Jacques Lebean
@jacqueslebean.bsky.social
The atmosphere at the corners
of my mind
droops,
the spaces inbetween
darkening perceptibly.
Something in the chest
just a little bit
off.
This is your
absence.
of my mind
droops,
the spaces inbetween
darkening perceptibly.
Something in the chest
just a little bit
off.
This is your
absence.
July 14, 2025 at 3:32 PM
The atmosphere at the corners
of my mind
droops,
the spaces inbetween
darkening perceptibly.
Something in the chest
just a little bit
off.
This is your
absence.
of my mind
droops,
the spaces inbetween
darkening perceptibly.
Something in the chest
just a little bit
off.
This is your
absence.
if i forgive you
it is in the service of
my own liberation
it is not a gift
if i forgive you
it does not mean
i want to be around you
or see you
if i forgive you
it is an internal event
a dissolving of resistance
a discovery of peace
a long awaited & deserved relaxation
it is in the service of
my own liberation
it is not a gift
if i forgive you
it does not mean
i want to be around you
or see you
if i forgive you
it is an internal event
a dissolving of resistance
a discovery of peace
a long awaited & deserved relaxation
May 20, 2025 at 6:17 PM
if i forgive you
it is in the service of
my own liberation
it is not a gift
if i forgive you
it does not mean
i want to be around you
or see you
if i forgive you
it is an internal event
a dissolving of resistance
a discovery of peace
a long awaited & deserved relaxation
it is in the service of
my own liberation
it is not a gift
if i forgive you
it does not mean
i want to be around you
or see you
if i forgive you
it is an internal event
a dissolving of resistance
a discovery of peace
a long awaited & deserved relaxation
Lantern of Osiris
thinning the veil
with light
Illuminating that glowing
lattice of Indra's net
sun mysteries
in conjunction with
stone circles
turning away from that
stained
altar of Melchizedek
sacrificial dagger's
bone handle
still in hand
sighing once
then twice
and then rest
thinning the veil
with light
Illuminating that glowing
lattice of Indra's net
sun mysteries
in conjunction with
stone circles
turning away from that
stained
altar of Melchizedek
sacrificial dagger's
bone handle
still in hand
sighing once
then twice
and then rest
May 17, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Lantern of Osiris
thinning the veil
with light
Illuminating that glowing
lattice of Indra's net
sun mysteries
in conjunction with
stone circles
turning away from that
stained
altar of Melchizedek
sacrificial dagger's
bone handle
still in hand
sighing once
then twice
and then rest
thinning the veil
with light
Illuminating that glowing
lattice of Indra's net
sun mysteries
in conjunction with
stone circles
turning away from that
stained
altar of Melchizedek
sacrificial dagger's
bone handle
still in hand
sighing once
then twice
and then rest
the remedy for
your anxiety is not
to hurt me with
your presence
passive, like now or
active, like years ago
i will not sacrifice
things i cherish,
subject myself to
reactivated
erupting wounds
so you can sleep better at night
boundaries
are not aggression
rather, self respect
and preservation
your anxiety is not
to hurt me with
your presence
passive, like now or
active, like years ago
i will not sacrifice
things i cherish,
subject myself to
reactivated
erupting wounds
so you can sleep better at night
boundaries
are not aggression
rather, self respect
and preservation
May 14, 2025 at 6:26 PM
the remedy for
your anxiety is not
to hurt me with
your presence
passive, like now or
active, like years ago
i will not sacrifice
things i cherish,
subject myself to
reactivated
erupting wounds
so you can sleep better at night
boundaries
are not aggression
rather, self respect
and preservation
your anxiety is not
to hurt me with
your presence
passive, like now or
active, like years ago
i will not sacrifice
things i cherish,
subject myself to
reactivated
erupting wounds
so you can sleep better at night
boundaries
are not aggression
rather, self respect
and preservation
delicate flux
interlacing the aether
between us
subtle but discernible
inhabiting together
body sensation shared
with rain scent
and vine shadow
the miles unmeasured
transecting different geographies
interlacing the aether
between us
subtle but discernible
inhabiting together
body sensation shared
with rain scent
and vine shadow
the miles unmeasured
transecting different geographies
May 13, 2025 at 8:01 PM
delicate flux
interlacing the aether
between us
subtle but discernible
inhabiting together
body sensation shared
with rain scent
and vine shadow
the miles unmeasured
transecting different geographies
interlacing the aether
between us
subtle but discernible
