I keep forgetting to post on here
October 3, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I keep forgetting to post on here
13 yr old daughter came up and said "why is Limp Bizkit kinda fire" to me yesterday. She is developing Bryan Quinby-music taste and it is upsetting to me
August 11, 2025 at 8:22 PM
13 yr old daughter came up and said "why is Limp Bizkit kinda fire" to me yesterday. She is developing Bryan Quinby-music taste and it is upsetting to me
fantasy foot ball is back!
August 11, 2025 at 7:04 PM
fantasy foot ball is back!
Nebraska friends — my band Notion Club is playing a show at Slowdown on Sept. 13. The Huskers play at 11 am so you have no excuse to not stop by
August 10, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Nebraska friends — my band Notion Club is playing a show at Slowdown on Sept. 13. The Huskers play at 11 am so you have no excuse to not stop by
ME: isn’t this great??
WIFE: not really
ME: (looks down from the top bunk) what’s wrong
WIFE: not really
ME: (looks down from the top bunk) what’s wrong
August 1, 2025 at 6:01 PM
ME: isn’t this great??
WIFE: not really
ME: (looks down from the top bunk) what’s wrong
WIFE: not really
ME: (looks down from the top bunk) what’s wrong
I’m thinking about a Wedge salad
July 30, 2025 at 3:57 PM
I’m thinking about a Wedge salad
It should be legal to slash someone’s tires if you have a good reason. Or if the car is ughly
July 29, 2025 at 11:35 PM
It should be legal to slash someone’s tires if you have a good reason. Or if the car is ughly
thinking about doing something evil because I’m pretty sure i could write a really good notes app apology. People would forgive me instantly
July 28, 2025 at 10:52 PM
thinking about doing something evil because I’m pretty sure i could write a really good notes app apology. People would forgive me instantly
If you’re going through The self checkout line, you gotta lock in. Too many people on their phones or just lollygaggin in general. This isn’t a game
July 25, 2025 at 11:10 PM
If you’re going through The self checkout line, you gotta lock in. Too many people on their phones or just lollygaggin in general. This isn’t a game
[WWE auditions]
SCOUT: next
HULK HOGAN: *in disguise* im hank holgun
SCOUT: i know it's you hulk
HULK HOGAN: no its not (slowly rips pants off) cousinnn
SCOUT: next
HULK HOGAN: *in disguise* im hank holgun
SCOUT: i know it's you hulk
HULK HOGAN: no its not (slowly rips pants off) cousinnn
July 24, 2025 at 4:42 PM
[WWE auditions]
SCOUT: next
HULK HOGAN: *in disguise* im hank holgun
SCOUT: i know it's you hulk
HULK HOGAN: no its not (slowly rips pants off) cousinnn
SCOUT: next
HULK HOGAN: *in disguise* im hank holgun
SCOUT: i know it's you hulk
HULK HOGAN: no its not (slowly rips pants off) cousinnn
When you’re young, you do lots of fun things like road tripping and staying up all night. When you get older, you become obsessed with wedge salads
July 18, 2025 at 8:00 PM
When you’re young, you do lots of fun things like road tripping and staying up all night. When you get older, you become obsessed with wedge salads
“Don’t ever underestimate Jerry”— quote from my dad about Parks and rec
July 4, 2025 at 1:54 PM
“Don’t ever underestimate Jerry”— quote from my dad about Parks and rec
I am Inventing a Breakfast hibachi restaurant called japancakes
July 2, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I am Inventing a Breakfast hibachi restaurant called japancakes
Skyrizi song > jardiance song. And it’s not even close
June 25, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Skyrizi song > jardiance song. And it’s not even close
Folks, We are back
June 20, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Folks, We are back
ANIMAL CONTROL: the hell were you thinking??
ME: what? Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic
ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches
ME: what? Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic
ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches
June 20, 2025 at 3:56 AM
ANIMAL CONTROL: the hell were you thinking??
ME: what? Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic
ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches
ME: what? Releasing birds at a wedding is romantic
ANIMAL CONTROL: you released ostriches
I have Jamie from progressive chained up in my basement and I go down and kick him when I’m anxious or just when I feel like it
June 17, 2025 at 9:28 PM
I have Jamie from progressive chained up in my basement and I go down and kick him when I’m anxious or just when I feel like it
if hand tossed pizza is so good then why was my hand tossed chili a total disaster
June 17, 2025 at 8:46 PM
if hand tossed pizza is so good then why was my hand tossed chili a total disaster
Final boss of Airbnb bathrooms
June 1, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Final boss of Airbnb bathrooms
I have tons of great ideas. For example: blue shrek
May 28, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I have tons of great ideas. For example: blue shrek