heidi
@heidikitchen.bsky.social
comedian. lawyer. mother. star to be.
live action now you see me now you dont
November 14, 2025 at 10:52 PM
live action now you see me now you dont
hot magician near me
November 14, 2025 at 10:51 PM
hot magician near me
now you see me now you dont popcorn bucket magic
November 14, 2025 at 10:48 PM
now you see me now you dont popcorn bucket magic
okay i'll bite: what's a neil diamond and why's there a musical about it
November 4, 2025 at 10:16 PM
okay i'll bite: what's a neil diamond and why's there a musical about it
this breakfast is about to be straight ASS
October 30, 2025 at 3:49 PM
this breakfast is about to be straight ASS
this dunkin' donuts is playing the loudest music i've ever heard like the speaker is directly above the register
October 30, 2025 at 3:46 PM
this dunkin' donuts is playing the loudest music i've ever heard like the speaker is directly above the register
man just cut in front of me to get the last seat on the train... all to sit down and look at the stock market...
October 30, 2025 at 2:04 PM
man just cut in front of me to get the last seat on the train... all to sit down and look at the stock market...
i'll be brave and admit it: i still don't understand long arm statutes
October 24, 2025 at 4:55 PM
i'll be brave and admit it: i still don't understand long arm statutes
sometimes when a man tells me something or gives me advice i'm just like "literally actually what could you possibly know"
October 15, 2025 at 10:03 PM
sometimes when a man tells me something or gives me advice i'm just like "literally actually what could you possibly know"
there was a guy on the train wearing a shirt that said "proud vet" and i immediately just assumed he meant veterinarian
October 14, 2025 at 11:13 PM
there was a guy on the train wearing a shirt that said "proud vet" and i immediately just assumed he meant veterinarian
hormones so bad right now I almost cried last night when I had to stop embroidering and go to bed
October 10, 2025 at 7:24 PM
hormones so bad right now I almost cried last night when I had to stop embroidering and go to bed
love when every insane symptom you have could just be related to your period. like looking up "is shooting stabbing pain down your leg related to your period" and google's just like "yep! anything's possible!" like right right sure cool
October 10, 2025 at 7:08 PM
love when every insane symptom you have could just be related to your period. like looking up "is shooting stabbing pain down your leg related to your period" and google's just like "yep! anything's possible!" like right right sure cool
peter watching a tik tok of a chinese woman building a bridge for ten minutes
me: "are you sure it's not AI"
peter: "no this is what happens in china"
me: "are you sure it's not AI"
peter: "no this is what happens in china"
October 10, 2025 at 2:59 PM
peter watching a tik tok of a chinese woman building a bridge for ten minutes
me: "are you sure it's not AI"
peter: "no this is what happens in china"
me: "are you sure it's not AI"
peter: "no this is what happens in china"
okay so like who's buying those hey dude shoes
October 9, 2025 at 3:45 PM
okay so like who's buying those hey dude shoes
i kinda want another crusty white dog...don't tell peter
October 8, 2025 at 10:57 PM
i kinda want another crusty white dog...don't tell peter
hey queen he saw you watching the cubs game on the train you don't have to watch anymore 🥰🥰
October 8, 2025 at 10:56 PM
hey queen he saw you watching the cubs game on the train you don't have to watch anymore 🥰🥰
"and we looked fire" is a whole body cringe everytime I hear it like that song should come with a censored version where I don't hear the slang
October 6, 2025 at 8:40 PM
"and we looked fire" is a whole body cringe everytime I hear it like that song should come with a censored version where I don't hear the slang
on a scale from one to opening up a private session to listen to 21 pilots how depressed are you
October 3, 2025 at 9:47 PM
on a scale from one to opening up a private session to listen to 21 pilots how depressed are you
like good luck if I ever have a child bc there's no way you can compete with that
October 1, 2025 at 3:04 PM
like good luck if I ever have a child bc there's no way you can compete with that
the joy that spread through me at the memory of opening that email to find out I passed the bar one year ago today is just 🫶🏻☺️👌🏻
October 1, 2025 at 3:04 PM
the joy that spread through me at the memory of opening that email to find out I passed the bar one year ago today is just 🫶🏻☺️👌🏻
could really use a sketchers porn ad to cheer me up rn :/
September 30, 2025 at 10:30 PM
could really use a sketchers porn ad to cheer me up rn :/
they all look like they just sharted for the fourth time that day
September 30, 2025 at 4:29 PM
they all look like they just sharted for the fourth time that day
paintball guns??? can you be any LAMER??? like ??? why are you in full tactical gear holding a paintball gun??
September 30, 2025 at 4:24 PM
paintball guns??? can you be any LAMER??? like ??? why are you in full tactical gear holding a paintball gun??
there should be a "no tesla" option on uber
September 28, 2025 at 1:21 AM
there should be a "no tesla" option on uber