Jill Hand
@jhandy.bsky.social
Author of the Trapnell Southern gothic humorous thriller series. Try it, you’ll like it. Getting too old for this shit, but showing up anyway. Excelsior!
Currently reading Baby Driver by the late Jan Kerouac. It’s an autobiographical novel by Jack Kerouac’s daughter. She met her famous father twice, briefly, and holy guacamole! What a life she led!
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
November 17, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Currently reading Baby Driver by the late Jan Kerouac. It’s an autobiographical novel by Jack Kerouac’s daughter. She met her famous father twice, briefly, and holy guacamole! What a life she led!
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
IMO she was a much better writer than her distant, disinterested dad. Read it and see what you think.
Does your brain ever glitch, causing you to tell customer service personnel things like, “You mailed me the thingy that makes the internet go faster, but when I plugged it in to the box-thing with lights on it, the internet doesn’t go?”
No?
Me either.
No?
Me either.
November 14, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Does your brain ever glitch, causing you to tell customer service personnel things like, “You mailed me the thingy that makes the internet go faster, but when I plugged it in to the box-thing with lights on it, the internet doesn’t go?”
No?
Me either.
No?
Me either.
Dick Cheney is dead. What’s everyone having for breakfast? I’m having granola.
November 4, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Dick Cheney is dead. What’s everyone having for breakfast? I’m having granola.
Shopping with my son for his first house, I find myself asking him, “Remind me, was that the one that smelled like urine or the one with the Teletubbies wallpaper?”
October 30, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Shopping with my son for his first house, I find myself asking him, “Remind me, was that the one that smelled like urine or the one with the Teletubbies wallpaper?”
When I was a child, among the businesses in my town were the Rainbow Car Wash and Rainbow Carpet Cleaning.Their signage pictured a rainbow.🌈
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
October 23, 2025 at 4:22 PM
When I was a child, among the businesses in my town were the Rainbow Car Wash and Rainbow Carpet Cleaning.Their signage pictured a rainbow.🌈
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
Nobody freaked out and demanded the names be changed, claiming: tHe rAiNBow REPreSenT GoD pRoMiSe NoT to dO anOTher fLooD aNd iS nOT To bE tRIFLed WiTH!
I just want to put it out there that I was not involved in the Louvre Museum jewelry heist. I wasn’t even invited to participate, which annoys me.
October 21, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I just want to put it out there that I was not involved in the Louvre Museum jewelry heist. I wasn’t even invited to participate, which annoys me.
Ten-year-old me would buy this 19.5-inch polyresin statue without hesitation and proudly display it in the front yard, for all my friends to gaze upon with envy.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
October 21, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Ten-year-old me would buy this 19.5-inch polyresin statue without hesitation and proudly display it in the front yard, for all my friends to gaze upon with envy.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
I’m still tempted, but I’d want it to be life size, with animatronic movements and whinnying, galloping sounds.
My town’s water department presented us with a gift of a 10-cup Britta water filter and pitcher worth at least $16 retail, to make up for having ignored our complaints about drastically low water volume.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
October 9, 2025 at 3:49 PM
My town’s water department presented us with a gift of a 10-cup Britta water filter and pitcher worth at least $16 retail, to make up for having ignored our complaints about drastically low water volume.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
Now they’re out there with a device called a mole, installing a new water line.
Kids growing up on the mean streets of suburban New Jersey learn early to double consonants when adding a suffix to a stressed syllable ending in a single vowel and consonant.
October 8, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Kids growing up on the mean streets of suburban New Jersey learn early to double consonants when adding a suffix to a stressed syllable ending in a single vowel and consonant.
“These chilis are very, very hot,” the waiter said.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
October 6, 2025 at 4:47 PM
“These chilis are very, very hot,” the waiter said.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
“Be careful,” the waiter said.
“Try a tiny bite first,” the waiter said.
But did I listen?
Reader, I did not.
Saw a loon yesterday at a marina on the Navesink River. It dove under the water too fast to take a photo. They don’t often turn up as far south as New Jersey. Might be climate change, IDK.
October 3, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Saw a loon yesterday at a marina on the Navesink River. It dove under the water too fast to take a photo. They don’t often turn up as far south as New Jersey. Might be climate change, IDK.
Help solve a mystery
September 26, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Help solve a mystery
Crab Rangoon! I love it so.
September 25, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Crab Rangoon! I love it so.
"What the president was trying to do, in this very humorous and very unique way, was highlight how hard it is for us to forgive our enemies," the vice president said.
