Noah Goldfarb
@goldfarbwrites.bsky.social
Author | Mensch | Funny???
Querying for EXTRAMAGICAL AFFAIRS (80k-word comedic low fantasy)
goldfarbwrites.com
https://substack.com/@goldfarbwrites
Watch me read: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHvh73RuMV8/?igsh=NWNueDVzMGd3cmVw
Querying for EXTRAMAGICAL AFFAIRS (80k-word comedic low fantasy)
goldfarbwrites.com
https://substack.com/@goldfarbwrites
Watch me read: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHvh73RuMV8/?igsh=NWNueDVzMGd3cmVw
Is anyone publishing serialized/long-form fiction on #Substack? It's something I'm considering and would love to see how others are doing it.
#Writers #WritingCommunity #WritersLife
#Writers #WritingCommunity #WritersLife
June 30, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Is anyone publishing serialized/long-form fiction on #Substack? It's something I'm considering and would love to see how others are doing it.
#Writers #WritingCommunity #WritersLife
#Writers #WritingCommunity #WritersLife
RIP New York. An unsafe hellhole.
If I were a New Yorker, I would be terrified knowing that Andrew Cuomo is free to roam the streets, rather than locked up securely in the Mayor's Office where we can keep a close eye on him.
Prayers for NYC 🙏 lock your nursing home doors tn
#mamdani #mayor
If I were a New Yorker, I would be terrified knowing that Andrew Cuomo is free to roam the streets, rather than locked up securely in the Mayor's Office where we can keep a close eye on him.
Prayers for NYC 🙏 lock your nursing home doors tn
#mamdani #mayor
June 25, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Waiting to see if your offer on a house got accepted is wild.
Never have I been more conflicted about someone being willing to take my life savings.
Never have I been more conflicted about someone being willing to take my life savings.
June 23, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Waiting to see if your offer on a house got accepted is wild.
Never have I been more conflicted about someone being willing to take my life savings.
Never have I been more conflicted about someone being willing to take my life savings.
Who's writing the funniest, weirdest fiction today? I want set-ups to jokes that don't pay off for 200 pages, absurd plots, completely irreverent shit (sure, with some lessons thrown in too, I guess).
IOW, who is the Joseph Heller of 2025?
#booksky #reading #books #satire #humor
IOW, who is the Joseph Heller of 2025?
#booksky #reading #books #satire #humor
June 20, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Scrivener is probably my most often used tool that I feel like I barely scratch the surface of.
What's your favorite feature?
I personally love split-screen, especially when writing a chapter with a lot of references to an earlier one.
#writerslife #writing #authorslife #writingcommunity #novels
What's your favorite feature?
I personally love split-screen, especially when writing a chapter with a lot of references to an earlier one.
#writerslife #writing #authorslife #writingcommunity #novels
four ways to use Scrivener for all your writing projects
4 practical ideas for everything from articles and nonfiction manuscripts to a poetry collection, plus a bonus strategy for reducing writing anxiety
open.substack.com
June 19, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Scrivener is probably my most often used tool that I feel like I barely scratch the surface of.
What's your favorite feature?
I personally love split-screen, especially when writing a chapter with a lot of references to an earlier one.
#writerslife #writing #authorslife #writingcommunity #novels
What's your favorite feature?
I personally love split-screen, especially when writing a chapter with a lot of references to an earlier one.
#writerslife #writing #authorslife #writingcommunity #novels
Simultaneously trying to buy a house in Mass and get representation for my novel.
IOW, I'm trying out to be the poster boy for Masochism. Lmk if I make the cut.
#amquerying #amwriting #realestate #booksky #writingcommunity
IOW, I'm trying out to be the poster boy for Masochism. Lmk if I make the cut.
#amquerying #amwriting #realestate #booksky #writingcommunity
June 17, 2025 at 1:49 PM
Simultaneously trying to buy a house in Mass and get representation for my novel.
IOW, I'm trying out to be the poster boy for Masochism. Lmk if I make the cut.
#amquerying #amwriting #realestate #booksky #writingcommunity
IOW, I'm trying out to be the poster boy for Masochism. Lmk if I make the cut.
#amquerying #amwriting #realestate #booksky #writingcommunity
Any suggestions for #RomComs that err toward irreverent and goofy #humor rather than cutesy?
Extra points for magical realism or low fantasy
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #Books
Extra points for magical realism or low fantasy
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #Books
June 11, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Any suggestions for #RomComs that err toward irreverent and goofy #humor rather than cutesy?
