JayD1313
@jayd1313.bsky.social
Boring Accountant Guy. Owner of 2 small businesses. Loves sport, and finding laughs in everything.
Jets Bears Storm
Jets Bears Storm
Got up today to find my doors smashed in and everything was gone. What kind of sicko does that to someone else's advent calendar?
December 2, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Got up today to find my doors smashed in and everything was gone. What kind of sicko does that to someone else's advent calendar?
I was proud to be the first dyslexic Santa booked in our town. Not sure if it was the trident or the horns but all the kids cried.
December 2, 2025 at 12:22 AM
I was proud to be the first dyslexic Santa booked in our town. Not sure if it was the trident or the horns but all the kids cried.
I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
November 30, 2025 at 6:58 PM
I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
Could not finish it.
Got up to P.
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
I was like well dam.
I was like well dam.
November 29, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water.
I was like well dam.
I was like well dam.
I have an inferiority complex,
but it’s not a very good one.
but it’s not a very good one.
November 28, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I have an inferiority complex,
but it’s not a very good one.
but it’s not a very good one.
I took my niece to see a double feature from Disney. She read the marquee and started crying. It read:
Finding Nemo
Frozen
Finding Nemo
Frozen
November 27, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I took my niece to see a double feature from Disney. She read the marquee and started crying. It read:
Finding Nemo
Frozen
Finding Nemo
Frozen
My brother's been sent to prison for excessively loud burping.
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
November 25, 2025 at 6:33 PM
My brother's been sent to prison for excessively loud burping.
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
It's OK, he's been let out with a pardon
Due to a spelling error, some of America's most dangerous criminals are currently waiting at Heathrow.
November 24, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Due to a spelling error, some of America's most dangerous criminals are currently waiting at Heathrow.
A ship from China carrying yo-yo’s sank 6 times yesterday.
November 23, 2025 at 7:50 PM
A ship from China carrying yo-yo’s sank 6 times yesterday.
Just ordered the vanity number plate
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
November 19, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Just ordered the vanity number plate
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
BAA-BAA.
Should look great on my black Jeep.
I used to go out with a woman called Sue Denim....then I realised it wasn't her real name.
November 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM
I used to go out with a woman called Sue Denim....then I realised it wasn't her real name.
The guy who owned Hoyt’s Cinemas has sadly died.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
November 17, 2025 at 7:29 PM
The guy who owned Hoyt’s Cinemas has sadly died.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
His funeral is on Monday at 2.10, 4.20 & 6.40.
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up on their dreams and got real jobs.
November 16, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up on their dreams and got real jobs.
Wimbledon have revealed plans to honour Sir Andy Murray with a statue at the All England Club.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
November 14, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Wimbledon have revealed plans to honour Sir Andy Murray with a statue at the All England Club.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
When asked if it will be life like, a Wimbledon spokesperson said it will be more interesting.
IF I REFUSE TO DO CARDIO, DOES THAT COUNT AS RESISTANCE TRAINING
November 13, 2025 at 7:02 PM
IF I REFUSE TO DO CARDIO, DOES THAT COUNT AS RESISTANCE TRAINING
I wrote a book.
Conquer your fear of climbing ladders in 12 easy steps
Conquer your fear of climbing ladders in 12 easy steps
November 12, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I wrote a book.
Conquer your fear of climbing ladders in 12 easy steps
Conquer your fear of climbing ladders in 12 easy steps
I spent Sunday afternoon watching a film about fly fishing.
The cast was amazing!
The cast was amazing!
November 10, 2025 at 7:14 PM
I spent Sunday afternoon watching a film about fly fishing.
The cast was amazing!
The cast was amazing!
I just found out Steffi Graff has a sister called Polly.
November 9, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I just found out Steffi Graff has a sister called Polly.
What is a word with a little laugh in the middle.
It really is…
It really is…
November 8, 2025 at 9:40 PM
What is a word with a little laugh in the middle.
It really is…
It really is…
Went to the theatre to watch a play, and the lead actress fell through the floor.
It was just a stage she was going through.
It was just a stage she was going through.
November 7, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Went to the theatre to watch a play, and the lead actress fell through the floor.
It was just a stage she was going through.
It was just a stage she was going through.
I haven’t maintained my subscription to Scrabble Club.
They’ve started sending threatening letters.
They’ve started sending threatening letters.
November 6, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I haven’t maintained my subscription to Scrabble Club.
They’ve started sending threatening letters.
They’ve started sending threatening letters.
"When you eat a lot of spicy food you can lose your sense of taste.
When I was In India last summer I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
When I was In India last summer I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
November 5, 2025 at 7:06 PM
"When you eat a lot of spicy food you can lose your sense of taste.
When I was In India last summer I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
When I was In India last summer I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.
Don't Eat Liquorice Before Bedtime... It Makes You Dream Of Allsorts
November 4, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Don't Eat Liquorice Before Bedtime... It Makes You Dream Of Allsorts
I've had an argument with my local postman.
I got home from work yesterday, and in the letterbox was a magazine about Chinese sailing ships.
I said to postie, "Mate, did you not see the sign 'NO JUNK MAIL'?"
I got home from work yesterday, and in the letterbox was a magazine about Chinese sailing ships.
I said to postie, "Mate, did you not see the sign 'NO JUNK MAIL'?"
November 3, 2025 at 7:26 PM
I've had an argument with my local postman.
I got home from work yesterday, and in the letterbox was a magazine about Chinese sailing ships.
I said to postie, "Mate, did you not see the sign 'NO JUNK MAIL'?"
I got home from work yesterday, and in the letterbox was a magazine about Chinese sailing ships.
I said to postie, "Mate, did you not see the sign 'NO JUNK MAIL'?"
I bought a dog from a blacksmith.
15 minutes after I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
15 minutes after I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
November 2, 2025 at 7:32 PM
I bought a dog from a blacksmith.
15 minutes after I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
15 minutes after I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.