inhabiting together
body sensation shared
with rain scent
and vine shadow
the miles unmeasured
transecting different geographies
loose membrane
all around
placed by personal
asuras
helping you sleep
feels better
much better
to forget
for the moment
now stirring
slightest wonder
which moment
the only moment
now ripples
grey fog of loss
waiting in
poisoned peace
an abeyance
until you remember
who you are
all around
placed by personal
asuras
helping you sleep
feels better
much better
to forget
for the moment
now stirring
slightest wonder
which moment
the only moment
now ripples
grey fog of loss
waiting in
poisoned peace
an abeyance
until you remember
who you are
May 12, 2025 at 5:25 PM
loose membrane
all around
placed by personal
asuras
helping you sleep
feels better
much better
to forget
for the moment
now stirring
slightest wonder
which moment
the only moment
now ripples
grey fog of loss
waiting in
poisoned peace
an abeyance
until you remember
who you are
all around
placed by personal
asuras
helping you sleep
feels better
much better
to forget
for the moment
now stirring
slightest wonder
which moment
the only moment
now ripples
grey fog of loss
waiting in
poisoned peace
an abeyance
until you remember
who you are
looking down
gathering marbles
unburdened
by trails of glowing dust
looking up
through veils
those
diaphanous shrouds
eyes lingering to focus
on beyond
looking over
glasses
across teacups
and cream
into you
gathering marbles
unburdened
by trails of glowing dust
looking up
through veils
those
diaphanous shrouds
eyes lingering to focus
on beyond
looking over
glasses
across teacups
and cream
into you
May 11, 2025 at 4:53 PM
looking down
gathering marbles
unburdened
by trails of glowing dust
looking up
through veils
those
diaphanous shrouds
eyes lingering to focus
on beyond
looking over
glasses
across teacups
and cream
into you
gathering marbles
unburdened
by trails of glowing dust
looking up
through veils
those
diaphanous shrouds
eyes lingering to focus
on beyond
looking over
glasses
across teacups
and cream
into you
tired
of complicated
feelings
too exhausted
for nuance
uninterested in
subtlety
unable to perceive
complexity
empty.
shut down.
sleepless,
again
of complicated
feelings
too exhausted
for nuance
uninterested in
subtlety
unable to perceive
complexity
empty.
shut down.
sleepless,
again
May 10, 2025 at 6:33 PM
tired
of complicated
feelings
too exhausted
for nuance
uninterested in
subtlety
unable to perceive
complexity
empty.
shut down.
sleepless,
again
of complicated
feelings
too exhausted
for nuance
uninterested in
subtlety
unable to perceive
complexity
empty.
shut down.
sleepless,
again
she's getting older now
didn't keep up
with friendships
over the years
and years
thought about people
but didn't
reach out to them
now she's lonely
still thinking about folks
staring at her phone
daily
wondering
why none of these people
are calling her
randomly
out of the blue
after decades
didn't keep up
with friendships
over the years
and years
thought about people
but didn't
reach out to them
now she's lonely
still thinking about folks
staring at her phone
daily
wondering
why none of these people
are calling her
randomly
out of the blue
after decades
May 8, 2025 at 9:21 PM
she's getting older now
didn't keep up
with friendships
over the years
and years
thought about people
but didn't
reach out to them
now she's lonely
still thinking about folks
staring at her phone
daily
wondering
why none of these people
are calling her
randomly
out of the blue
after decades
didn't keep up
with friendships
over the years
and years
thought about people
but didn't
reach out to them
now she's lonely
still thinking about folks
staring at her phone
daily
wondering
why none of these people
are calling her
randomly
out of the blue
after decades
dancing towards
the light
without heat
eyes closed
supine,
savasana
sometimes
an initiation
sometimes
a ritual washing
but always
some presence
tonight,
a bird
painted on cave wall
twenty thousand years ago
has felt sensations
to share
stillness in motion
within
stillness in motion
the light
without heat
eyes closed
supine,
savasana
sometimes
an initiation
sometimes
a ritual washing
but always
some presence
tonight,
a bird
painted on cave wall
twenty thousand years ago
has felt sensations
to share
stillness in motion
within
stillness in motion
May 6, 2025 at 4:22 PM
dancing towards
the light
without heat
eyes closed
supine,
savasana
sometimes
an initiation
sometimes
a ritual washing
but always
some presence
tonight,
a bird
painted on cave wall
twenty thousand years ago
has felt sensations
to share
stillness in motion
within
stillness in motion
the light
without heat
eyes closed
supine,