Extra points for magical realism or low fantasy
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #Books
Extra points for magical realism or low fantasy
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #Books
The Male Loneliness Epidemic comes for another pair of besties :'(
Thoughts go out to Elon and Trump
Dap up the fellas extra hard tn
Thoughts go out to Elon and Trump
Dap up the fellas extra hard tn
June 5, 2025 at 8:50 PM
The Male Loneliness Epidemic comes for another pair of besties :'(
Thoughts go out to Elon and Trump
Dap up the fellas extra hard tn
Thoughts go out to Elon and Trump
Dap up the fellas extra hard tn
My dad died in Feb, so would someone mind listening to the Carrie & Lowell reissue for me and telling me if Sufjan made it happy this time before I give it a listen?
I bet this was why he re-released (was too sad before 😔) but don't want to chance it.
#music #sufjanstevens #carrieandlowell
I bet this was why he re-released (was too sad before 😔) but don't want to chance it.
#music #sufjanstevens #carrieandlowell
June 1, 2025 at 5:22 PM
My dad died in Feb, so would someone mind listening to the Carrie & Lowell reissue for me and telling me if Sufjan made it happy this time before I give it a listen?
I bet this was why he re-released (was too sad before 😔) but don't want to chance it.
#music #sufjanstevens #carrieandlowell
I bet this was why he re-released (was too sad before 😔) but don't want to chance it.
#music #sufjanstevens #carrieandlowell
I don't know how I got by before knowing the word "ostensibly".
What would I drop into the middle of a sentence to sound thoughtful and intelligent???
"Apparently"??
Give me a fucking break.
#Write #WriteSky #BookSky #WritersLife #WritingCommunity
What would I drop into the middle of a sentence to sound thoughtful and intelligent???
"Apparently"??
Give me a fucking break.
#Write #WriteSky #BookSky #WritersLife #WritingCommunity
May 29, 2025 at 11:16 AM
I don't know how I got by before knowing the word "ostensibly".
What would I drop into the middle of a sentence to sound thoughtful and intelligent???
"Apparently"??
Give me a fucking break.
#Write #WriteSky #BookSky #WritersLife #WritingCommunity
What would I drop into the middle of a sentence to sound thoughtful and intelligent???
"Apparently"??
Give me a fucking break.
#Write #WriteSky #BookSky #WritersLife #WritingCommunity
Without question the very worst thing about generative AI is that it has turned people against em dashes. Many associate the beautiful — with trash AI-generated content.
The future grows bleaker by the day.
#AI #Writing #WritersLife #AmQuerying #WritingCommunity
The future grows bleaker by the day.
#AI #Writing #WritersLife #AmQuerying #WritingCommunity
May 27, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Without question the very worst thing about generative AI is that it has turned people against em dashes. Many associate the beautiful — with trash AI-generated content.
The future grows bleaker by the day.
#AI #Writing #WritersLife #AmQuerying #WritingCommunity
The future grows bleaker by the day.
#AI #Writing #WritersLife #AmQuerying #WritingCommunity
Reading Careless People is like when you're on the train and someone on the phone starts loudly shit talking all their coworkers.
You know that they're leaving a ton out to make themselves sound better, but, man, it still makes for good eavesdropping.
#booksky #books #facebook
You know that they're leaving a ton out to make themselves sound better, but, man, it still makes for good eavesdropping.
#booksky #books #facebook
May 25, 2025 at 1:36 PM
When they come up and down the aisles at baseball games yelling "HOT DOG" are they offering or requesting?
May 24, 2025 at 6:44 PM
When they come up and down the aisles at baseball games yelling "HOT DOG" are they offering or requesting?
Writing a novel is similar to making pulled pork, in that it feels really really tough (drafting) and then eventually falls apart (querying).
#amwriting #amquerying #writerslife #writingcommunity
#amwriting #amquerying #writerslife #writingcommunity
May 23, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Writing a novel is similar to making pulled pork, in that it feels really really tough (drafting) and then eventually falls apart (querying).
#amwriting #amquerying #writerslife #writingcommunity
#amwriting #amquerying #writerslife #writingcommunity
More food/drinks should be like cold brew. You just put a dry in a wet and let it sit until it tastes good.
Anyone who mentions overnight oats will be blocked.
Anyone who mentions overnight oats will be blocked.
May 22, 2025 at 2:08 PM
More food/drinks should be like cold brew. You just put a dry in a wet and let it sit until it tastes good.
Anyone who mentions overnight oats will be blocked.
