Pinned
I find it's easier to psych myself up to clean my apartment if I pretend that I am the maid judging and condemning my lifestyle as I go.
Wow likely spam is in love with me
November 19, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Wow likely spam is in love with me
do you think the people shoving a camera up my asshole will care if I shave my legs or not
November 19, 2025 at 3:18 AM
do you think the people shoving a camera up my asshole will care if I shave my legs or not
I really don't see the problem with regenerating Bond just get David Tennant to do it everybody is always happy to see him again
November 12, 2025 at 2:48 AM
I really don't see the problem with regenerating Bond just get David Tennant to do it everybody is always happy to see him again
Always forget the journey to the Air Canada gate at Heathrow is like an Esher painting.
November 7, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Always forget the journey to the Air Canada gate at Heathrow is like an Esher painting.
On plane to London flight attendant gave me some napkins whispered you have some crisps in your hair
November 3, 2025 at 3:22 PM
On plane to London flight attendant gave me some napkins whispered you have some crisps in your hair
In Málaga at restaurant owned by Antonio Banderas waited forever for a table HES NOT EVEN HERE
October 29, 2025 at 8:27 PM
In Málaga at restaurant owned by Antonio Banderas waited forever for a table HES NOT EVEN HERE
Drew you a map you got no excuses
October 29, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Drew you a map you got no excuses
My BFF helping me get my leather pants off after the club
October 25, 2025 at 3:44 PM
My BFF helping me get my leather pants off after the club
@thehornesection.bsky.social Asked for dairy free milk in a Spanish coffee shop and the barista recommended pea milk. I think you already know my verdict. He was delighted and I took all the credit sorry
October 25, 2025 at 3:18 PM
@thehornesection.bsky.social Asked for dairy free milk in a Spanish coffee shop and the barista recommended pea milk. I think you already know my verdict. He was delighted and I took all the credit sorry
omg just found a chin hair moments before boarding an 8 hour flight how am I supposed to sleep now
October 23, 2025 at 9:32 PM
omg just found a chin hair moments before boarding an 8 hour flight how am I supposed to sleep now
If I had the confidence of this person using a repeating gif as thier corporate email signature I could rule the world.
October 15, 2025 at 3:40 PM
If I had the confidence of this person using a repeating gif as thier corporate email signature I could rule the world.
Looking at commercial like oh that food looks good then see it's an ad for pepto bismol
October 10, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Looking at commercial like oh that food looks good then see it's an ad for pepto bismol
If my neighbor and I can hear each other screaming at the Jays through our open balcony doors that's kind of a date right?
October 9, 2025 at 2:37 AM
If my neighbor and I can hear each other screaming at the Jays through our open balcony doors that's kind of a date right?
Just had to do 5 no thank yous to get fortune teller away from me the 5th was with firm eye contact now im scared she put a curse on me
September 27, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Just had to do 5 no thank yous to get fortune teller away from me the 5th was with firm eye contact now im scared she put a curse on me
Everyone googling "Robert Redford young" and pausing on that pic with the mustache I see you
September 16, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Everyone googling "Robert Redford young" and pausing on that pic with the mustache I see you
Shipping Colin Farrell and Reba McEntire put it on TLC
September 15, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Shipping Colin Farrell and Reba McEntire put it on TLC
These guys are telling me I can't add Colin Firth to my Fantasy Football roster because "he doesn't play football" um hello it's a fantasy?
September 12, 2025 at 1:48 PM
These guys are telling me I can't add Colin Firth to my Fantasy Football roster because "he doesn't play football" um hello it's a fantasy?
Last night my friend's son poured the au jus for his beef dip on his side salad because he thought it was vinaigrette anyways he's off to university today good luck x
August 31, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Last night my friend's son poured the au jus for his beef dip on his side salad because he thought it was vinaigrette anyways he's off to university today good luck x
The pashminas are ready
August 31, 2025 at 10:07 PM
The pashminas are ready
TO THE WINDMILL, TO THE WALL
August 19, 2025 at 6:29 PM
TO THE WINDMILL, TO THE WALL
I don't like the term middle aged, I prefer to say I'm in my Rum & Raisin era.
August 16, 2025 at 3:46 AM
I don't like the term middle aged, I prefer to say I'm in my Rum & Raisin era.
It has my name on it but it it not all about me. Jen Pawol is the first woman to serve as home plate umpire in MLB history, and I am here for it, too.
August 14, 2025 at 8:06 PM
It has my name on it but it it not all about me. Jen Pawol is the first woman to serve as home plate umpire in MLB history, and I am here for it, too.
google ai results are like the debate me guy
August 11, 2025 at 4:09 AM
google ai results are like the debate me guy
Me looking at Mrs Doubtfire going oh I didn't know Remington Steele was in this
July 30, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Me looking at Mrs Doubtfire going oh I didn't know Remington Steele was in this