Jason Behenna
@jasobear.bsky.social
What movies based in the future that involve kids being kidnapped aren’t addressing is that kids in the future can’t be kidnapped because insta moms seem to report each of their kids has an air tag in their sock, lunch box, jacket pocket, sewn into their hair, just under the skin in their armpit, in
December 4, 2025 at 11:20 PM
What movies based in the future that involve kids being kidnapped aren’t addressing is that kids in the future can’t be kidnapped because insta moms seem to report each of their kids has an air tag in their sock, lunch box, jacket pocket, sewn into their hair, just under the skin in their armpit, in
I have two wishes that sort of combine into one wish:
1. If I ever make a sex tape, I want narration.
2. When I die, I want a narrator for my funeral.
The narrator will be Werner Herzog.
He will provide the script
1. If I ever make a sex tape, I want narration.
2. When I die, I want a narrator for my funeral.
The narrator will be Werner Herzog.
He will provide the script
November 27, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I have two wishes that sort of combine into one wish:
1. If I ever make a sex tape, I want narration.
2. When I die, I want a narrator for my funeral.
The narrator will be Werner Herzog.
He will provide the script
1. If I ever make a sex tape, I want narration.
2. When I die, I want a narrator for my funeral.
The narrator will be Werner Herzog.
He will provide the script
My favorite person in the world is in China on a 12 hour time difference, so I barely get to talk to her and I don’t fucking like it.
She has about 30 emails of cat photos and backlogged thoughts from my brain that she has to deal with every morning as I am going to bed.
She has about 30 emails of cat photos and backlogged thoughts from my brain that she has to deal with every morning as I am going to bed.
November 1, 2025 at 5:55 PM
My favorite person in the world is in China on a 12 hour time difference, so I barely get to talk to her and I don’t fucking like it.
She has about 30 emails of cat photos and backlogged thoughts from my brain that she has to deal with every morning as I am going to bed.
She has about 30 emails of cat photos and backlogged thoughts from my brain that she has to deal with every morning as I am going to bed.
Man…TWICE they didn’t give a shit about Ernie Hudson.
He’s literally a ghostbuster in the movie. It’s the title of the movie.
He’s literally a ghostbuster in the movie. It’s the title of the movie.
October 22, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Man…TWICE they didn’t give a shit about Ernie Hudson.
He’s literally a ghostbuster in the movie. It’s the title of the movie.
He’s literally a ghostbuster in the movie. It’s the title of the movie.
*when the recipe only calls for 2 cloves of garlic*
Me:
Me:
October 22, 2025 at 7:16 PM
*when the recipe only calls for 2 cloves of garlic*
Me:
Me:
*people protesting bad bunny*
Listen, I enjoy Mexico like everyone else. I have my fiestaware, I’m even known to put some iceberg lettuce on my Tacos (pronounced Tak-ohs)
I just don’t know why he has to sing all his songs in Mexican. I also don’t care for gyrations. That’s for the bedroom.
Listen, I enjoy Mexico like everyone else. I have my fiestaware, I’m even known to put some iceberg lettuce on my Tacos (pronounced Tak-ohs)
I just don’t know why he has to sing all his songs in Mexican. I also don’t care for gyrations. That’s for the bedroom.
October 10, 2025 at 4:23 PM
*people protesting bad bunny*
Listen, I enjoy Mexico like everyone else. I have my fiestaware, I’m even known to put some iceberg lettuce on my Tacos (pronounced Tak-ohs)
I just don’t know why he has to sing all his songs in Mexican. I also don’t care for gyrations. That’s for the bedroom.
Listen, I enjoy Mexico like everyone else. I have my fiestaware, I’m even known to put some iceberg lettuce on my Tacos (pronounced Tak-ohs)
I just don’t know why he has to sing all his songs in Mexican. I also don’t care for gyrations. That’s for the bedroom.
Did you know, and this is true, if you take unpopped popcorn kernels and plant them in your garden, exactly 1 year from when you planted them, you will have unpopped popcorn kernels in your garden.
October 10, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Did you know, and this is true, if you take unpopped popcorn kernels and plant them in your garden, exactly 1 year from when you planted them, you will have unpopped popcorn kernels in your garden.
Data validation is key to all of our daily lives. There are so many scammers, spam, robocalls anymore that even if it was verified that the president of the United States was calling me personally, I would decline it because I don’t respond to scam likely calls.
