Now, a reading from Psalm 118.
As interpreted by an Irish intellectual —
"This is the day the Lord has made.
“Let us read Joyce and be glad."
#JamesJoyce #Irish #IrishBluesky