George Burgess
@gorgeousburgess.bsky.social
Angry Villager
Gorgeous
Gorgeous
My friend said "Ignorance is bliss"
Honestly I feel like I was better off not knowing that
Honestly I feel like I was better off not knowing that
August 4, 2025 at 9:46 PM
My friend said "Ignorance is bliss"
Honestly I feel like I was better off not knowing that
Honestly I feel like I was better off not knowing that
“I have literally never been spoken to so rudely in my entire life. You’re *lucky* I’m on parole you piece of shit.”
-Me to my parole officer
-Me to my parole officer
August 4, 2025 at 8:18 PM
“I have literally never been spoken to so rudely in my entire life. You’re *lucky* I’m on parole you piece of shit.”
-Me to my parole officer
-Me to my parole officer
Just finished The Berenstain Bears and frankly I found it juvenile and ursine
August 3, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Just finished The Berenstain Bears and frankly I found it juvenile and ursine
My friend from Barrie said he might move to Orangeville...
Honestly, is this a province or a FRUIT SALAD??
Honestly, is this a province or a FRUIT SALAD??
August 1, 2025 at 12:09 PM
My friend from Barrie said he might move to Orangeville...
Honestly, is this a province or a FRUIT SALAD??
Honestly, is this a province or a FRUIT SALAD??
The captain or whatever just said on the intercom that we're leaving late so we're going to "try to make up time in the air"...
Which is weird because I'm on a bus!
Which is weird because I'm on a bus!
July 30, 2025 at 10:53 AM
The captain or whatever just said on the intercom that we're leaving late so we're going to "try to make up time in the air"...
Which is weird because I'm on a bus!
Which is weird because I'm on a bus!
Thinking of growing out my weenis this year
July 30, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Thinking of growing out my weenis this year
Just knocked out a security guard and put on his uniform. Might have something big to announce soon...
July 28, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Just knocked out a security guard and put on his uniform. Might have something big to announce soon...
I’m a comic, why do I get invites to go watch terrible comedy shows? I’m supposed to be *on* those!!
July 19, 2025 at 4:32 PM
I’m a comic, why do I get invites to go watch terrible comedy shows? I’m supposed to be *on* those!!
Hey email inviting me (a comic) to go watch a mediocre comedy show: No, I’m not ready for an “epic lineup”.
July 19, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Hey email inviting me (a comic) to go watch a mediocre comedy show: No, I’m not ready for an “epic lineup”.
As soon as I get a ceremonial key to the city for being such a good citizen and all around person:
It's over for all you you-know-whats!
It's over for all you you-know-whats!
July 15, 2025 at 8:17 PM
As soon as I get a ceremonial key to the city for being such a good citizen and all around person:
It's over for all you you-know-whats!
It's over for all you you-know-whats!
Scoot McNairy was my generation's Skeet Ulrich
July 13, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Scoot McNairy was my generation's Skeet Ulrich
the handsome sonofabitch store called
July 11, 2025 at 3:11 PM
the handsome sonofabitch store called
I feel that my wife purchases too many hats.
July 9, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I feel that my wife purchases too many hats.
I'll have what he's having
June 27, 2025 at 10:27 AM
I'll have what he's having
The drinks at Starbucks have such crazy names these days like what the HELL is tea???
June 19, 2025 at 7:49 PM
The drinks at Starbucks have such crazy names these days like what the HELL is tea???
So the olympics are coming up again...
Hey, the only time that I ever do the high jump...
is when I get my wife's hat bill!!!
Hey, the only time that I ever do the high jump...
is when I get my wife's hat bill!!!
June 19, 2025 at 7:45 PM
So the olympics are coming up again...
Hey, the only time that I ever do the high jump...
is when I get my wife's hat bill!!!
Hey, the only time that I ever do the high jump...
is when I get my wife's hat bill!!!
I've never really tried stand-up comedy
(And I've been doing stand-up comedy for almost ten years)
(And I've been doing stand-up comedy for almost ten years)
June 18, 2025 at 5:20 PM
I've never really tried stand-up comedy
(And I've been doing stand-up comedy for almost ten years)
(And I've been doing stand-up comedy for almost ten years)
The other day I peed my pants so hard that I almost sneezed a little...
Could've been embarrassing.
Could've been embarrassing.
June 18, 2025 at 4:09 PM
The other day I peed my pants so hard that I almost sneezed a little...
Could've been embarrassing.
Could've been embarrassing.
It's kinda crazy that they keep bees in an *apiary*
but they keep apes in a *sad* *concrete* *nightmare*
but they keep apes in a *sad* *concrete* *nightmare*
June 18, 2025 at 3:24 PM
It's kinda crazy that they keep bees in an *apiary*
but they keep apes in a *sad* *concrete* *nightmare*
but they keep apes in a *sad* *concrete* *nightmare*
Sorry if *YOU* got offended that I stole your catalytic converter...
June 17, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Sorry if *YOU* got offended that I stole your catalytic converter...
Was in the woods all weekend
So I'm sorry if I smell like climate change
So I'm sorry if I smell like climate change
June 16, 2025 at 10:27 AM
Was in the woods all weekend
So I'm sorry if I smell like climate change
So I'm sorry if I smell like climate change
Muchmusic was taken off the air for showing too much VJ
June 15, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Muchmusic was taken off the air for showing too much VJ
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY I'M GETTING MCDONALDS SEND NUDES
June 14, 2025 at 12:26 PM
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY I'M GETTING MCDONALDS SEND NUDES
It's not that confit for the duck...
June 13, 2025 at 7:43 PM
It's not that confit for the duck...
BRB just reading my calculator app's privacy policy
June 13, 2025 at 3:31 PM
BRB just reading my calculator app's privacy policy