Yep, what a kidder, that Donny! Guy shoulda done standup. He would’ve wowed ‘em in the Poconos.
Yep, what a kidder, that Donny! Guy shoulda done standup. He would’ve wowed ‘em in the Poconos.
September 24, 2025 at 9:39 PM
"What the president was trying to do, in this very humorous and very unique way, was highlight how hard it is for us to forgive our enemies," the vice president said.
Yep, what a kidder, that Donny! Guy shoulda done standup. He would’ve wowed ‘em in the Poconos.
Yep, what a kidder, that Donny! Guy shoulda done standup. He would’ve wowed ‘em in the Poconos.
Photos strictly forbidden, they said. No picture-taking, or else, they said.
Reader, I did it anyway.
Reader, I did it anyway.
September 18, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Photos strictly forbidden, they said. No picture-taking, or else, they said.
Reader, I did it anyway.
Reader, I did it anyway.
Where’s evil? It’s that part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It’s that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive.
- Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
- Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
September 17, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Where’s evil? It’s that part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side. It’s that part of every man that finds all kinds of ugliness so attractive.
- Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
- Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
Here’s how I imagine it went down:
Trump, at Mar-a-Lago, with some billionaires: “Ya know what the White House needs? A huge, fancy ballroom.”
The billionaires nod in agreement. Trump beckons to a server. “Bring me a Diet Coke, honey.”
She complies.
To the billionaires: “Wouldja look at that ass!”
Trump, at Mar-a-Lago, with some billionaires: “Ya know what the White House needs? A huge, fancy ballroom.”
The billionaires nod in agreement. Trump beckons to a server. “Bring me a Diet Coke, honey.”
She complies.
To the billionaires: “Wouldja look at that ass!”
September 14, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Here’s how I imagine it went down:
Trump, at Mar-a-Lago, with some billionaires: “Ya know what the White House needs? A huge, fancy ballroom.”
The billionaires nod in agreement. Trump beckons to a server. “Bring me a Diet Coke, honey.”
She complies.
To the billionaires: “Wouldja look at that ass!”
Trump, at Mar-a-Lago, with some billionaires: “Ya know what the White House needs? A huge, fancy ballroom.”
The billionaires nod in agreement. Trump beckons to a server. “Bring me a Diet Coke, honey.”
She complies.
To the billionaires: “Wouldja look at that ass!”
Song at Parting, by Raymond Chandler
He left her lying in the nude
That sultry night in May.
The neighbors thought it rather rude.
He liked her best that way.
He left a rose beside her head,
A meat-axe in her brain.
A note upon the bureau read:
‘I won’t be back again.’
He left her lying in the nude
That sultry night in May.
The neighbors thought it rather rude.
He liked her best that way.
He left a rose beside her head,
A meat-axe in her brain.
A note upon the bureau read:
‘I won’t be back again.’
September 12, 2025 at 11:47 AM
Song at Parting, by Raymond Chandler
He left her lying in the nude
That sultry night in May.
The neighbors thought it rather rude.
He liked her best that way.
He left a rose beside her head,
A meat-axe in her brain.
A note upon the bureau read:
‘I won’t be back again.’
He left her lying in the nude
That sultry night in May.
The neighbors thought it rather rude.
He liked her best that way.
He left a rose beside her head,
A meat-axe in her brain.
A note upon the bureau read:
‘I won’t be back again.’
Just a snack to hold us over until the entrées arrive
September 12, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Just a snack to hold us over until the entrées arrive
When did clowns go from being harmless entertainers beloved by children and adults alike to terrifying nightmare creatures?
I’m guessing somewhere around 1965, but why?
I’m guessing somewhere around 1965, but why?
September 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
When did clowns go from being harmless entertainers beloved by children and adults alike to terrifying nightmare creatures?
I’m guessing somewhere around 1965, but why?
I’m guessing somewhere around 1965, but why?
My husband asked me to bring home a pecan Danish, but he doesn’t want one now, not after I texted him this pic and assured him that the object in the foreground is a pecan, not a cockroach.
September 6, 2025 at 5:08 PM
My husband asked me to bring home a pecan Danish, but he doesn’t want one now, not after I texted him this pic and assured him that the object in the foreground is a pecan, not a cockroach.
The lights are on, but nobody’s home. I ❤️ Pockets; there’s just not a lot going on upstairs.
September 4, 2025 at 2:42 PM
The lights are on, but nobody’s home. I ❤️ Pockets; there’s just not a lot going on upstairs.