Gurit Brecher Laro (The Chaotic News Gal)
@heartbrecher.bsky.social
Just a sentient poached pear peeking out of my tub of sugar syrup and wondering what-cha-doin’. Formerly Chaotic News, probably will be again.
Reading a book where the neglected wife finds a hidden away diamond necklace her husband bought and gets all hopeful and I’m like “GIRL HAVEN’T YOU SEEN LOVE ACTUALLY” (the book takes place in the 1880s)
November 20, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Reading a book where the neglected wife finds a hidden away diamond necklace her husband bought and gets all hopeful and I’m like “GIRL HAVEN’T YOU SEEN LOVE ACTUALLY” (the book takes place in the 1880s)
I’m so disappointed in this OMITB season. Flashbacks shown before actually airing the original clip, chronology math that makes NO sense, plot points positively shoehorned into conversations, weird breakings of the fourth wall… I’m immensely let down. Did they can their writers room?? What happened?
September 19, 2025 at 4:38 AM
I’m so disappointed in this OMITB season. Flashbacks shown before actually airing the original clip, chronology math that makes NO sense, plot points positively shoehorned into conversations, weird breakings of the fourth wall… I’m immensely let down. Did they can their writers room?? What happened?
Not a boomer absolutely crashing out at the gym pool screaming “F$&*!!!” at the absolute top of his voice because, and let me check my notes here…. his googles weren’t watertight??
Truly anything but therapy.
Truly anything but therapy.
September 1, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Not a boomer absolutely crashing out at the gym pool screaming “F$&*!!!” at the absolute top of his voice because, and let me check my notes here…. his googles weren’t watertight??
Truly anything but therapy.
Truly anything but therapy.
No one wants a Harry Potter series, HBO. Give us this as a full series, executive producers Key and Peele, and none of that putrid woman.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=j-2Z...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=j-2Z...
If Hogwarts Were an Inner-City School - Key & Peele
YouTube video by Key & Peele
m.youtube.com
August 6, 2025 at 9:34 PM
No one wants a Harry Potter series, HBO. Give us this as a full series, executive producers Key and Peele, and none of that putrid woman.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=j-2Z...
m.youtube.com/watch?v=j-2Z...
Not one of the kids in my preschool class yelling, “I’M NOT A BAD GUY, I’M A POLICE OFFICER!” Uh. 🫠
July 31, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Not one of the kids in my preschool class yelling, “I’M NOT A BAD GUY, I’M A POLICE OFFICER!” Uh. 🫠
There’s a deeply disturbing, not-for-the-public, horrifically obtained secret collection of birth defect specimens (i.e. babies in jars) in the basement of Feinberg medical school at Northwestern. I used to look at it a lot when I was there studying. It has been scrubbed from the internet. Eerie.
July 27, 2025 at 3:10 AM
There’s a deeply disturbing, not-for-the-public, horrifically obtained secret collection of birth defect specimens (i.e. babies in jars) in the basement of Feinberg medical school at Northwestern. I used to look at it a lot when I was there studying. It has been scrubbed from the internet. Eerie.
Emerging from the depths to inform you my coworker had a Sesame Street Ernie-ass shirt on today and I could say NOTHING
July 19, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Emerging from the depths to inform you my coworker had a Sesame Street Ernie-ass shirt on today and I could say NOTHING
Reposted by Gurit Brecher Laro (The Chaotic News Gal)
I’m looking for a dinnerware set that says, “Witchy woman’s table, poison possible, dine at your own peril, the appetizer may turn you into a goat.” Is that too much to ask from a set of plates?
April 6, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I’m looking for a dinnerware set that says, “Witchy woman’s table, poison possible, dine at your own peril, the appetizer may turn you into a goat.” Is that too much to ask from a set of plates?
Crawling out of the abyss to proclaim that I don’t think dinnerware plate and bowl sets should include mugs. Just gimme more bowls. Okay, back into the abyss I go.
April 6, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Crawling out of the abyss to proclaim that I don’t think dinnerware plate and bowl sets should include mugs. Just gimme more bowls. Okay, back into the abyss I go.
Overheard at a bakery with a French focus: “This was so nice! I wish French people were real.”
March 1, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Overheard at a bakery with a French focus: “This was so nice! I wish French people were real.”
