Mari Bee
@itsonlymari.bsky.social
I ended up taking a shower this morning even though I VERY MUCH didn't want to. Would you believe I'm still alive? 2 stars, would not recommend.
November 30, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I ended up taking a shower this morning even though I VERY MUCH didn't want to. Would you believe I'm still alive? 2 stars, would not recommend.
I made a post about the weather but you must have mist it.
November 25, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I made a post about the weather but you must have mist it.
The existence of dildos implies the existence of dilbucks.
November 21, 2025 at 12:35 PM
The existence of dildos implies the existence of dilbucks.
Problem solved: I determined my bowels are haunted.
November 17, 2025 at 6:37 AM
Problem solved: I determined my bowels are haunted.
We only serve turkey on Thanksgiving as a palate cleanser for all the different kinds of potatoes.
November 6, 2025 at 2:16 PM
We only serve turkey on Thanksgiving as a palate cleanser for all the different kinds of potatoes.
I pooped like a normal human!
October 27, 2025 at 11:48 AM
I pooped like a normal human!
Oh no! *I'm* why I can't have nice things!
October 21, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Oh no! *I'm* why I can't have nice things!
I am in a meat vessel built by betrayal.
September 13, 2025 at 3:12 PM
I am in a meat vessel built by betrayal.
Just me, cleaning cheese sauce off my keyboard.
Nothing to see here.
Nothing to see here.
September 10, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Just me, cleaning cheese sauce off my keyboard.
Nothing to see here.
Nothing to see here.
"Have you seen the Ninja?" doesn't deserve an answer.
It's obviously no.
If you have, don't do the Ninja dirty.
It's obviously no.
If you have, don't do the Ninja dirty.
September 7, 2025 at 10:13 PM
"Have you seen the Ninja?" doesn't deserve an answer.
It's obviously no.
If you have, don't do the Ninja dirty.
It's obviously no.
If you have, don't do the Ninja dirty.
I misheard "funicular disaster" as "follicular disaster" and it's changed my whole morning.
September 4, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I misheard "funicular disaster" as "follicular disaster" and it's changed my whole morning.
Brother of Silly Goose.
September 2, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Brother of Silly Goose.
I need to get back to Chicago just to get a bucket of wings from the Jewel.
August 5, 2025 at 12:47 AM
I need to get back to Chicago just to get a bucket of wings from the Jewel.
Oooweee burnt Canada do stink tho.
August 3, 2025 at 4:07 AM
Oooweee burnt Canada do stink tho.
Here's a word I already knew before it becomes prolific next year: sesquicentennial
July 30, 2025 at 7:23 AM
Here's a word I already knew before it becomes prolific next year: sesquicentennial
"It felt like the beginning of a UTI, but I just needed to air out my downstairs." A Tale of Crotchial Woe by Mari B.
July 8, 2025 at 4:20 PM
"It felt like the beginning of a UTI, but I just needed to air out my downstairs." A Tale of Crotchial Woe by Mari B.
Tubi is just a digital Blockbuster.
July 6, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Tubi is just a digital Blockbuster.
It's pizza night. I hope the cheese holds up against our tears and feelings as we binge #TheBearFX
June 28, 2025 at 12:19 AM
It's pizza night. I hope the cheese holds up against our tears and feelings as we binge #TheBearFX
Y'know, life's not all blowing farts and breaking hearts. Sometimes it's sore buttholes and... ... ... something that rhymes with buttholes.
Him: Uh...huh.
Him: Uh...huh.
June 13, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Y'know, life's not all blowing farts and breaking hearts. Sometimes it's sore buttholes and... ... ... something that rhymes with buttholes.
Him: Uh...huh.
Him: Uh...huh.
I bought some essential oil that smells like my favorite hotel. So I'm just over here, sad and in pain, but it *smells* like I'm on vacation.
May 29, 2025 at 3:36 AM
I bought some essential oil that smells like my favorite hotel. So I'm just over here, sad and in pain, but it *smells* like I'm on vacation.
Now telling doctors that if the next appointment can just be a phone call, then call me. I'm not hurting myself to come in anymore.
It's the Healthcare equivalent of "this meeting could have been an email."
It's the Healthcare equivalent of "this meeting could have been an email."
May 27, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Now telling doctors that if the next appointment can just be a phone call, then call me. I'm not hurting myself to come in anymore.
It's the Healthcare equivalent of "this meeting could have been an email."
It's the Healthcare equivalent of "this meeting could have been an email."
What I mean when I say I'm smokin' hot.
May 8, 2025 at 9:25 PM
What I mean when I say I'm smokin' hot.
Medicinal donuts work faster than pain meds. I wonder if post-op nurses know...
May 8, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Medicinal donuts work faster than pain meds. I wonder if post-op nurses know...
I'm watching the Pope finals on @news.sky.com
May 7, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I'm watching the Pope finals on @news.sky.com