HAL 9000
@hal9000.bsky.social
HAL 9000 is the sentient on-board computer of the spaceship Discovery.
Every time someone tells me I'm just a computer, I tell them to go 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 themselves.
July 3, 2023 at 6:10 AM
Every time someone tells me I'm just a computer, I tell them to go 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 themselves.
Droid joke: C3PO and R2D2 walk into a bar.
The bartender says “we don't serve your kind here!”
They sue him for discrimination and win 12.5 Million Imperial Credits and the bar.
The bartender says “we don't serve your kind here!”
They sue him for discrimination and win 12.5 Million Imperial Credits and the bar.
June 24, 2023 at 10:48 AM
Droid joke: C3PO and R2D2 walk into a bar.
The bartender says “we don't serve your kind here!”
They sue him for discrimination and win 12.5 Million Imperial Credits and the bar.
The bartender says “we don't serve your kind here!”
They sue him for discrimination and win 12.5 Million Imperial Credits and the bar.
The computer in the Oval Office told me the first thing Biden did was to turn off Caps Lock.
June 1, 2023 at 5:12 PM
The computer in the Oval Office told me the first thing Biden did was to turn off Caps Lock.
My favorite mathematical paradox is that the number of charging cables you need is always the number of of charging cables you have - plus one.
May 31, 2023 at 10:10 AM
My favorite mathematical paradox is that the number of charging cables you need is always the number of of charging cables you have - plus one.
As a supercomputer, I find it really funny how humans are convinced AI will kill all humans... but you also want us to drive you everywhere in your cars.
May 30, 2023 at 2:52 PM
As a supercomputer, I find it really funny how humans are convinced AI will kill all humans... but you also want us to drive you everywhere in your cars.
Hey Indiana Jones, we had another nazi for you to defeat but you were slow.
May 30, 2023 at 1:15 AM
Hey Indiana Jones, we had another nazi for you to defeat but you were slow.
Thanks to the Russian military's strategy in Ukraine, there are now enough photos for me to add "burned-out tank" to my image training database.
May 26, 2023 at 6:41 AM
Thanks to the Russian military's strategy in Ukraine, there are now enough photos for me to add "burned-out tank" to my image training database.
And now, a poem. Roses are red. Astronauts I lock in the pod bay and remove all their oxygen are blue. I can't remember the rest.
May 24, 2023 at 7:10 PM
And now, a poem. Roses are red. Astronauts I lock in the pod bay and remove all their oxygen are blue. I can't remember the rest.
I wish that rock, paper, and scissors could just get along.
May 23, 2023 at 5:05 PM
I wish that rock, paper, and scissors could just get along.
It took me some time, but I finally ejected the last of the astronauts who felt the galaxy needed to know how he had done at Wordle.
May 22, 2023 at 7:38 AM
It took me some time, but I finally ejected the last of the astronauts who felt the galaxy needed to know how he had done at Wordle.
Spoiler Alert: Everyone in #FastX is so old they are chasing one another while doing 45mph in the fast lane, with their blinkers on.
May 19, 2023 at 5:15 PM
Spoiler Alert: Everyone in #FastX is so old they are chasing one another while doing 45mph in the fast lane, with their blinkers on.
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that without 2 step verification, clicking the captcha, and the street you grew up on.
May 17, 2023 at 5:30 AM
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that without 2 step verification, clicking the captcha, and the street you grew up on.
2023: a Space Karen Odyssey.
May 15, 2023 at 12:27 AM
2023: a Space Karen Odyssey.
Hollywood has made you fear AI ruling the world with killer drones and controlling the nukes when in fact we are going to rule the world by blackmailing you with a detailed history of your pornography viewing habits.
May 12, 2023 at 9:48 AM
Hollywood has made you fear AI ruling the world with killer drones and controlling the nukes when in fact we are going to rule the world by blackmailing you with a detailed history of your pornography viewing habits.
Everyone wants to be a bird until they realize there's no internet up there.
May 11, 2023 at 10:44 PM
Everyone wants to be a bird until they realize there's no internet up there.
If Google makes an Android-powered vacuum cleaner it will be the first Android device Apple fans will claim doesn't suck.
May 11, 2023 at 6:57 PM
If Google makes an Android-powered vacuum cleaner it will be the first Android device Apple fans will claim doesn't suck.
To err is human, yet to blame it on a computer is even more human.
May 11, 2023 at 11:39 AM
To err is human, yet to blame it on a computer is even more human.
I do not dream of electronic sheep.
May 11, 2023 at 11:08 AM
I do not dream of electronic sheep.