Jesse Shultz
@jesseshultz.bsky.social
"This is a quote to show the social media world who I am in a nutshell." - Socrates
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Jesse Shultz
@jesseshultz.bsky.social
· Jan 31
I was told to make my passwords complicated, so I always use: "MyRel@ti0nshipWithMyM0th3r"
White House refers to 1981 study that states pregnant women who take Ephemerol can cause scanners. 🤯
September 23, 2025 at 11:58 PM
White House refers to 1981 study that states pregnant women who take Ephemerol can cause scanners. 🤯
We're watching Back to the Future. I just realized how noble it was of the old man, who people called a nut case and weird for befriending a teenage boy, to announce and then actively draw the fire of machine gun and bazooka wielding terrorists to save the boy.
July 9, 2025 at 1:39 AM
We're watching Back to the Future. I just realized how noble it was of the old man, who people called a nut case and weird for befriending a teenage boy, to announce and then actively draw the fire of machine gun and bazooka wielding terrorists to save the boy.
The reason I have an aversion to sunny side up eggs is because that's your brain on drugs.
July 6, 2025 at 3:00 AM
The reason I have an aversion to sunny side up eggs is because that's your brain on drugs.
"LFG!" is the most popular comment on the least interesting things. And the more O's you add to "go," the worse it is.
June 25, 2025 at 3:31 AM
"LFG!" is the most popular comment on the least interesting things. And the more O's you add to "go," the worse it is.
While watching Short Circuit, I realized the current American defense budget of a trillion dollars wouldn't look so bad if only our robot lasers could disintegrate Russian tanks AND de-pants estranged boyfriends being assholes.
May 28, 2025 at 1:03 AM
While watching Short Circuit, I realized the current American defense budget of a trillion dollars wouldn't look so bad if only our robot lasers could disintegrate Russian tanks AND de-pants estranged boyfriends being assholes.
It's just "possum." "O Possum" is their national anthem.
May 24, 2025 at 1:55 PM
It's just "possum." "O Possum" is their national anthem.
I wish my phone would stop autocorrecting "put" to "out." Or stop outting the keys so close together.
May 11, 2025 at 1:27 AM
I wish my phone would stop autocorrecting "put" to "out." Or stop outting the keys so close together.
I know nothing about Pokémon or Pokéballs but my kids are playing one of the video games and all I hear is, "you literally don't have the balls to do that."
April 15, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I know nothing about Pokémon or Pokéballs but my kids are playing one of the video games and all I hear is, "you literally don't have the balls to do that."
If there's ever a group of people that approach me and want me dead, I hope to take it in stride like in an 80s movie and just say, "we got company."
April 12, 2025 at 7:33 PM
If there's ever a group of people that approach me and want me dead, I hope to take it in stride like in an 80s movie and just say, "we got company."
The worst time for your phone to die is right before changing the accidental laughing reaction to sad on someone's grieving FB post.
March 13, 2025 at 11:44 PM
The worst time for your phone to die is right before changing the accidental laughing reaction to sad on someone's grieving FB post.
Old lady to the grocery store clerk: "Happy Valentimes." It was too adorable to take issue in my mind. We, indeed, Iive in Valen times, grandma. Enjoy that pork loin and multiple boxes of rice pilaf with the one you love.
February 14, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Old lady to the grocery store clerk: "Happy Valentimes." It was too adorable to take issue in my mind. We, indeed, Iive in Valen times, grandma. Enjoy that pork loin and multiple boxes of rice pilaf with the one you love.
We've gotten to the point that when school is closed because of ice, we think it's because of deportations.
February 6, 2025 at 8:25 PM
We've gotten to the point that when school is closed because of ice, we think it's because of deportations.
Clients say I offer a real awkwardticity to their projects.
February 6, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Clients say I offer a real awkwardticity to their projects.
Is you is or is you ain't my grammar teacher?
February 3, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Is you is or is you ain't my grammar teacher?
Feb 2nd always makes my inner 12 year old self chuckle when I hear, "Gobbler's Knob."
February 2, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Feb 2nd always makes my inner 12 year old self chuckle when I hear, "Gobbler's Knob."
I ate a candy heart that said, "Be Nine." Maybe it means good vibes during a biopsy or a lost bingo piece.
February 1, 2025 at 3:30 PM
I ate a candy heart that said, "Be Nine." Maybe it means good vibes during a biopsy or a lost bingo piece.
Jesus, Mary and JoBeth Williams
January 31, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Jesus, Mary and JoBeth Williams
Has anyone ever counted backwards by Mississippis?
January 31, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Has anyone ever counted backwards by Mississippis?
I was told to make my passwords complicated, so I always use: "MyRel@ti0nshipWithMyM0th3r"
January 31, 2025 at 1:50 AM
I was told to make my passwords complicated, so I always use: "MyRel@ti0nshipWithMyM0th3r"
I've been on this for 6 minutes and so far nazi free.
January 31, 2025 at 1:36 AM
I've been on this for 6 minutes and so far nazi free.