Imagine if Bob ross and Gordon Ramsay had swapped professions...

"the chicken is raw, but that's okay. we can cook it a little more, it'll be our secret little accident"

"does this tree look fucking happy to you!? DOES IT !?"

It is actually impossible to cook bacon without "sampling" at least 3 pieces.
Don't argue with me, it's science.

My Amazon purchases this weekend:

Low Dose Aspirin
Extra Strength Gaviscon
Parchment Paper
Economy size dish soap.

I have officially become my parents.

The first post on a new social media platform is so crucial. Its important to make a good first impression. This is a lot of pressure....ok, I got this....

So...
Do you like.. stuff?