Colleen
@itskohleen.bsky.social
I've been looking forward to going to bed since I woke up this morning
Reposted by Colleen
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
Fellowship
theonion.com
December 3, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Hey all,
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships.
Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits.
You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.
As a child of the 80's, Stranger Things does the 80's very, very well. Also, S5 E2, original Poltergeist vibes?
November 28, 2025 at 4:15 AM
As a child of the 80's, Stranger Things does the 80's very, very well. Also, S5 E2, original Poltergeist vibes?
I think the musical acts in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade are either people you've never heard of, or singers you thought died a long time ago. There's no in between.
November 27, 2025 at 6:17 PM
I think the musical acts in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade are either people you've never heard of, or singers you thought died a long time ago. There's no in between.
The only positive thing about being sick this weekend is that I got to watched all 12 hours of Ken Burns’ The American Revolution.
November 24, 2025 at 6:50 AM
The only positive thing about being sick this weekend is that I got to watched all 12 hours of Ken Burns’ The American Revolution.
I didn’t know Elon had a soul, but apparently Joyce Carol Oates now possess what little of it remained.
November 11, 2025 at 7:03 AM
I didn’t know Elon had a soul, but apparently Joyce Carol Oates now possess what little of it remained.
Owning a cat is like living with a toddler that never grows up.
September 21, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Owning a cat is like living with a toddler that never grows up.
Tying a charitable donation to the length of an Emmy speech is both diabolical and genius. I'm rooting for The Boys & Girls Club of America. #EmmyAwards
September 15, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Tying a charitable donation to the length of an Emmy speech is both diabolical and genius. I'm rooting for The Boys & Girls Club of America. #EmmyAwards
Can I just say, the Bob Ross cake was lovely. #TheGreatBritishBakingShow
September 6, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Can I just say, the Bob Ross cake was lovely. #TheGreatBritishBakingShow
While rewatching one of my favorite movies this weekend, So I Married an Axe Murderer, I remembered this wild article in Spin Magazine from 2018. If you're a fan of the movie, the article is worth the time.
www.spin.com/2018/09/so-i...
www.spin.com/2018/09/so-i...
How So I Married an Axe Murderer Wrecked One Writer’s Vision, Lost Several Stars, Bombed at the Box Office, and Became a Classic Anyway
Anyone who’s seen and loved the 1993 cult classic So I Married an Axe Murderer knows that its title doesn’t describe the plot literally. (If you haven’t s
www.spin.com
August 31, 2025 at 9:10 PM
While rewatching one of my favorite movies this weekend, So I Married an Axe Murderer, I remembered this wild article in Spin Magazine from 2018. If you're a fan of the movie, the article is worth the time.
www.spin.com/2018/09/so-i...
www.spin.com/2018/09/so-i...
Pringles are dusted with just the right amount of salt and crack.
August 18, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Pringles are dusted with just the right amount of salt and crack.
So it turns out that, once you’ve memorized the lyrics to Lost in Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson, you never forget them. To everyone eating yakitori near me, I’m sorry.
August 11, 2025 at 2:11 AM
So it turns out that, once you’ve memorized the lyrics to Lost in Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson, you never forget them. To everyone eating yakitori near me, I’m sorry.
Wait. I'm supposed to believe Carrie and Aidan have a relationship ending fight and she doesn't bring up the fact that he slept with his ex wife?! Yeah no. #JustLikeThat
July 25, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Wait. I'm supposed to believe Carrie and Aidan have a relationship ending fight and she doesn't bring up the fact that he slept with his ex wife?! Yeah no. #JustLikeThat
As a San Francisco Giants fan, this is literally the first time in my life I’ve liked something Dodger related.
NEW: The Los Angeles Dodgers say they have denied entry to ICE agents who arrived at the stadium and "requested permission to access the parking lots."
June 19, 2025 at 10:27 PM
As a San Francisco Giants fan, this is literally the first time in my life I’ve liked something Dodger related.
When life gives you a flat tire, park in front of a nail salon and get your nails done while they fix it.
June 8, 2025 at 8:39 PM
When life gives you a flat tire, park in front of a nail salon and get your nails done while they fix it.
I don't need aromatherapy or hot stones added on to my massage. I'll give you $25 if you just let me nap on the table after my massage.
May 27, 2025 at 2:19 AM
I don't need aromatherapy or hot stones added on to my massage. I'll give you $25 if you just let me nap on the table after my massage.
Helen Mirren in MobLand > 1923
April 24, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Helen Mirren in MobLand > 1923
In Piper’s defense, I’d break after one night without AC in Thailand too, #WhiteLotus
April 7, 2025 at 6:34 AM
In Piper’s defense, I’d break after one night without AC in Thailand too, #WhiteLotus
There were some great signs at the Hands Off protest today in Walnut Creek, but I do love a good costume.
April 6, 2025 at 1:24 AM
There were some great signs at the Hands Off protest today in Walnut Creek, but I do love a good costume.
This is such a dagger to the heart
a man with a mustache is sweating and says i 'm in my prime
ALT: a man with a mustache is sweating and says i 'm in my prime
media.tenor.com
April 2, 2025 at 4:09 AM
This is such a dagger to the heart
Gary/Greg gives everyone a bad vibe, yet they all go to his house anyway. Why? They don’t have to go, but they all go. #WhiteLotus
March 31, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Gary/Greg gives everyone a bad vibe, yet they all go to his house anyway. Why? They don’t have to go, but they all go. #WhiteLotus
Listening to Tom Hiddleston read Winnie the Pooh, while giving each character a distinct voice, is my new favorite thing on the @calm.com app.
March 30, 2025 at 4:38 AM
Listening to Tom Hiddleston read Winnie the Pooh, while giving each character a distinct voice, is my new favorite thing on the @calm.com app.
I did not know where Sam Rockwell’s monologue was going, but I didn’t think it would go there! #WhiteLotus
March 17, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I did not know where Sam Rockwell’s monologue was going, but I didn’t think it would go there! #WhiteLotus
I watched the season finale of #Paradise last night and I had at least a half dozen theories about what the significance of the Wii was. I guess sometimes a Wii is just a Wii.
March 13, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I watched the season finale of #Paradise last night and I had at least a half dozen theories about what the significance of the Wii was. I guess sometimes a Wii is just a Wii.