savasana
sometimes
an initiation
sometimes
a ritual washing
but always
some presence
tonight,
a bird
painted on cave wall
twenty thousand years ago
has felt sensations
to share
stillness in motion
within
stillness in motion
sometimes he feels
like he exists in Kafka's mind
injury to the nervous system
incomplete childhood response
to overwhelm
trapped in chest and hips
unresolved and frozen
for decades
is not a mental health problem
but that's where he is always sent
to people who can not help
and do not understand
like he exists in Kafka's mind
injury to the nervous system
incomplete childhood response
to overwhelm
trapped in chest and hips
unresolved and frozen
for decades
is not a mental health problem
but that's where he is always sent
to people who can not help
and do not understand
May 3, 2025 at 4:19 PM
sometimes he feels
like he exists in Kafka's mind
injury to the nervous system
incomplete childhood response
to overwhelm
trapped in chest and hips
unresolved and frozen
for decades
is not a mental health problem
but that's where he is always sent
to people who can not help
and do not understand
like he exists in Kafka's mind
injury to the nervous system
incomplete childhood response
to overwhelm
trapped in chest and hips
unresolved and frozen
for decades
is not a mental health problem
but that's where he is always sent
to people who can not help
and do not understand
a shopping mall remembrance
from the
sound and light
of the arcade
to a circuit of the food court
ending in cheap noodles
on plastic chairs
through the bright halls
past meandering families
check out the music store
with cassettes or, later, CDs
and into the bookstore
my happiest of places
from the
sound and light
of the arcade
to a circuit of the food court
ending in cheap noodles
on plastic chairs
through the bright halls
past meandering families
check out the music store
with cassettes or, later, CDs
and into the bookstore
my happiest of places
May 2, 2025 at 4:20 PM
a shopping mall remembrance
from the
sound and light
of the arcade
to a circuit of the food court
ending in cheap noodles
on plastic chairs
through the bright halls
past meandering families
check out the music store
with cassettes or, later, CDs
and into the bookstore
my happiest of places
from the
sound and light
of the arcade
to a circuit of the food court
ending in cheap noodles
on plastic chairs
through the bright halls
past meandering families
check out the music store
with cassettes or, later, CDs
and into the bookstore
my happiest of places
my darling,
do you remember when
we made you a crown
of hawthorne
and walked the forest
at twilight,
stopping for venison stew
crunchy bread
and a bit of cider
your
candy necklace
glowing pastel
by the fire
mine, slowly disappearing
as your dessert
thinning the veil
towards fireflies
and moss
do you remember when
we made you a crown
of hawthorne
and walked the forest
at twilight,
stopping for venison stew
crunchy bread
and a bit of cider
your
candy necklace
glowing pastel
by the fire
mine, slowly disappearing
as your dessert
thinning the veil
towards fireflies
and moss
May 1, 2025 at 8:47 PM
my darling,
do you remember when
we made you a crown
of hawthorne
and walked the forest
at twilight,
stopping for venison stew
crunchy bread
and a bit of cider
your
candy necklace
glowing pastel
by the fire
mine, slowly disappearing
as your dessert
thinning the veil
towards fireflies
and moss
do you remember when
we made you a crown
of hawthorne
and walked the forest
at twilight,
stopping for venison stew
crunchy bread
and a bit of cider
your
candy necklace
glowing pastel
by the fire
mine, slowly disappearing
as your dessert
thinning the veil
towards fireflies
and moss
deserts tinged
with scattered ancient
settlements
once walked by
mystics, inner eyes
backdropping all in
Tyrian purple
communing with
local spirits
for hunt and harvest
or just a daydream
standing in the local
grocery
glancing an eggplant
with scattered ancient
settlements
once walked by
mystics, inner eyes
backdropping all in
Tyrian purple
communing with
local spirits
for hunt and harvest
or just a daydream
standing in the local
grocery
glancing an eggplant
April 29, 2025 at 3:44 PM
deserts tinged
with scattered ancient
settlements
once walked by
mystics, inner eyes
backdropping all in
Tyrian purple
communing with
local spirits
for hunt and harvest
or just a daydream
standing in the local
grocery
glancing an eggplant
with scattered ancient
settlements
once walked by
mystics, inner eyes
backdropping all in
Tyrian purple
communing with
local spirits
for hunt and harvest
or just a daydream
standing in the local
grocery
glancing an eggplant
by age seven
her scarring was complete
heart shuttered
