day 1380. 평생 이렇게 살아야 해? 행복은 없다.. 행복은 진짜 없다.
January 1, 2026 at 4:42 AM
day 1380. 평생 이렇게 살아야 해? 행복은 없다.. 행복은 진짜 없다.
day 1381. the last day of 2025, the year where God took what I loved. another year I didn’t kill myself.
thank you, Lord. please help me to be thankful.
thank you, Lord. please help me to be thankful.
December 31, 2025 at 12:51 PM
day 1381. the last day of 2025, the year where God took what I loved. another year I didn’t kill myself.
thank you, Lord. please help me to be thankful.
thank you, Lord. please help me to be thankful.
day 1386. last night float. filled with a sense of impending doom.
“What time I am afraid,
I will trust in thee.”
Psalm 56:3
“What time I am afraid,
I will trust in thee.”
Psalm 56:3
December 26, 2025 at 9:37 AM
day 1386. last night float. filled with a sense of impending doom.
“What time I am afraid,
I will trust in thee.”
Psalm 56:3
“What time I am afraid,
I will trust in thee.”
Psalm 56:3
day 1388. half way through my string of 6 night shifts.. feel like I’m doing worse with each shift 🫠 Christmas Eve today.
December 24, 2025 at 12:19 AM
day 1388. half way through my string of 6 night shifts.. feel like I’m doing worse with each shift 🫠 Christmas Eve today.
day 1411. “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.” (Ps 31:24)
God’s promise: if I will be courageous, and if I will hope in Him, God will give me strength.
God’s promise: if I will be courageous, and if I will hope in Him, God will give me strength.
November 30, 2025 at 9:52 PM
day 1411. “Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.” (Ps 31:24)
God’s promise: if I will be courageous, and if I will hope in Him, God will give me strength.
God’s promise: if I will be courageous, and if I will hope in Him, God will give me strength.
day 1415. they’re all dropping like flies.
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” (Ps 27:14)
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” (Ps 27:14)
November 26, 2025 at 10:18 PM
day 1415. they’re all dropping like flies.
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” (Ps 27:14)
“Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” (Ps 27:14)
day 1418. woke up to find that one of my patients has passed on. peacefully, I hope. but we were waiting for his granddaughter to come and see him.. I don’t think they got the chance to say goodbye before he left.
his wife said they went to church. I hope we meet in heaven again someday.
his wife said they went to church. I hope we meet in heaven again someday.
November 23, 2025 at 8:53 PM
day 1418. woke up to find that one of my patients has passed on. peacefully, I hope. but we were waiting for his granddaughter to come and see him.. I don’t think they got the chance to say goodbye before he left.
his wife said they went to church. I hope we meet in heaven again someday.
his wife said they went to church. I hope we meet in heaven again someday.
day 1421. unappreciated but it’s okay. God knows. and thank God for wisdom to manage a situation - He gave me what I needed. grateful to the Lord!
November 20, 2025 at 12:46 PM
day 1421. unappreciated but it’s okay. God knows. and thank God for wisdom to manage a situation - He gave me what I needed. grateful to the Lord!
day 1423. some breathing space.
“For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.” (Ps 48:14)
i’m always worried that it is calm before a storm. may God help me to use the time of calm wisely.
“For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.” (Ps 48:14)
i’m always worried that it is calm before a storm. may God help me to use the time of calm wisely.
November 17, 2025 at 9:38 PM
day 1423. some breathing space.
“For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.” (Ps 48:14)
i’m always worried that it is calm before a storm. may God help me to use the time of calm wisely.
“For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.” (Ps 48:14)
i’m always worried that it is calm before a storm. may God help me to use the time of calm wisely.
day 1428. thank God for his grace. now to sleep..!
November 13, 2025 at 3:39 PM
day 1428. thank God for his grace. now to sleep..!
day 1429. tired but thankful. Lord, why am I always so uneasy..?
November 12, 2025 at 10:46 AM
day 1429. tired but thankful. Lord, why am I always so uneasy..?
day 1431. is there no victory or hope in this life..? why am I back to despair again..?
November 9, 2025 at 10:01 PM
day 1431. is there no victory or hope in this life..? why am I back to despair again..?
day 1432. why am I so fickle? why can’t my heart be fixed on God?
November 9, 2025 at 3:42 AM
day 1432. why am I so fickle? why can’t my heart be fixed on God?
day 1433.
“And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Mat 26:39)
“And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Mat 26:39)
November 7, 2025 at 9:36 PM
day 1433.
“And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Mat 26:39)
“And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” (Mat 26:39)
day 1435.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2Ti 1:7)
Lord, I am losing my mind. Help me, please.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2Ti 1:7)
Lord, I am losing my mind. Help me, please.
November 5, 2025 at 9:35 PM
day 1435.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2Ti 1:7)
Lord, I am losing my mind. Help me, please.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2Ti 1:7)
Lord, I am losing my mind. Help me, please.
day 1436. in bed.. finally. but still anxious.. why?
November 5, 2025 at 3:38 AM
day 1436. in bed.. finally. but still anxious.. why?
day 1437.
“O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.” (Lam 3:58)
I want so much to die, but there is a part of me that still wants to live. And God has redeemed my life.. how can I die..?
“O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.” (Lam 3:58)
I want so much to die, but there is a part of me that still wants to live. And God has redeemed my life.. how can I die..?
November 4, 2025 at 10:05 AM
day 1437.
“O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.” (Lam 3:58)
I want so much to die, but there is a part of me that still wants to live. And God has redeemed my life.. how can I die..?
“O Lord, thou hast pleaded the causes of my soul; thou hast redeemed my life.” (Lam 3:58)
I want so much to die, but there is a part of me that still wants to live. And God has redeemed my life.. how can I die..?
day 1438. deep breaths. prayer.
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” (Isa 26:3)
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” (Isa 26:3)
November 3, 2025 at 10:20 AM
day 1438. deep breaths. prayer.
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” (Isa 26:3)
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” (Isa 26:3)
day 1439. an alright day, thank God.
November 2, 2025 at 4:05 AM
day 1439. an alright day, thank God.
day 1440. back to tomorrow.. i can jump tomorrow. good days, bad days.
November 1, 2025 at 6:52 AM
day 1440. back to tomorrow.. i can jump tomorrow. good days, bad days.
day 1441. today is tomorrow.. if i just jumped, everything would be all over.
October 30, 2025 at 9:24 PM
day 1441. today is tomorrow.. if i just jumped, everything would be all over.
day 1442. tomorrow.. I can jump tomorrow. I could book a flight to somewhere nice and cold, sit by the sea with the cool wind blowing, enjoying a drink or two. then I could jump into the sea and just forget everything. tomorrow I could do that.
October 30, 2025 at 12:18 PM
day 1442. tomorrow.. I can jump tomorrow. I could book a flight to somewhere nice and cold, sit by the sea with the cool wind blowing, enjoying a drink or two. then I could jump into the sea and just forget everything. tomorrow I could do that.
day 1442. I can jump tomorrow.
October 30, 2025 at 3:52 AM
day 1442. I can jump tomorrow.
day 1443. feeling like I’m at the end of my tether again.
October 29, 2025 at 7:25 AM
day 1443. feeling like I’m at the end of my tether again.
day 1444. worked for 16h.
God is good.
God is good.
October 28, 2025 at 2:42 PM
day 1444. worked for 16h.
God is good.
God is good.