Being a teenage girl in your mid thirties is really weird

Sometimes I do this really cool thing where I’m taking a selfie and know I’m looking all cute and shit and then I hit the shutter button and turn into shrek

Upstairs neighbors are throwing a very gay party. So far the music has been Cher - Believe, Robyn - Dancing On My Own, and The Wizard and I from Wicked.

My parlay : Bad Romance, anything from brat, a least one other musical, either Pink Pony Club or Hot to Go, or Beyoncé.

It should be illegal for your vape to die while you’re on your way to work. A cigarette would never treat me that way.

Shooting dice with God in Plato’s cave, I’m placing wisdom bets
The ones who hate cliches the most are those who haven’t lived them yet

I want to make a YouTube series about a lesbian who drives a penis-shaped truck.

The Dick Van Dyke Show.