Jake Lucas
@jakelucas.bsky.social
I'm a comedian? But then why aren't my posts funny?
Will Jimmy hurry up and eat world already??
April 12, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Will Jimmy hurry up and eat world already??
I'm going to start clapping when the plane lands safely.
February 19, 2025 at 1:52 PM
I'm going to start clapping when the plane lands safely.
2025 is so rough even lofi girl is going through it
January 26, 2025 at 10:39 PM
2025 is so rough even lofi girl is going through it
Then they came for the spooky lakes, and I did not speak out - because I was not a spooky lake.
January 19, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Then they came for the spooky lakes, and I did not speak out - because I was not a spooky lake.
Congestion pricing is really riling up the people with thin blue line bumper stickers.
January 8, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Congestion pricing is really riling up the people with thin blue line bumper stickers.
Bring back the Harlem Shake.
December 12, 2024 at 10:31 PM
Bring back the Harlem Shake.
Remember, remember, the 4th of December,
When a brave soul struck his blows.
With gun and suppressor,
He felled an oppressor.
Deny, Defend, Depose.
When a brave soul struck his blows.
With gun and suppressor,
He felled an oppressor.
Deny, Defend, Depose.
December 5, 2024 at 10:03 PM
Remember, remember, the 4th of December,
When a brave soul struck his blows.
With gun and suppressor,
He felled an oppressor.
Deny, Defend, Depose.
When a brave soul struck his blows.
With gun and suppressor,
He felled an oppressor.
Deny, Defend, Depose.
A manifesto written on shell casings is cool as hell.
December 5, 2024 at 7:41 PM
A manifesto written on shell casings is cool as hell.
They should give him an award and make it out of a piece of the OceanGate sub.
December 5, 2024 at 12:23 AM
They should give him an award and make it out of a piece of the OceanGate sub.
Remember, Remember the 4th of December,
When the UHC head got shot.
It's the reason,
why the rest o' this season,
I'll be smiling to myself a lot.
When the UHC head got shot.
It's the reason,
why the rest o' this season,
I'll be smiling to myself a lot.
December 4, 2024 at 10:46 PM
Remember, Remember the 4th of December,
When the UHC head got shot.
It's the reason,
why the rest o' this season,
I'll be smiling to myself a lot.
When the UHC head got shot.
It's the reason,
why the rest o' this season,
I'll be smiling to myself a lot.
Dealing with autocorrect feels like when your grandmother tries to ask you about the nerd shit you're into. "'Quest?' No, you must mean 'question'." "No, autocorrect. I meant quest." or "Shyriiwook? What??"
November 25, 2024 at 7:13 PM
Dealing with autocorrect feels like when your grandmother tries to ask you about the nerd shit you're into. "'Quest?' No, you must mean 'question'." "No, autocorrect. I meant quest." or "Shyriiwook? What??"
We wouldn't be in this mess if Jimmy had actually eat world.
November 24, 2024 at 12:52 AM
We wouldn't be in this mess if Jimmy had actually eat world.
Excited to hear that blue sky is actually happening.
November 22, 2024 at 10:12 PM
Excited to hear that blue sky is actually happening.
Taylor Swift's career really popped off after she did Cats (2019).
October 10, 2023 at 1:08 PM
Taylor Swift's career really popped off after she did Cats (2019).
Happy bisexual visibility day! For this way one day a year we are free of bisexuals lurking in our streets, unseen by the naked eye, causing havoc like in the 2000s Kevin Bacon vehicle The Hollow Man.
October 1, 2023 at 2:51 AM
Happy bisexual visibility day! For this way one day a year we are free of bisexuals lurking in our streets, unseen by the naked eye, causing havoc like in the 2000s Kevin Bacon vehicle The Hollow Man.
Orphan jokes aren't funny, ya'll. My two kids think they're orphans, and it's a sore subject.
September 20, 2023 at 3:43 AM
Orphan jokes aren't funny, ya'll. My two kids think they're orphans, and it's a sore subject.
I live by two unwritten rules.
1.
2.
1.
2.
August 22, 2023 at 7:56 PM
I live by two unwritten rules.
1.
2.
1.
2.
Me, pounding the table with my fist: "How many times do I have to tell you, old man? Yes! A shrimp fried this rice, and it's about damn time he got the recognition he deserves!"
August 14, 2023 at 3:14 AM
Me, pounding the table with my fist: "How many times do I have to tell you, old man? Yes! A shrimp fried this rice, and it's about damn time he got the recognition he deserves!"
Think it was a coincidence all our girlfriends were asking "would you still love me if I was a worm?" when Dune has just come out? I see through you, ladies. You will not become one Shai-hulud. You will not be the God-Emperor of Arrakis.
August 11, 2023 at 2:20 PM
Think it was a coincidence all our girlfriends were asking "would you still love me if I was a worm?" when Dune has just come out? I see through you, ladies. You will not become one Shai-hulud. You will not be the God-Emperor of Arrakis.
Baldur's Gate 3 has been fun so far. Really appeals to the millennial fantasy of having three friends who are not too busy to hang out with you at any given time.
August 4, 2023 at 7:24 AM
Baldur's Gate 3 has been fun so far. Really appeals to the millennial fantasy of having three friends who are not too busy to hang out with you at any given time.
Standing while you pee versus sitting while you pee? Gentlemen, I pee lying down.
July 29, 2023 at 2:21 PM
Standing while you pee versus sitting while you pee? Gentlemen, I pee lying down.
Post on Bluesky, Shinji. Or Elon will have to do it again.
July 29, 2023 at 2:29 AM
Post on Bluesky, Shinji. Or Elon will have to do it again.