October 9, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Data validation is key to all of our daily lives. There are so many scammers, spam, robocalls anymore that even if it was verified that the president of the United States was calling me personally, I would decline it because I don’t respond to scam likely calls.
A Halloween version of Beastie Boys “girls” called “ghouls”
The lyrics can basically stay the same but replace she/her with them/they (ghouls have no gender) & replace the sexiest shit
“Ghouls, they really scare me
Ghouls, to scare up my room
Ghouls, haunt the laundry
Ghouls, and in the bathroom”
The lyrics can basically stay the same but replace she/her with them/they (ghouls have no gender) & replace the sexiest shit
“Ghouls, they really scare me
Ghouls, to scare up my room
Ghouls, haunt the laundry
Ghouls, and in the bathroom”
October 9, 2025 at 7:08 PM
A Halloween version of Beastie Boys “girls” called “ghouls”
The lyrics can basically stay the same but replace she/her with them/they (ghouls have no gender) & replace the sexiest shit
“Ghouls, they really scare me
Ghouls, to scare up my room
Ghouls, haunt the laundry
Ghouls, and in the bathroom”
The lyrics can basically stay the same but replace she/her with them/they (ghouls have no gender) & replace the sexiest shit
“Ghouls, they really scare me
Ghouls, to scare up my room
Ghouls, haunt the laundry
Ghouls, and in the bathroom”
Homeless encampments, people begging at stop lights, etc are really annoying and we need to fucking get rid of them.
I propose taxing the rich even slightly and putting in programs that help people instead of destroying their shit and expecting them to…just disappear or magically have money?
I propose taxing the rich even slightly and putting in programs that help people instead of destroying their shit and expecting them to…just disappear or magically have money?
October 9, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Homeless encampments, people begging at stop lights, etc are really annoying and we need to fucking get rid of them.
I propose taxing the rich even slightly and putting in programs that help people instead of destroying their shit and expecting them to…just disappear or magically have money?
I propose taxing the rich even slightly and putting in programs that help people instead of destroying their shit and expecting them to…just disappear or magically have money?
Deport stephen miller
October 8, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Deport stephen miller
There are ten things I do daily that keep me healthy.
1. Pet cat
2. Pet another cat
3. Start a spreadsheet that lets me catalogue and plan against my “enemies”
4. Ice cream cat. Who doesn’t love ice cream, but cat adjacent!
5. Realize just loving cats isn’t enough.
6. Eat a light snack
1. Pet cat
2. Pet another cat
3. Start a spreadsheet that lets me catalogue and plan against my “enemies”
4. Ice cream cat. Who doesn’t love ice cream, but cat adjacent!
5. Realize just loving cats isn’t enough.
6. Eat a light snack
October 7, 2025 at 11:09 PM
There are ten things I do daily that keep me healthy.
1. Pet cat
2. Pet another cat
3. Start a spreadsheet that lets me catalogue and plan against my “enemies”
4. Ice cream cat. Who doesn’t love ice cream, but cat adjacent!
5. Realize just loving cats isn’t enough.
6. Eat a light snack
1. Pet cat
2. Pet another cat
3. Start a spreadsheet that lets me catalogue and plan against my “enemies”
4. Ice cream cat. Who doesn’t love ice cream, but cat adjacent!
5. Realize just loving cats isn’t enough.
6. Eat a light snack
The only AI actor I care about is Haley Joel Osment in sixth sense.
Technology was crazy back then. He looked so real!
Technology was crazy back then. He looked so real!
October 4, 2025 at 12:50 PM
The only AI actor I care about is Haley Joel Osment in sixth sense.
Technology was crazy back then. He looked so real!
Technology was crazy back then. He looked so real!
There are three types of JK we need to watch out for:
1. Jk (rowling) - terf
2. Jk (abbreviation) - just kidding
3. Jk (Simmons) - fantastic character actor and main actor
Don’t do anything shitty, Simmons
1. Jk (rowling) - terf
2. Jk (abbreviation) - just kidding
3. Jk (Simmons) - fantastic character actor and main actor
Don’t do anything shitty, Simmons
October 1, 2025 at 8:50 PM
There are three types of JK we need to watch out for:
1. Jk (rowling) - terf
2. Jk (abbreviation) - just kidding
3. Jk (Simmons) - fantastic character actor and main actor
Don’t do anything shitty, Simmons
1. Jk (rowling) - terf
2. Jk (abbreviation) - just kidding
3. Jk (Simmons) - fantastic character actor and main actor
Don’t do anything shitty, Simmons
Timeline cleanser
September 28, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Timeline cleanser
Under my direction, the hero’s of My Lai didn’t massacre unarmed civilians including children, they showed unwavering bravery to zero opposition and will all get the medal of valor.