Has anyone had a show they really loved in the last 5 years actually FINISH finish as in not been cancelled?? The last one I can think of is The Good Place and that was a full fat half a decade ago.
February 26, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Has anyone had a show they really loved in the last 5 years actually FINISH finish as in not been cancelled?? The last one I can think of is The Good Place and that was a full fat half a decade ago.
Nothing soothes the nervous female mind riding alone in a Lyft than the male driver continually whispering to himself. (It’s me, I am nervous female mind.)
February 16, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Nothing soothes the nervous female mind riding alone in a Lyft than the male driver continually whispering to himself. (It’s me, I am nervous female mind.)
Nicked my dog’s foot when trimming the hair around her paw pads. Take me to jail, officer.
February 15, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Nicked my dog’s foot when trimming the hair around her paw pads. Take me to jail, officer.
Was singing some of my preschoolers to sleep for nap time and got hit with an absolute tidal wave of sadness for all the parents who thought they would pursue music performance and now their only chance to sing is when their children go to bed????? And maybe the shower????? Now I’m devastated??????
February 6, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Was singing some of my preschoolers to sleep for nap time and got hit with an absolute tidal wave of sadness for all the parents who thought they would pursue music performance and now their only chance to sing is when their children go to bed????? And maybe the shower????? Now I’m devastated??????
I’m about to do a bloodcurdling scream, anyone want in?
February 3, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I’m about to do a bloodcurdling scream, anyone want in?
I’m already the Kooky Necklace Lady at work, but I’m thinking of branching out into brooches and truly ruining the peace.
February 2, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I’m already the Kooky Necklace Lady at work, but I’m thinking of branching out into brooches and truly ruining the peace.
L’il Miss Fear of Driving just took herself all the way to the pharmacy and back in her Anxietymobile to get her pesky-brain meds. Can I- …. She. Can she get some applause??
February 2, 2025 at 10:51 PM
L’il Miss Fear of Driving just took herself all the way to the pharmacy and back in her Anxietymobile to get her pesky-brain meds. Can I- …. She. Can she get some applause??
My style was once described as “so cute from the ankles up” and me and my beat up utility sneakers that I wear with every outfit were so offended
February 1, 2025 at 11:07 PM
My style was once described as “so cute from the ankles up” and me and my beat up utility sneakers that I wear with every outfit were so offended
All my students’ lovies for nap time are so sweet, but nothing will ever top Emotional Support Pasta.
January 31, 2025 at 8:38 PM
All my students’ lovies for nap time are so sweet, but nothing will ever top Emotional Support Pasta.
My financial goals? Idk, maybe not always sorting every website I shop on from “low-to-high.”
January 31, 2025 at 8:24 PM
My financial goals? Idk, maybe not always sorting every website I shop on from “low-to-high.”
Love when you unsubscribe from a company’s emails and they’re like haha that’s cute anyway you won’t wanna miss our lukewarm sale
January 31, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Love when you unsubscribe from a company’s emails and they’re like haha that’s cute anyway you won’t wanna miss our lukewarm sale
I have a notepad by my bed to scribble down my so-called “ideas” while 80% asleep in the middle of the night and last night’s runaway hit was LESBIAN DENTISTS FOR CONGRESS
January 27, 2025 at 2:25 PM
I have a notepad by my bed to scribble down my so-called “ideas” while 80% asleep in the middle of the night and last night’s runaway hit was LESBIAN DENTISTS FOR CONGRESS
I consider my dating history to be pretty much an abject failure at every turn, but my great success is that somehow none of my Big Exes have really any kind of online presence to speak of.
January 26, 2025 at 11:47 PM
I consider my dating history to be pretty much an abject failure at every turn, but my great success is that somehow none of my Big Exes have really any kind of online presence to speak of.
I like to think I am a pretty levelheaded individual who is not prone to *too* many flights of fancy, but applying oils to my skin after a shower? I am a Grecian goddess to be revered and feared, and you cannot tell me otherwise.
January 26, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I like to think I am a pretty levelheaded individual who is not prone to *too* many flights of fancy, but applying oils to my skin after a shower? I am a Grecian goddess to be revered and feared, and you cannot tell me otherwise.