@jeffhelzner.bsky.social
Former academic philosopher. Currently measuring and estimating stuff in the insurance industry. Interested in decision making, uncertainty, and long walks on the beach.
Pinned
People who work in areas like academia or journalism might never believe it, but there are entire industries full of well-paid centrists who have no reason to share their opinions on social media and who enjoy spending time with their families.
My academic friends often ask what LinkedIn is like—and whether it’s a family-friendly place like Bluesky. Well, I just saw this on LinkedIn. You be the judge.
November 17, 2025 at 1:21 AM
My academic friends often ask what LinkedIn is like—and whether it’s a family-friendly place like Bluesky. Well, I just saw this on LinkedIn. You be the judge.
@dol.gov really captured the two Pittsburgh schools of philosophy. On the left, someone who looks like they belong in an engineering department. On the right, someone who works in a faux-gothic tower.
August 31, 2025 at 3:44 PM
@dol.gov really captured the two Pittsburgh schools of philosophy. On the left, someone who looks like they belong in an engineering department. On the right, someone who works in a faux-gothic tower.
Reposted
At Carnegie Mellon, my advisor bet cappuccinos on whether the Pirates would lose by 5+. Lovely tradition. At Columbia, the philosophy dept’s coffee machine was robbed by a non-student in a Che Guevara shirt and septum ring. Perfect metaphor for both places.
What is your department's coffee practice? What should it be?
Academic Equipment: Coffee at the Office - Daily Nous
For the latest installment of the occasional academic equipment series, let's talk coffee. How is coffee done in your department? Is it every-coffee-drinker-for-themselves? Is there a communal coffee-...
dailynous.com
August 30, 2025 at 3:39 PM
At Carnegie Mellon, my advisor bet cappuccinos on whether the Pirates would lose by 5+. Lovely tradition. At Columbia, the philosophy dept’s coffee machine was robbed by a non-student in a Che Guevara shirt and septum ring. Perfect metaphor for both places.
At Carnegie Mellon, my advisor bet cappuccinos on whether the Pirates would lose by 5+. Lovely tradition. At Columbia, the philosophy dept’s coffee machine was robbed by a non-student in a Che Guevara shirt and septum ring. Perfect metaphor for both places.
What is your department's coffee practice? What should it be?
Academic Equipment: Coffee at the Office - Daily Nous
For the latest installment of the occasional academic equipment series, let's talk coffee. How is coffee done in your department? Is it every-coffee-drinker-for-themselves? Is there a communal coffee-...
dailynous.com
August 30, 2025 at 3:39 PM
At Carnegie Mellon, my advisor bet cappuccinos on whether the Pirates would lose by 5+. Lovely tradition. At Columbia, the philosophy dept’s coffee machine was robbed by a non-student in a Che Guevara shirt and septum ring. Perfect metaphor for both places.
Maybe it’s time to move the US capital back to New York — vastly superior to DC in every way.
August 11, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Maybe it’s time to move the US capital back to New York — vastly superior to DC in every way.
Reposted
I like to keep oranges in the fridge. There’s nothing like a nearly frozen clementine on a hot summer day. Sorry.
August 4, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I like to keep oranges in the fridge. There’s nothing like a nearly frozen clementine on a hot summer day. Sorry.
Reposted
Some people are driven by the faintest hope of affirmation. They’re liabilities.
August 2, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Some people are driven by the faintest hope of affirmation. They’re liabilities.
Reposted
I live a few blocks from Di Fara.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
August 7, 2025 at 1:19 AM
I live a few blocks from Di Fara.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
People who work in areas like academia or journalism might never believe it, but there are entire industries full of well-paid centrists who have no reason to share their opinions on social media and who enjoy spending time with their families.
August 9, 2025 at 12:25 AM
People who work in areas like academia or journalism might never believe it, but there are entire industries full of well-paid centrists who have no reason to share their opinions on social media and who enjoy spending time with their families.
I live a few blocks from Di Fara.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
August 7, 2025 at 1:19 AM
I live a few blocks from Di Fara.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
I’ve eaten Di Fara pizza.
Di Fara pizza is a friend of mine.
You, frozen pizza, are no Di Fara pizza.
I like to keep oranges in the fridge. There’s nothing like a nearly frozen clementine on a hot summer day. Sorry.
August 4, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I like to keep oranges in the fridge. There’s nothing like a nearly frozen clementine on a hot summer day. Sorry.
Honestly wasn’t expecting something as understated as this.
August 2, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Honestly wasn’t expecting something as understated as this.
Some people are driven by the faintest hope of affirmation. They’re liabilities.
August 2, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Some people are driven by the faintest hope of affirmation. They’re liabilities.
