I’m going cutie pie mode you may not hear from me for several hours or days even

At least once a day I think of something in terms of its color and its shape, and at least once a week I cannot describe the color or shape of something. If anyone freaking cares.

Sometimes, I do wish I had a little tail I could emote with, similar to a dog. Alas, I am a duckling, and must use my feathers!

Got a call from my doctor today… turns out I’m too attached to earthly sensual pleasures 😖 gotta cut back a lot by Christmas he said, or I’ll be meeting the freaking krampus 🤦🏻‍♀️

Tweet! Tweet! Honk! Bock!!!

At what point did things stop being fire and start being cheugy :(

I missed all my baby loves <3

A man is only as big as his belt buckle

Eating hummus off of your fathers buff hairy chest, making steady eye contact with you through the crack in the door. Choking delicately on a loose hair in the hummus. Wondering who the fuck are you and why are you in my sugar bear’s house!!!!!!!!!

Looked up from my phone to see Mike Stoklasa on my tv screen and said “hi baby” out loud

I could make this a thirst trap alt. The world is full of possibilities. But I probably also won’t do that

I’m eating a raw potato whole and you are loving it, pervert!!! Weirdo! So weird that you would do like that!!

I am only here to follow Mr. KingDad42