closed for business
although she had no
way of knowing
at age 39
her heart opened
in one overwhelming,
unexpected
moment
too late for much
but not too late
to love her child
not even the universe
could take that away
her scarring was complete
heart shuttered
closed for business
although she had no
way of knowing
at age 39
her heart opened
in one overwhelming,
unexpected
moment
too late for much
but not too late
to love her child
not even the universe
could take that away
April 28, 2025 at 3:28 PM
by age seven
her scarring was complete
heart shuttered
closed for business
although she had no
way of knowing
at age 39
her heart opened
in one overwhelming,
unexpected
moment
too late for much
but not too late
to love her child
not even the universe
could take that away
her scarring was complete
heart shuttered
closed for business
although she had no
way of knowing
at age 39
her heart opened
in one overwhelming,
unexpected
moment
too late for much
but not too late
to love her child
not even the universe
could take that away
you and i
on the dunes
by the rhythmic waves
during the summer season of
shooting stars
in the deep of night
the ocean calls and calls again
as lips touch and
reeds gently sway
in the breeze
on the dunes
by the rhythmic waves
during the summer season of
shooting stars
in the deep of night
the ocean calls and calls again
as lips touch and
reeds gently sway
in the breeze
April 26, 2025 at 4:36 PM
you and i
on the dunes
by the rhythmic waves
during the summer season of
shooting stars
in the deep of night
the ocean calls and calls again
as lips touch and
reeds gently sway
in the breeze
on the dunes
by the rhythmic waves
during the summer season of
shooting stars
in the deep of night
the ocean calls and calls again
as lips touch and
reeds gently sway
in the breeze
whispers of dignity
in buried acorns
appreciating potential
future scent of autumn
prelude to centuries of
stolid, gentle resonance
in buried acorns
appreciating potential
future scent of autumn
prelude to centuries of
stolid, gentle resonance
April 25, 2025 at 9:14 PM
whispers of dignity
in buried acorns
appreciating potential
future scent of autumn
prelude to centuries of
stolid, gentle resonance
in buried acorns
appreciating potential
future scent of autumn
prelude to centuries of
stolid, gentle resonance
coterie of bluebirds
and ancient turtles
suggesting abstractions
she doesn't accept
even in this dream
so
turning away
flowing, stretching
into that ocean
both salt water and
formless realm
looking for a place
where no one offers anything
for there is no one else
and no anger
at least for a time
and ancient turtles
suggesting abstractions
she doesn't accept
even in this dream
so
turning away
flowing, stretching
into that ocean
both salt water and
formless realm
looking for a place
where no one offers anything
for there is no one else
and no anger
at least for a time
April 25, 2025 at 12:12 AM
coterie of bluebirds
and ancient turtles
suggesting abstractions
she doesn't accept
even in this dream
so
turning away
flowing, stretching
into that ocean
both salt water and
formless realm
looking for a place
where no one offers anything
for there is no one else
and no anger
at least for a time
and ancient turtles
suggesting abstractions
she doesn't accept
even in this dream
so
turning away
flowing, stretching
into that ocean
both salt water and
formless realm
looking for a place
where no one offers anything
for there is no one else
and no anger
at least for a time
the path of
purification
Is seeded with
diamonds
you’ve hidden from
yourself
purification
Is seeded with
diamonds
you’ve hidden from
yourself
April 24, 2025 at 12:18 AM
the path of
purification
Is seeded with
diamonds
you’ve hidden from
yourself
purification
Is seeded with
diamonds
you’ve hidden from
yourself
i know you get so scared
and it has been a hard road
but things will get better
even if you don't trust
that statement
it may help
to allow yourself to hear it
and it has been a hard road
but things will get better
even if you don't trust
that statement
it may help
to allow yourself to hear it
April 22, 2025 at 5:42 PM
i know you get so scared
and it has been a hard road
but things will get better
even if you don't trust
that statement
it may help
to allow yourself to hear it
and it has been a hard road
but things will get better
even if you don't trust
that statement
it may help
to allow yourself to hear it
close your eyes
and i will place this
candy necklace
around your
lovely, delicate neck
close your eyes
and i will provide
daffodils in riotous
blossom
around you
close your eyes
and i will ensure that
fuzzy warmth you
favor wraps
around so very gently
close your eyes
and i will lie beside you