September 27, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Under my direction, the hero’s of My Lai didn’t massacre unarmed civilians including children, they showed unwavering bravery to zero opposition and will all get the medal of valor.
Bullshit statements in commercials that I love (not in a fun way, but in a “ads, people are stupid and words only matter to lawyers”
1. “Up to 100%” This replaces the “99% effective”
2. “Don’t take if allergic to …” You can never know that until you take it.
1. “Up to 100%” This replaces the “99% effective”
2. “Don’t take if allergic to …” You can never know that until you take it.
September 25, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Bullshit statements in commercials that I love (not in a fun way, but in a “ads, people are stupid and words only matter to lawyers”
1. “Up to 100%” This replaces the “99% effective”
2. “Don’t take if allergic to …” You can never know that until you take it.
1. “Up to 100%” This replaces the “99% effective”
2. “Don’t take if allergic to …” You can never know that until you take it.
People with small kids: it would be very funny to post videos of them successfully saying the word acetaminophen.
Then you can tell them not only can they be president when they grow up, but they’re currently more qualified than the actual president
Then you can tell them not only can they be president when they grow up, but they’re currently more qualified than the actual president
September 23, 2025 at 1:09 PM
People with small kids: it would be very funny to post videos of them successfully saying the word acetaminophen.
Then you can tell them not only can they be president when they grow up, but they’re currently more qualified than the actual president
Then you can tell them not only can they be president when they grow up, but they’re currently more qualified than the actual president
If I could have a true closed circuit system that recorded my thoughts in real time, I would take it.
I just need transcripts.
My brain works in a way that while actively writing notes on my thoughts, my fingers are about 1/3 the speed of my brain so while I flesh out the 1st thought, 3rd fades
I just need transcripts.
My brain works in a way that while actively writing notes on my thoughts, my fingers are about 1/3 the speed of my brain so while I flesh out the 1st thought, 3rd fades
September 20, 2025 at 9:42 PM
If I could have a true closed circuit system that recorded my thoughts in real time, I would take it.
I just need transcripts.
My brain works in a way that while actively writing notes on my thoughts, my fingers are about 1/3 the speed of my brain so while I flesh out the 1st thought, 3rd fades
I just need transcripts.
My brain works in a way that while actively writing notes on my thoughts, my fingers are about 1/3 the speed of my brain so while I flesh out the 1st thought, 3rd fades
If I say hitler shit, I expect hitler results.
It’s standard Newton’s 3rd law shit.
It’s standard Newton’s 3rd law shit.
September 11, 2025 at 8:12 PM
If I say hitler shit, I expect hitler results.
It’s standard Newton’s 3rd law shit.
It’s standard Newton’s 3rd law shit.
Reposted by Jason Behenna
...with LAZINESS
August 23, 2025 at 12:34 AM
...with LAZINESS
This Gavin Newsom shit is pretty fun. I can’t wait for the end when he announces that he’s not actually running for president and an actual democrat that cares about the issues is going to run.
August 22, 2025 at 4:49 PM
This Gavin Newsom shit is pretty fun. I can’t wait for the end when he announces that he’s not actually running for president and an actual democrat that cares about the issues is going to run.
From a personal standpoint, I would just like to say
FUUUUUCCCKKK!!!
Thank you for you consideration to this matter
FUUUUUCCCKKK!!!
Thank you for you consideration to this matter
August 8, 2025 at 5:18 AM
From a personal standpoint, I would just like to say
FUUUUUCCCKKK!!!
Thank you for you consideration to this matter
FUUUUUCCCKKK!!!
Thank you for you consideration to this matter
Listen, everyone. We have a pedophile in the White House.
I think we’re at the point as a society that we can agree the charmin bears are weird and need to go away
I think we’re at the point as a society that we can agree the charmin bears are weird and need to go away
July 27, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Listen, everyone. We have a pedophile in the White House.
I think we’re at the point as a society that we can agree the charmin bears are weird and need to go away
I think we’re at the point as a society that we can agree the charmin bears are weird and need to go away