Anyone who mentions overnight oats will be blocked.
How much time do you #amquerying authors spend on promotion activities (i.e. social) vs querying vs working on other stories/etc.?
For me, it's prob:
Promotion: 10%
Querying: 40%
Additional Submissions: 30%
Bonus: Tinkering w/ manuscript: 20%
#writer #writingcommunity #booksky #amwriting #novels
For me, it's prob:
Promotion: 10%
Querying: 40%
Additional Submissions: 30%
Bonus: Tinkering w/ manuscript: 20%
#writer #writingcommunity #booksky #amwriting #novels
May 22, 2025 at 1:47 PM
How much time do you #amquerying authors spend on promotion activities (i.e. social) vs querying vs working on other stories/etc.?
For me, it's prob:
Promotion: 10%
Querying: 40%
Additional Submissions: 30%
Bonus: Tinkering w/ manuscript: 20%
#writer #writingcommunity #booksky #amwriting #novels
For me, it's prob:
Promotion: 10%
Querying: 40%
Additional Submissions: 30%
Bonus: Tinkering w/ manuscript: 20%
#writer #writingcommunity #booksky #amwriting #novels
The clearest sign that I'm in the waning days of my twenties is how excited I am to discover all the different uses of cabbage. Truly an incredible vegetable. A real stand-out. Can't wait to carry this knowledge into the next decade of life.
May 15, 2025 at 10:20 PM
The clearest sign that I'm in the waning days of my twenties is how excited I am to discover all the different uses of cabbage. Truly an incredible vegetable. A real stand-out. Can't wait to carry this knowledge into the next decade of life.
I think that when there's a penalty in hockey, instead of the fouling team losing one player for two minutes, the team that got fouled should be allowed to put every player on the ice at once for 15 seconds
May 15, 2025 at 1:22 AM
I think that when there's a penalty in hockey, instead of the fouling team losing one player for two minutes, the team that got fouled should be allowed to put every player on the ice at once for 15 seconds
What inspires you most when you're in a writing rut? For me, reading a good book always helps, but honestly listening to music I love is even better. Some that tend to do the trick for me are:
—David Berman
—Mitski
—Radiohead
—Saba
—Talking Heads
Hbu?
#WritingCommunity #AskWriters #AmQuerying
—David Berman
—Mitski
—Radiohead
—Saba
—Talking Heads
Hbu?
#WritingCommunity #AskWriters #AmQuerying
May 14, 2025 at 12:46 PM
What inspires you most when you're in a writing rut? For me, reading a good book always helps, but honestly listening to music I love is even better. Some that tend to do the trick for me are:
—David Berman
—Mitski
—Radiohead
—Saba
—Talking Heads
Hbu?
#WritingCommunity #AskWriters #AmQuerying
—David Berman
—Mitski
—Radiohead
—Saba
—Talking Heads
Hbu?
#WritingCommunity #AskWriters #AmQuerying
Miss you dad.
Dead Dad Diaries #6: 1 dead dad = 1 bad beard
Grief is a cruel and slovenly beast.
open.substack.com
May 14, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Miss you dad.
What better way to celebrate mother's day than by comparing facial hair with my dead dad!
Sound fun? Give it a read!
#humor #grief #mothersday #substack
Sound fun? Give it a read!
#humor #grief #mothersday #substack
Dead Dad Diaries #6: 1 dead dad = 1 bad beard
Grief is a cruel and slovenly beast.
open.substack.com
May 11, 2025 at 4:32 PM
What better way to celebrate mother's day than by comparing facial hair with my dead dad!
Sound fun? Give it a read!
#humor #grief #mothersday #substack
Sound fun? Give it a read!
#humor #grief #mothersday #substack
Just finished Catch 22! So good. Can't wait for 23 to come out. Take your time JH, you can't rush perfection.
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #reading #books
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #reading #books
May 11, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Just finished Catch 22! So good. Can't wait for 23 to come out. Take your time JH, you can't rush perfection.
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #reading #books
#BookSky #WritingCommunity #reading #books
Read Catch-23: How to Feel Heard in Your Marriage, Even if Your Wife Doesn't Read Your Substack
#humor #substack
open.substack.com/pub/goldfarb...
#humor #substack
open.substack.com/pub/goldfarb...
May 8, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Read Catch-23: How to Feel Heard in Your Marriage, Even if Your Wife Doesn't Read Your Substack
#humor #substack
open.substack.com/pub/goldfarb...
#humor #substack
open.substack.com/pub/goldfarb...