and i will place this
candy necklace
around your
lovely, delicate neck
close your eyes
and i will provide
daffodils in riotous
blossom
around you
close your eyes
and i will ensure that
fuzzy warmth you
favor wraps
around so very gently
close your eyes
and i will lie beside you
April 21, 2025 at 5:13 PM
close your eyes
and i will place this
candy necklace
around your
lovely, delicate neck
close your eyes
and i will provide
daffodils in riotous
blossom
around you
close your eyes
and i will ensure that
fuzzy warmth you
favor wraps
around so very gently
close your eyes
and i will lie beside you
and i will place this
candy necklace
around your
lovely, delicate neck
close your eyes
and i will provide
daffodils in riotous
blossom
around you
close your eyes
and i will ensure that
fuzzy warmth you
favor wraps
around so very gently
close your eyes
and i will lie beside you
candle flame
dancing
behind stained glass
ignites the stardust
in her veins
whisper caution
not too close
beyond the reach of
ancient power structures
delicate beauty starkly
intermingled
with such a cold hardness
all the more entrancing
to one such as her
as close as she dares
approach
dancing
behind stained glass
ignites the stardust
in her veins
whisper caution
not too close
beyond the reach of
ancient power structures
delicate beauty starkly
intermingled
with such a cold hardness
all the more entrancing
to one such as her
as close as she dares
approach
April 20, 2025 at 10:10 PM
candle flame
dancing
behind stained glass
ignites the stardust
in her veins
whisper caution
not too close
beyond the reach of
ancient power structures
delicate beauty starkly
intermingled
with such a cold hardness
all the more entrancing
to one such as her
as close as she dares
approach
dancing
behind stained glass
ignites the stardust
in her veins
whisper caution
not too close
beyond the reach of
ancient power structures
delicate beauty starkly
intermingled
with such a cold hardness
all the more entrancing
to one such as her
as close as she dares
approach
connected
by intangible
mycelial networks
an
illuminated bare bulb
hanging on a fraying cord
flickers
in response to
changes in filaments originating
across the planet.
there is a boulder
in a corner of your
consciousness;
a plug.
move it,
or have it moved
and be stirred
my dear
by intangible
mycelial networks
an
illuminated bare bulb
hanging on a fraying cord
flickers
in response to
changes in filaments originating
across the planet.
there is a boulder
in a corner of your
consciousness;
a plug.
move it,
or have it moved
and be stirred
my dear
April 20, 2025 at 3:16 PM
connected
by intangible
mycelial networks
an
illuminated bare bulb
hanging on a fraying cord
flickers
in response to
changes in filaments originating
across the planet.
there is a boulder
in a corner of your
consciousness;
a plug.
move it,
or have it moved
and be stirred
my dear
by intangible
mycelial networks
an
illuminated bare bulb
hanging on a fraying cord
flickers
in response to
changes in filaments originating
across the planet.
there is a boulder
in a corner of your
consciousness;
a plug.
move it,
or have it moved
and be stirred
my dear
his heart hidden
frozen
perhaps accessible
within nagamani
under starlight
walk soft
breathe soft
don't forget to
tip the driver of
your chariot
frozen
perhaps accessible
within nagamani
under starlight
walk soft
breathe soft
don't forget to
tip the driver of
your chariot
April 19, 2025 at 6:28 PM
his heart hidden
frozen
perhaps accessible
within nagamani
under starlight
walk soft
breathe soft
don't forget to
tip the driver of
your chariot
frozen
perhaps accessible
within nagamani
under starlight
walk soft
breathe soft
don't forget to
tip the driver of
your chariot
she taught by pointing &
she pointed towards
a change of focus
unmasking
the trick of light
embracing
the impossibility of underthinking
Emptiness
defying
the implausibility of
Indra’s lightning
pulled
spontaneously from ambient
static electricity
she pointed towards
a change of focus
unmasking
the trick of light
embracing
the impossibility of underthinking
Emptiness
defying
the implausibility of
Indra’s lightning
pulled
spontaneously from ambient
static electricity
April 15, 2025 at 3:09 PM
she taught by pointing &
she pointed towards
a change of focus
unmasking
the trick of light
embracing
the impossibility of underthinking
Emptiness
defying
the implausibility of
Indra’s lightning
pulled
spontaneously from ambient
static electricity
she pointed towards
a change of focus
unmasking
the trick of light
embracing
the impossibility of underthinking
Emptiness
defying
the implausibility of
Indra’s lightning
pulled
spontaneously from ambient
static electricity