Doing some mandatory corporate training on innovation, and it includes a TED talk by Dan Ariely. 😂
July 31, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Doing some mandatory corporate training on innovation, and it includes a TED talk by Dan Ariely. 😂
Reposted
Ask how your academic fanzine could turn into a pitchbot for The New Yorker.
Issues at the intersection of sexual and professional ethics: the pseudonymous author, a self-confessed "player", wonders "whether my playerhood is contributing to my flourishing" and "what effect does my playerhood have on my discipline?"
To Philosophers of Easy Virtue (guest post) - Daily Nous
"My experiences have led me to believe that one of the best things that men in a professional field can do for feminism is to learn to take sexual and romantic rejection well." That's one of the obser...
dailynous.com
July 29, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Ask how your academic fanzine could turn into a pitchbot for The New Yorker.
Ask how your academic fanzine could turn into a pitchbot for The New Yorker.
Issues at the intersection of sexual and professional ethics: the pseudonymous author, a self-confessed "player", wonders "whether my playerhood is contributing to my flourishing" and "what effect does my playerhood have on my discipline?"
To Philosophers of Easy Virtue (guest post) - Daily Nous
"My experiences have led me to believe that one of the best things that men in a professional field can do for feminism is to learn to take sexual and romantic rejection well." That's one of the obser...
dailynous.com
July 29, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Ask how your academic fanzine could turn into a pitchbot for The New Yorker.
There’s a certain type of philosopher who obsesses over the subjectivity of prior distributions—and frankly, it’s embarrassing. Stop it. You sound like you’ve never fit a real model in your life. #notfunatparties
July 27, 2025 at 8:47 PM
There’s a certain type of philosopher who obsesses over the subjectivity of prior distributions—and frankly, it’s embarrassing. Stop it. You sound like you’ve never fit a real model in your life. #notfunatparties
Reposted
Music from speaker:
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: isn’t that the Meibo theme?
Me: ohh yeah
Guest: funny
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: is this going on for longer than normal?
Me: yes, this is an extended version.
Guest: they released it?
Me: no, I had it commissioned.
🎶 Miebo
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: isn’t that the Meibo theme?
Me: ohh yeah
Guest: funny
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: is this going on for longer than normal?
Me: yes, this is an extended version.
Guest: they released it?
Me: no, I had it commissioned.
🎶 Miebo
July 19, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Music from speaker:
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: isn’t that the Meibo theme?
Me: ohh yeah
Guest: funny
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: is this going on for longer than normal?
Me: yes, this is an extended version.
Guest: they released it?
Me: no, I had it commissioned.
🎶 Miebo
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: isn’t that the Meibo theme?
Me: ohh yeah
Guest: funny
🎶 Miebo ohh yeah 🎶
Guest: is this going on for longer than normal?
Me: yes, this is an extended version.
Guest: they released it?
Me: no, I had it commissioned.
🎶 Miebo
Reposted
Do we really have to be this inept, New York? Come on.
July 23, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Do we really have to be this inept, New York? Come on.
Reposted
It’s pretty wild how Ozzy, who was portrayed as a total menace when I was a teenager, turned out to be, by most accounts, a genuinely nice guy. I’m going to think about that for a moment the next time I’m criticizing the music my kids listen to.
July 25, 2025 at 2:00 AM
It’s pretty wild how Ozzy, who was portrayed as a total menace when I was a teenager, turned out to be, by most accounts, a genuinely nice guy. I’m going to think about that for a moment the next time I’m criticizing the music my kids listen to.
It’s pretty wild how Ozzy, who was portrayed as a total menace when I was a teenager, turned out to be, by most accounts, a genuinely nice guy. I’m going to think about that for a moment the next time I’m criticizing the music my kids listen to.
July 25, 2025 at 2:00 AM
It’s pretty wild how Ozzy, who was portrayed as a total menace when I was a teenager, turned out to be, by most accounts, a genuinely nice guy. I’m going to think about that for a moment the next time I’m criticizing the music my kids listen to.
Reposted
LinkedIn data science is a Black Mirror episode
July 24, 2025 at 11:16 PM
LinkedIn data science is a Black Mirror episode
LinkedIn data science is a Black Mirror episode
July 24, 2025 at 11:16 PM
LinkedIn data science is a Black Mirror episode
Do we really have to be this inept, New York? Come on.
July 23, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Do we really have to be this inept, New York? Come on.
I see there’s a fresh crop of ‘How I Start My Day’ videos on LinkedIn. They don’t call it the class of the social networks for nothing.
July 20, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I see there’s a fresh crop of ‘How I Start My Day’ videos on LinkedIn. They don’t call it the class of the social networks for nothing.